The Depression Topic 3 - We fight the depression.

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Nio, is it your job that's getting to you? It's understandable if you're not totally sure what's upsetting you, but please talk to us about it.

I... think I understand how difficult it can be to smile when you're not in the mood to smile. It's not fun.

But please understand that there are people who care about you. Yes we're people on the internet on an ancient fourm, but that doesn't change that fact that you matter to a lot of people. It's okay to be sad. It's okay if you don't want to smile or laugh.

But please Nio. Please, live.

User Info: Mr Lasastryke

Mr Lasastryke
2 months ago#243
NioraptH posted...
I've been taking a lot of pills and I purposely overdoes sometimes to see if I'd die but nothing yet....

wtf. please don't do this again.
Geothermal terpsichorean ejectamenta

User Info: Mr Lasastryke

Mr Lasastryke
2 months ago#244
and blackscar f*** off.

trolling the politics topic is one thing but this isn't the place for your stupid act.
Geothermal terpsichorean ejectamenta

User Info: GTM

2 months ago#245
Nio, I'm always a Line message away if you need to type things out, I'm always available as a wall to yell at. There's always someone here to listen. Don't put yourself down, or blame yourself for putting yourself down, we understand the difficulty
survivor and dillos and nintendo and caelus and wrestling and uca

User Info: NioraptH

2 months ago#246
It's mostly my job...

The people are nice but the nice ones are leaving.

But I know the actual trigger was something that happened last month. Ever since then I felt that I never had an outlet to talk about anything because people always take it personally and it's always my fault.

When I tell my family they always say I shoukd just tough it out because they had it worse BUT I CAN'T
"Got any paper? Then we can draw our swords!" - random Dynasty Warriors 8 Hulao Gate grunt

User Info: BowserCuffs

2 months ago#247
NioraptH posted...

When I tell my family they always say I shoukd just tough it out because they had it worse BUT I CAN'T

Believe it or not, I do believe you're already toughing it out.

You went to work today, right? Even though you're so completely miserable, depressed, and in pain, you went to work. That's toughing it out. Toughing it out doesn't mean pretending you don't hurt, it means pushing through the pain through every inch of sweat and tears. And you did it today. I'd say that's something to be proud of.

But also, if you can't, well... you can't. There might be a point where you reach the end of your rope and you can't go any further no matter how you try. It's not your fault for being human. It's not the end of the road - there will always be tomorrow, and another way through.
Everyone's best is different.
You can't always be the best, but you can always do your best.
Don't mistake "being tough" with "feeling nothing". Too many people make that mistake. And from personal experience? The latter isn't fun or desirable.

You're allowed to feel pain. It doesn't make you any less of a person. It doesn't mean it's "your fault" for having and expressing feelings. It's not your fault if you need help. You're a person, not an unfeeling machine that never needs maintenance. Life is f***ing hard, no one gets through it all on their own. Fortunately, most people don't have to go through it alone. That includes you, Nio.

I'm sorry your family isn't being very supportive right now. If you feel comfortable talking about the incident that caused all of this, please share. Even if we're not physically there, perhaps being able to discuss it with someone who will listen will help.

As for you job? Well first off I wouldn't recommend making any serious decisions without giving it serious amount of though.... but perhaps it's simply time to move on. Some jobs just aren't meant to last forever. Of course I know nothing of your financial situation or anything like that, so agian give it some thought when you're feeling better.

User Info: HookedOnSonics

2 months ago#249
I'm a terrible advise person so I can't offer that but please hang in there nio, life is worth living even if sometimes it doesn't feel that way. It'll be worth it.
Certified Wigs Alt: Fastest Thing Alive

User Info: NioraptH

2 months ago#250
I can't afford to be unemployed but I also don't want to risk going to a new job....

And today the unofficial results of the travel fair last week got announced and I did second and third best for some things but I'm still down because I had to ask help from a lot of people so it didn't feel like my own effort.

I feel so unmotivated to do anything, and my fake enthusiasm and fake gungho attitude at work is wearing me down.

Also, I don't feel like talking about the incident... but I am sick of being compared to others. People always say how lucky I am for being an only child but they don't know how f***ing lonely it gets. And then I get compared to hell and back with any breathing being at how I'm such a failure.

I don't even have coherant thoughts anymore.

I'm on the train home. I had overtime at work. That depresses me even more because I work shifts and I can never have weekends off to meet friends due to my 'senior' status
"Got any paper? Then we can draw our swords!" - random Dynasty Warriors 8 Hulao Gate grunt
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