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Him: Captain Falcon! He moves so fast through the air and his jumps give him so much altitude that it's ridiculous!
That would only hold a little water in melee, where momentum carries into jumps. When you jump in brawl, no matter how fast you're moving, you're set to a maximum velocity, and momentum does not carry over at all. Furthermore, this only holds when you're jumping from the ground... and you're not jumping from the ground when recovering.
troll topic but i'll argue since it's fun too =)
Falcon's options: -double jump, which has ok height and average distance. -downB, only used for horizontal distance and if you're very high up. It helps a bit, but it's very situational and not what I'd call amazing. -upB, which is very easy to land because of brawl's stupid auto-snap ledges. distance-wise it's average. Falcon lacks DI while using it, so he's basically locked almost to a set trajectory. If his only option is to get the edge (rather than landing on it), then edgehog, then stock lost. If you time your edgehog, invincibility frames prevent him from grabbing you on the edge. If he can land on the edge, just edgehog anyways. He has noticeable lag upon landing from upB that you can get back on instantly and send him off again. -sideB, very linear, but it does allow a mixup to grab the ledge. Still, if the opponent edgehogs at the right timing, he can't do anything if he goes for the ledge, and if he goes over, then he can be punished like landing from upB.
Metaknight's options: -five jumps, mediocre distance and average height each, which equals amazing height and good distance, and ridiculous variety -sideB, MK can change his trajectory, and has lots of priority. If you use a ranged attack against him, even if you read him perfectly, at best you'll merely tie, so you won't hurt him. -downB, MK becomes invincible. If predicted, it's punishable, but it's a rarely used option, and useful just as an occasional mixup. Not best distance, but an option is better than no option. -neutralb, lol, nobody sans falco/rob laser can stop it. Don't even bother trying to edgeguard this. ridiculous horizontal distance and the vertical distance equates that of Falcon's upB -upB, comes out instantly, unpredictable, invincibility, kills opponents for defense, and leads into a glide. So infinite horizontal and vertical recovery. -oh yeah, MK can glide before he upBs -oh yeah, MK can infinite dimensional cape. lol.