Review by Turbo Speed
"I used the cards for bikes spokes. It was a better investment."
I remember there were some games featuring everyone's favorite foreign fat plumber that came out before the masterpiece that is Super Mario Bros. There were two games featuring Mario. One game was called Donkey Kong and the other was dubbed as Mario Bros. Donkey Kong was the first game that featured a fat, little plumber a little bit like Mario. He was originally intended to be a carpenter instead of a plumber. His creator, Shigeru Miayamoto, was going to name his plumber character "Jumpman." This was going to happen until Miayamoto looked closely at the character and though he looked a lot like the landlord of Nintendo Headquarters, a guy named Mario. It was there that he named his character Mario. The name then just stuck to him and he starred in the next game: Mario Bros.
Mario Bros. was a game that many people like, but I never really was a fan of it. Especially since the game Mario Bros. was remade in Super Mario All-Stars, Mario Advances 1 through 4 as a multiplayer, Mario and Luigi, and, of course, the e-Reader. Not counting remakes, it was released on the NES, the Atari systems, the arcade, and countless other retro systems. Oh, the cruelty! We are sure that every gamer has played this game at least once before. If you meet somebody who's a self-proclaimed gamer, you ask him if he's played Mario Bros., and he replies with a "no," he's most likely lying. After all, this game attempted to be everywhere.
You start off as Mario in a sewer-like place. You run underneath you enemies, jump to flip them on their heads and watch them hopelessly squirm to get back on their feet, and run up to them to automatically kick one of them. Yawn. This is fun for possibly ten minutes, fifteen minutes tops. Any time after that, you will probably be taking these cards to the game and building a lob-sided card house. Why would you be doing such a thing? Repetition, that's why. You do this over and over again until you get through the 255 levels (I think that's how many there are.) or decide stop, take the cards, and burn them. Due to the repetition, the game feels like a mini-game within a mini-game within a mini-game. It's sad, really.
Mario is a dull looking sprite. He has little to no detail at all. The enemies look childish and idiotic, such as a bouncing clown bug thing called a "Fighterfly." You are also in a dull-looking sewer and there's no background, unless you count the bold color of pitch black alone as a real background. I know it's an NES game, Nintendo, but it wouldn't have hurt to update a little.
When it comes to sound, there's not much. It's just the same "Dum d-dum d-dum duh d-dum duh d-dum d-dum" theme music over and over again when it comes to the music of this game. The sounds, on the other hand, are pretty ordinary and painfully generic, even if they fit in the game well.
To tell the truth, there's really no story in this game, unless you count a fat plumber decides he wants to travel to the sewer and beat up little enemies until he dies hopelessly. This would be amazing and suspenseful if it hadn't been remade so many times that it was simply boring.
Replay value is truthfully low. If you were to beat this game after shooting hundreds of times, losing all your lives, losing time, and coming within the brink of insanity a couple of times, and finally make it to the very end, would you really want to do it all again? Yeah, me neither.
You might wonder if you should buy or rent this game. Well, whoever heard of renting e-Reader cards? You could only buy or borrow these cards. I suggest you just avoid these cards completely. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the people at the store approach you the second you enter and would pay you to take this game. If you own an e-Reader, get a decent game like Balloon Fight, which is possibly the best e-Reader game. If you don't own an e-Reader but you own a Game Boy Advance, look up the Classic NES Series game series and get Super Mario Bros. instead. It's a much more entertaining game and it's worth the money.
Reviewer's Rating: 1.5 - Bad
Originally Posted: 11/01/04, Updated 01/02/07
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