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    Walkthrough by Outlaw

    Version: 4.00 | Updated: 03/13/01 | Search Guide | Bookmark Guide

    Conker's Bad Fur Day - Walkthrough
    Version 4.00
    Dennis "Outlaw" Wentworth
    E-Mail: dwent@nmt.edu
    I.          Introduction
    II.         Legal Crap
    III.        Walkthrough
                 1 - "Hungover"
                     1.1 - Scaredy Birdy
                     1.2 - Pan Handled
                     1.3 - Gargoyle
                 2 - "Windy"
                     2.1 - Mrs. Bee
                     2.2 - Poo Cabin
                     2.3 - Pruned!
                     2.4 - Yee Haaw!
                     2.5 - Sewage Sucks
                     2.6 - Great Balls of Poo
                     2.7 - Wasps' Revenge
                     2.8 - Mr. Barrel
                 3 - "Barn Boys"
                     3.1 - Marvin
                     3.2 - Mad Pitchfork
                     3.3 - Sunny Days
                     3.4 - Barry + Co
                     3.5 - Buff You
                     3.6 - Haybot Wars
                     3.7 - Frying Tonight
                     3.8 - Slam Dunk
                 4 - "Bats Tower"
                     4.1 - Mrs. Catfish
                     4.2 - Barry's Mate
                     4.3 - Cogs' Revenge
                     4.3 - The Combination
                     4.5 - Blast Doors
                     4.6 - Clang's Lair
                     4.7 - Pisstastic
                     4.8 - Brass Monkey's
                     4.9 - Bullfish's Revenge
                5 - "Sloprano"
                     5.1 - Corn off the Cob
                     5.2 - Sweet Melody
                     5.3 - U-Bend Blues
                     5.4 - The Bluff
                6 - "Uga Buga"
                     6.1 - Drunken Gits
                     6.2 - Sacrifice
                     6.3 - Phlegm
                     6.4 - Worship
                     6.5 - Rock Solid
                     6.6 - Bomb Run
                     6.7 - Mugged
                     6.8 - Raptor Food
                     6.9 - Buga the Knut
                7 - "Spooky"
                     7.1 - Mr. Death
                     7.2 - Count Batula
                     7.3 - Zombies
                     7.4 - Mr. Barrel
                8 - "It's War"
                     8.1 - It's War
                     8.2 - Power's Off
                     8.3 - TNT
                     8.4 - The Assault
                     8.5 - Sole Survivor
                     8.6 - Casualties Dept.
                     8.7 - Saving Private Rodent
                     8.8 - Chemical Warfare
                     8.9 - The Tower
                     8.10 - Little Girl
                     8.11 - The Experiment
                     8.12 - Countdown
                     8.13 - Peace At Last
                9 - "Heist"
                     9.1 - The Windmill's Dead
                     9.2 - Enter the Vertex
                     9.3 - The Vault
                     9.4 - End Credits
    I.          Introduction
    My first public walkthrough just happens to be for one of the coolest
    games. I've written over walkthroughs privately for quite a few N64
    games, so I thought I'd give it a shot for everyone else to see my
    work. This is by far one of the best games to come out for the N64.
    It has everything that a gamer could ask for in a game. Great story-
    line, movie spoofs, awesome replay value, great graphics, toilet
    humor, and of course foul language. RARE really outdid themselves
    with this game. Believe me this game is so much more appealing then
    the original Conker's Twelve Tails idea. Great job RARE. Anyways
    everyone enjoy the walkthrough, I hope it helps. If you would like to
    request over material in the guide, then feel free to email me, or if
    you would just like to comment on it. I'm open to all emails. Here it
    is Outlaw's Conker's Bad Fur Day Walkthrough.
    II.         Legal Crap
    © Copyright 2001 Dennis "Outlaw" Wentworth. This FAQ and everything
    included  within  this  file cannot be reproduced in any way, shape
    or form  (physical, electronical, or otherwise) aside from being
    placed on a freely-accessible, non-commercial web page in it's
    original, unedited and  unaltered  format. This FAQ cannot be used for
    profitable purposes(even if no money would be made from selling it) or
    promotional purposes. It  cannot be used in any sort of commercial
    transaction. It cannot be given away as some sort of bonus, gift, etc.,
    with a purchase as this creates incentive to buy and is therefore
    III.        Walkthrough
    1 - "Hungover"
      1.1 - Scaredy Birdy
      Run around the fench until you reach the scarecrow, Birdy. Talk to
      him and he will teach you about the Context Sensitive Pads (B-Button).
      Press B once to try out the technique. Then walk over to the pad where
      you started and press B again. Your hangover will magically disappear
      with the help of some Alka-Selzer. Next, swim to the island just before
      the waterfall. Conker will have a flashback (common in this game), and
      he will remember how to perform some moves (Z - crouch, A - jump, A again
      - tailspin helicopter). Using your new moves, start to jump your way up
      the platforms, until you get to a giant switch in the wall. Pull it, and
      it will open the closed door that you passed below. Then, talk to the
      gargoyle, however do not fight him yet. Instead go in the newly-opened 
      1.2 - Pan Handled
      Find the key that's running around in the room. Capture it by smacking it
      with the frying pan, and then pick it up. Carry it back to the door you
      entered in to unlock it. You have now learned your primary attack for the
      game. Exit the room and go back to the gargoyle's perch.
      1.3 - Gargoyle
      Hit the gargoyle with your frying pan, this will in turn send him over the
      edge. However, a giant boulder now blocks your path. Jump on it, and then
      tailspin to the right perch. Press B on the pad, which will detonate the
      boulder and allow you access to the next area.
    2 - "Windy"
      2.1 - Mrs. Bee
      Upon entering this new area run to the right, and find the crying bee. 
      Bee will tell you of the wasps who stole her beehive, and she will request
      that you retrieve it. Go back to the Naughty/Nice Sign and go the 
      way. Continue to the huge beehive where you will find the small hive being
      guarded by three wasps. Grab the hive, and the run your ass off to get 
      to Mrs. Bee. Make sure to keep moving and to avoid walking throw the honey
      that will slow you down.If you get hit you will have to start from the
      beginning again. Once you return the hive, Mrs. Bee will kick ass by 
      down the wasps with the beehive turned turret gun, and she'll give you 
      (Kick Ass!)Go across the bridge towards the Context Sensitive Pad and 
      Pay him $10 to get the Instruction Manual, which you will refer to learn 
      moves. Here you learn how to use the slingshots. Use your new move to 
      the red beatles on the mountain. After killing them all a door will open 
      the top of the mountain. Scale the mountain and then go into this door. At
      this point it is recommended you do as much of Chapter 3 as possible, in 
      to earn more money to proceed further in the game. Once you have at least 
      return to the top of the mountain, and go the way that "smells a bit 
      2.2 - Poo Cabin
      Enter the house near the entrance of this area, and talk to the dung 
      behind the desk. He will ask you to get the basement filled with crap and 
      will then give you poo balls. (Oh boy!) Jump on the trapdoor and press the 
      button. You will fall into a hallway followed by a large well with lots of
      ropes in it. Climb the ropes and make it to the exit at the top of the 
      Exit the room to enter the pasture.
      2.3 - Pruned!
      Upon entering the pasture make your way left to the ramp next to the shed.
      Climb your way to the top of the shed and then walk out to the metal 
      Stand on the flat plate and run the direction the arrow points, and after 
      few turns prune juice will fall from the faucet and fill up the trough 
      Go back to the pasture where the bull is grazing.
      2.4 - Yee Haaw!
      Stand in front of the bullseye that came out of the wall, until the bull
      charges you. Jump before he hits you, and he will push the lever back into 
      wall, in turn opening a door and releasing a cow into the pasture. Another
      bullseye will open. Have the bull charge into it and he will get his horns 
      Get close to him and press B to initiate the bullride. While riding the 
    bull charge
      into the female cow and she will get annoyed and go drink from the trough, 
      her to get the "screaming shits." After you are done watching her 
    rendering shitting,
      charge her again with the bull, which will kill the cow, and activate 
      bullseye. Repeat the above for the remaining two bullseyes. Each time you 
    will have
      to hit the cow an additional time to get her to drink the prune juice.
      2.5 - Sewage Sucks
      Go back into the door you entered from, and you will notice the well is 
    now filled
      with nasty shit water. Find your way to the Context Sensitive Pad and 
    press B.
      Here you will get the Confidence Pills which allow you to swim underwater. 
      learning this move, swim back to where the trapdoor dropped you. You will 
    find $100
      yelling at you to pick it up. Do so, and then go back into the well and 
    swim into
      the black hole below.
      2.6 - Great Balls of Poo
      Now go outside of the Poo Cabin, and you will be greeted by the dung 
    beetle from
      the cabin. He will give you access to all the poo balls you want (Aren't 
    You Lucky?).
      First you should take the poo ball and roll it behind the cabin and up the 
    ramp. Take
      care to dodge the beetles on the way up. You will reach the end of the 
    ramp and you
      will drop the poo ball into the giant beetles mouth (with a stick of TNT, 
    of course).
      Then the beetle will blow up. Go back to the Poo Cabin and pick up another 
    poo ball.
      This time go up the ramp right in front of you. Again, dodge the beetles 
    and get to
      the end of the ramp and push the ball into the black cave entrance. It 
    will fall through
      the crap mound and bust open the door on the bottom. This will lead to 
    Chapter 5.
      *For more money superjump to the top of the poo mountain. Finally take one 
    last poo
      ball and roll it to the right of the ramp in front of you and drop it onto 
      Spike Mine. Jump down to that ledge and press the switch, which will 
    create a whirlpool.
      Carefully swim to the door on the opposite side of the pool which leads to 
    Chapter 3.
      2.7 - Wasps' Revenge
      Once again the wasps have taken Mrs. Bee's beloved hive. This time you 
    will have to
      venture deeper into the large hive on top of the hill. Go inside the hive, 
      follow the spiral path to the center of the hive. Jump inside Mrs. Bee's 
    hive and
      lock and load for your turretfest. Your job is too shoot down all of the 
    bees. This
      is rather easy, all you have to do is watch your radar. Blue means you 
    have time to
      attack, red means the bee is attacking. Once you have fought off enough 
    bees the
      original three will start chasing you again. Again, you must run the hive 
    back to
      Mrs. Bee. Just use the same strategy as before and you will make it. There 
    is a plus
      if you get hit you can pick up the hive again. After you have fought off 
    the wasps
      and returned the hive, Mrs. Bee will give you your $400. (Hellz Yeah) *For 
      money go back to the bee hive and enter the door above where you went to 
    fight the
      2.8 - Mr. Barrel
      First, make sure that you have $2110 or you are wasting your time. Once 
    you have
      the money, goto the windmill. Make sure that you don't get killed by the 
    worms who
      surface from the ground. They can kill you very fast and easily. Once at 
      windmill talk to Mr. Barrel, and he will offer you a ride. Accept his 
      and use the control stick to roll down the mountain and kill the worms. If 
      make it to the bottom you will fall off the barrel and it will fly off and 
      open a new area behind the river for you to explore Chapter 7.
    3 - "Barn Boys"
      3.1 - Marvin
      Upon entering this area run straight ahead and then to the right of the 
    barn in
      front of you. Locate a very foul mouse causing trouble between the metal 
      Jack and his girlfriend. Jack requests of you that you help get this mouse 
      of his way, he offers the assistance of his fellow metal crate Burt. Make 
      way back to the front of the barn, and this time follow the left path 
    where crates
      are jumping up and down along this path. Talk to Burt who is sitting next 
    to a cage
      that is keeping some cheese trapped. He will lower the gate for you. Hit a 
    piece of
      cheese with your frying pan attack, and then carry it back to Marvin. You 
    will need
      to feed him three pieces of cheese. Once you have done this Marvin will 
    explode and
      Jack and his girlfriend will be happy again. Jack will give you a piece of
      information that something very interesting is inside the barn. Jump on 
    top of Jack
      and then his girlfriend, and again to the metal pipe coming out of the 
    barn. make
      your way to the roof of the barn and find the stash of cash there. *For 
    more lives
      goto the cage holding the cheese, and jump around on the platforms behind 
      Upon jumping  on one of the platforms a light bulb will appear. Press the 
    B button
      and Conker will turn into an anvil and smash the platform revealing a ten 
    tail power
      up. Hellz yeah!*
      3.2 - Mad Pitchfork
      Again go to the roof of the barn and press the large button next to where 
    you found
      the stash of cash. This button will unlock the front door to the barn. 
      get down from the roof, and make your way inside. In the barn there are a 
    bunch of
      haystacks jumping around, a pitchfork, a bucket of paint, and a 
    paintbrush. After
      the pitchfork, paint, and paintbrush, are done argueing the pitchfork will 
    pick a
      fight with you. In order to win you need to lead Franky (the pitchfork) 
    over to
      the hopping haystacks. When he attacks you, jump behind a haystack and he 
      destroy it. After he has destroyed a few stacks he will proclaim that he 
    is no
      longer good at butt-kicking, and instead of killing you he decides to hang
      himself. When he goes to do this he finds that he can't because he has no 
    neck. Now
      he is stuck and can't get down. Once Conker has control again, pull the 
    lever that
      is at the entrance of the barn next to the haystacks. This will release 
    Mr. Bee,
      and he will fall to right outside the barn's main door. Go talk to Mr. Bee 
      3.3 - Sunny Days
      When you talk to Mr. Bee he'll tell you that he would like to "pollinate" 
      Sunflower. (Of course, in this game we all know what that really means.)
      Anyway, make your way to the Sunflower who is found to the right of the 
      entrance in this area. She will tell you that she is ticklish, so you next 
      is to find a way to tickle her. Oddly enough when going back to Mr. Bee 
      run upon "pacifist" bees who would rather tickle someone then sting them. 
      the bees follow you back to the Sunflower and she will be tickled by them. 
      must find a total of five swarms of bees in order to get Mr. Bee to be 
    able to
      pollinate her. Their locations are as follows:
       1) Next to wooden crate, close to Mr. Bee (obviously)
       2) Near the entrance to this area, close to the front of the barn.
       3) Near the platforms behind all the cheese running around.
       4) Near the button that unlocked the barn door, on top of the barn roof.
       5) Near the large bucket that lies high up in the sky. Get to the roof,
        then high jump onto the next roof, and then you can climb the rest of
        the way.
      After all of the tickle bees have worked their magic, Mr. Bee will 
    pollinate the
      Sunflower. During this sequence all we see is Conker's face and all the 
      expressions he makes, very comical. After Mr. Bee has pollinated the 
      she will ask you if you care for a bounce. Conker obliges and he bounces 
    on her
      ... "stigmas." In order to reach the wad of money you must bounce three 
    times in
      a row, and then tailspin your way to the cave that the money is sitting 
      3.4 - Barry + Co
      Go back to where you found the wooden crate bouncing around on the 
      Jump on him when he is close to the door that leads to the attic barn. 
      insides you will have to fight off a few bats. Slowly make your way across
      the narrow beams and when you hear a bat squeak press the B button and 
      will pull out his flamethower, and turn the bats into crispy critters.
      Continue along the beams, killing the bats as you go. Once you have 
      the end of the beams you will be able to equip some knives and chuck them 
      Franky. Aim the knives for the rope he is attached to, and he will be cut 
      3.5 - Buff You
      Meet up with Franky on the ground and he talk to you and thank you. He 
      also offer you a ride. Accept his ride and make your way back to the barn 
      where you will now find the gigantic haystack. You must stab him with 
      fork, while dodge his attacks. Press the B button to jab at the haystack. 
      first time you do so and hit him he will catch fire for a minute. The 
      time you hit him he will partially burn off the hay, which will reveal his
      "Terminator" eye. The third, and final, time that you stab him he will
      completely burn off and knock a hole in the ground which all three of you 
      fall through.
      3.6 - Haybot Wars
      In the basement when Conker gets up, he has hurt his leg during the fall. 
      up with Franky (you are more mobile with him). The Haybot's first attack 
      with his large "Suzie 9MM" missiles. If you are on foot they will miss 
      but if you are on Franky you have to do a little more creative dodging. 
      on Franky, run behind one of the three pipes and the missile will break 
    the pipe.
      This will cause water to spill out in front of the pipe and into the 
    middle of
      the area. Lead the Haybot into this puddle of water, and he will be 
      from the wires dangling from above. While he is electrocuted he will begin 
      spin around in a circle. Run up to him and jump on the big red button that 
      "Do Not Push!" When you jump for the button the lightbulb will appear, so 
      the B button. This will slam you into the button and blow one of the 
      arms off. Repeat this procedure two more times. The final time that you 
    push the
      button the Haybot will complete blow up into a pile of slag.
      3.7 - Frying Tonight
      You thought you were home free?!?! Don't count on it. Once the robot has 
      destroyed the water level in this area will begin to fill up. Your job is 
      stay above the water line and to avoid the electric wires that dangle 
      close to the water. Make your way to the ladder behind the column with the 
      arrows pointing at it. Climb the ladder and press B on the Context 
    Sensitive Pad,
      you will be taking into knife mode again. Aim your knives at the dangling 
      that are found on all sides of you. Once, you have knocked them off you 
    are free
      to swim up to the next platform and do the same thing there. After, all of 
      wires have been disposed of, swim your way to the large opening across 
    from the
      second platform.
      3.8 - Slam Dunk
      Well you're only out of danger for a moment, so don't get all stoked yet. 
      should on top of the barn for this part. Make your way to the top of this
      structure. Go slow, keep your balance, and dodge the patrolling wasps that 
      going back and forth. Once you reach the top of the structure make your 
    way out
      to the diving board, and jump to the piece of chocolate that is floating 
    in the
      air. At this point you will get a lightbulb over your head, immediately 
    press the
      B button to once again turn Conker into the anvil. He will plumit down 
    onto a switch
      in the bucket, which will open the grating down in the small stream. Make 
    your way
      down to this newly opened point, and inside this cave you will find a tail 
      more money.
    4 - "Bats Tower"
      4.1 - Mrs. Catfish
      As soon as you enter this area, you will be greeted by a school of female 
      (of course they need your help!) They need you to do something about the 
      that is guarding their safe at the end of the stream. In the pool where 
      bullfish is, look for an opening in the lower part of the pool, and swim 
    into it.
      4.2 - Barry's Mate
      Swim through the water-filled tunnel and emerge on the surface about the 
      off grating. Get out of the water and make you way up the small ramp and 
    talk to
      the cog. More then likely you will be talking to the rude cog who tells 
    you to
      get his cogs back. After that nice conversation you will get another one 
      the cogs alter-ego who is a perfect gentleman. Before you go and get back 
    the cogs
      you should climb the tower. Start by finding the elevator platform close 
    to the cog
      wall. Walk around to the small beam the spans the diameter of the tower. 
    Watch out
      for bats waiting to attack you from the rafter. While on the beam wait for 
    a bats
      squeak then press the B button and unleash your flamethrower. Continue 
    your way
      across the beams and up the ropes, frying bats as your progress. When you 
    make it to
      the top of the tower, jump onto the stone platforms where the Spike Mines 
    are. Work
      your way around the perimeter of the castle until you reach the wad of 
    cash. Return
      to the section of the castle just below you. Grab the lever that is 
    adjacent to you,
      and pull it. This will open the grating at the very bottom of the tower, 
      in the water. The quickest way to get down safely is to get back up on the 
      where the money was, and just jump off the tower (towards the outside), 
    and you will
      land safely in the pond outside where the bullfish is. Swim back into the 
      to go back into the tower.
      4.3 - Cogs' Revenge
      Go into the underwater tunnel that is now up, behind where the grating 
    was. Avoid
      the two Spike Mines and then swim up in through the opening. The first cog 
      running around this circular section. The second and third cog are running 
      in the circular hallway in far back of the hallway. You must bring each of 
      back to the rude cog one at a time. Smack each with the frying pan, and 
    carry them
      back. Once all three cogs have been put on their dowels, jump on the large 
      platform in the middle of the tower. Run the direction that the arrow 
    points, and
      after a few turns the cogs will activate, and the bullfishes chain will be 
      into the closest that it can be. Now the catfish won't be afraid to come 
    close to
      their safe.
      4.4 - The Combination
      Go back to the place where the catfish are. After they know the threat is 
      they will ask you to lead them to the safe, where they will enter the 
      to the safe. After they unlock and open the safe, they want you to go 
      their money.
      4.5 - Blast Doors
      That pesky wad of cash doesn't seem to want to give itself up, so he jumps 
      the blast doors, and seals them. You have to unlock the doors and follow 
      Jump onto the context sensistive pad and shot the letters in front of you, 
      you spell out "OPEN" that's it simple as that. Watch for the Spike Mines, 
      will attack whenever you hit a wrong letter or if you miss three 
      times. Once you spell out the code, the blast doors will open. Jump down 
      the water, you will throw on a helmet with a flashlight and put in a 
      4.6 - Clang's Lair
      The key here is to work your way through the tunnels while avoiding the 
      Start by diving down and steering into the side coves whenever you need to 
      an enemy or get some more air. Once through this pipe follow the Clang 
    into the
      flashing green pipe he goes into. This pipe leads to another vertical 
    pipe. Go
      up and get some air. Dive down again and this time follow the Clang into 
      flashing blue pipe, go up and get some more air in the next tunnel. Grab 
    the lever
      in this area. Go back to the main pipe, and then swim through the flashing 
      pipe. You will come into the large vertical exit pipe, identical to the 
    pipe you
      entered this area from. Swim up through the pipe, going to the sides coves
      whenever you need air or to dodge the Clang. Finally surface in this new 
    area, and
      jump down into the hole in the floor.
      4.7 - Pisstastic
      Get ready for nothing but the best drunken pissing fun! That's right it's 
    time to
      load up on the beer and work your magic! Go over to the keg and press B. 
    After a
      heaping helping of some beer Conker is feeling pretty good, not to mention 
      Stumble yourself over towards the Fire Imps, and take aim. Simply press 
    the B
      button to start firing. If you press Z you get a further shooting stream 
    and more
      pressure. The point is to extinquish eight Fire Imps. If you don't succeed 
      first time, then walk the hungover Conker to the first aid kit and sober 
    up. Then
      head back once again for some more beer. Keep trying until all the imps 
    except the
      two are dead. They will jump into the boiler and fire it up. (Conker's a 
      4.8 - Brass Monkey's
      The two Fire Imps from the movie have comdered the boiler, and turned it 
    into a
      walking deathtrap. With the push of the big red button the boiler seems to 
      grown two brass balls (Don't Ask Don't Tell). In order to successfully win 
    you must
      lure the boiler over to one of the four corners. While it is there, you 
    must leap up
      and yank the lever above you, which let's loose a stream of poo water into 
    the boiler.
      The boiler will be momentarily paralyzed. While it is, run up to it and 
    press the B
      button. Conker will whip out two extremely painful looking bricks and..... 
    you guessed
      it.. smash those brass balls. (That's gotta hurt!) You must repeat this 
    for each of
      the four corners. After the fourth beating the brass balls will fall off 
    and the boiler
      will be no more. Roll one of the brass balls on to the switch opposite the 
    first aid kit
      (next to the sealed door). The door will open revealing a long hallway 
    with a Spike
      Mine in it. Take the over brass ball, and roll it into this hallway. A 
    cutscene will
      show it crushing the Spike Mine and continuing through the wall. Go 
    through the hole in
      the wall to get your reward, $10.
      4.9 - Bullfish's Revenge
      Now the catfish want their money back and the 10% they talked about is 
    only a measily
      dollar. Oh Boy! That deal doesn't cut it with Conker, so he tells them 
    he's taking it
      all. Meanwhile the bullfish is slowly ripping away his chains. Now it's 
    time to run
      away, and I mean fast. A good way to get through the water fast is to jump 
    out and
      tailspin as much as you can. As the bullfish follows you, jump over the 
    catfish that
      are scattered in the water. That will buy you some time. Keep doing this 
    until you
      make it back to the wooden dock. Then a cutscene very Jaws-esque will take 
    over. The
      bullfish is now smashed into the wall. Hop up on him and then to a 
    platform and there
      is $300 waiting there for you. Now that's a reward.
    5 - "Sloprano"
       5.1 - Corn off the Cob
       Enter Poo Mountain which you should have open back in "Chapter 2: Great 
    Balls of Poo".
       Upon entering the mountain look for the sweet corn. When you approach the 
    corn the
       Great Mighty Poo will command that you feed him sweet corn. Feed him the 
    first sweet
       corn, by hitting the corn with the frying pan, pick it up, and then throw 
    it into the
       central poo pit. Continue around the central pit and find more sweet corn 
       Throw them all into the middle as well.
       5.2 - Sweet Melody
       After you throw the last piece of sweet corn the giant monster emerges 
    from the central
       pit to show himself. This is probably one of the most fun (and most 
    disgusting!) boss
       fights in the entire game. The monster will sing a little and then he 
    will start throwing
       poo balls at you. Once he starts his attack you should find the nearest 
    Context Sensitive
       Pad and press B. You will bust out with the very suitable weapon of 
    toilet paper. You can
       use the toilet paper to destroy the incoming poo balls, and once he 
    begins opening his
       mouth throw the toilet paper into it. After he swallows a few rolls of 
    toilet paper he
       will sing a high note which will crack the glass that guards the flusher. 
    Continue to
       attack him with the toilet paper, until he let's out another high note 
    that shatters
       the glass. Head over to the flusher, collect the money, and pull the 
    flusher. He will be
       flushed down the hole he is in, and be gone once and for all.
       5.3 - U-Bend Blues
       Jump down the hole where the Great Mighty Poo was flushed, go through the 
    door that is on
       the platform just above the black hole. You will come into a circular 
    room with a pool of
       water in the middle, that leads down into a large tunnel with sharp 
    blades. (Believe me
       they are sharp) Your goal here is to make it through the three blades 
    without getting cut
       into itty-bitty squirrel pieces. The easiest way to get past this section 
    is to float over
       the air bubbles, and when a blade goes by you, the swim past it, and 
    repeat this for the
       last two blades. Then surface in the next section of tunnel. Climb the 
    rope in the center
       of the next tunnel, and jump off on the platform with the blades spinning 
    on it. Dodge the
       blades as you make your way over to the other rope. Climb this rope and 
    you will come out
       of the pipe, and you will find a huge lava pit and a few bridges.
       5.4 - The Bluff
       Cross the bridge and talk to the two weasles who are guarding the other 
    bridge. One of the
       weasles accuses Conker of being a squirrel. Conker busts out his mad game 
    and convinces the
       guard that he is actually a squirrel. He gives the two a bribe of $1000 
    and he is allowed
       to pass. This leads you to Chapter 6.
      6 - "Uga Buga"
       6.1 - Drunken Gits
       After passing the two guards you will come into a cavern with a large 
    building in
       the middle with raptors running around patrolling it's levels. Run past 
    the first
       two raptors on the lower level and make your way to the back of the 
    building. Go
       into the door, which will take you to the next upper level. Again dodge 
    the raptors,
       and then go into the door that takes you to the top level. Pick up the 
    wad of cash.
       Hop on to the statue in the middle and the lightbulb will appear. Press B 
    and you
       will be turned in to the anvil. Repeat this two more times and the statue 
    will fall
       through the building into a large underground cavern where the rest of 
    this chapter
       resides. Once you fall, hit the statue one more time with the anvil 
    attack. This will
       break open a wall allowing you to walk back and forth between the two 
    sides of the
       wall. Walk down to the Rock Solid nightclub, and roll the rock lying near 
    the entrance
       of the club. Roll it back towards the statue and push it through the cave 
    that you
       opened. It will automatically begin to roll down the slope. It will run 
    into a few
       Uga's and then break through a wall, revealing a large cavern behind it.
       6.2 - Sacrifice
       Go into this newly-opened cavern, and go down the right walkway, follow 
    the right
       path, and walk through the door. This leads you into an area with a very 
    large egg
       in it. Make your way to the egg. Stand on the monk's tablet and he will 
    throw you
       on top of the egg. Press the B button, and Conker will sit on the egg to 
    hatch it.
       What do you know a baby raptor... how cute! Guide the raptor around the 
       towards the Uga's. When the raptor is in range he will eat the Uga's, 
       along this path until you come to a door. Go through it, and you will 
    appear on the
       left side of the gigantic statue room again. Lead the raptor towards the 
    front of
       this statue, allowing him to eat as many Uga's as you car. Go stand on 
    the Context
       Sensitive pad and press the B button to activate the slingshot. Shoot the 
       with the arrow on it, which will raise the altar platform. Now guide the 
    raptor on
       to this platform. Go back to the Context Sensitive pad and press B. This 
    time shoot
       the button with the star on it. This will cause the altar to drop, 
    crushing the
       raptor, and appeasing the gods. Also the dragon statue will now be open.
       6.3 - Phlegm
       Go stand on the monk's tablet, and he will launch you on top of the 
    dragon statue.
       Go over the statues head and make your way to it's back, where you will 
    find a wad
       of cash. Return to the statues head and stop at its nostrils. Avoid the 
    gas that
       come out of them and jump down into them. Press the B button when you get 
       lightbulb and Conker will sprinkle some pepper into the nostril. Once 
    both nostrils
       have some pepper in them, the snot keeping you from entering the dragon's 
       will now be gone. Enter the dragon's mouth. In this area dodge the 
    swinging snot and
       make your way to the exit. You should come out on a ledge that is high 
    above a lava
       pit. You will find the dead Uga King. Instead of sobbing about it, steal 
    his hat,
       and the other Uga's will mistake you for one of their own.
       6.4 - Worship
       Once you return to the entrance of the dragon statue all the surrounding 
    Uga Buga's
       get down on their knees and bow down to you. Your first official duty 
    that you
       require of them is to take control of the rock situation near the Rock 
       nightclub. After all of the rocks have been taken care of, make your way 
    to the
       bouncer. Oddly enough this guy doesn't want a fight, so he will let you 
    in if you can
       tell him the password. Thankfully one of the Uga's already knows it!
       6.5 - Rock Solid
       Inside the club, make your way across the dancefloor. Take care to avoid 
       into any of the dancers. Find the rock that isn't moving on the opposite 
    side of
       the club. Roll it back up the incline towards the entrance. Then place it 
    on the
       switch to open the door below Berri. This is where the fun comes in. Go 
    back to
       where you found the first rock. Notice the keg? Well Conker does. Take 
    him there
       and help yourself to a big gulp of beer. Once Conker is feeling it, take 
       back to the dancefloor and find the rock dancing in the middle of the 
    floor. Aim
       your urine stream at him. Once you hit him he will roll up, now you must 
       him into the door that opened under Berri. Follow through the door. In 
    the next
       room, push the rock down the path, past the two dancers, and roll it too 
       switch. This will open the other two doors on the dancefloor. Again go 
    get some
       beer to restock your ammo. This time shoot the other two male dancers 
    that are
       close to the newly-opened doors. One of them will crash down on top of 
       cage causing it to break open, and her to run off. Grab the money that 
    was in
       her cage and head towards the entrance of the club. The bouncer will stop 
       and take you to see The Boss.
       6.6 - Bomb Run
       The Boss will request a little errand from you. He would like you to blow 
    up a
       certain location. He points out the path by flashing pictures on the 
       He wants you to take the bomb to where you found the Uga King. So take 
    the bomb,
       run down the path leading to the dragon cavern, enter the dragon's mouth. 
       through the inside of the dragon, and finally come out on the ledge with 
       Uga King then run the bomb to the end of the ledge where Conker will 
    throw it in.
       Once it explodes the lava will raise up to Conker's level. You must now 
       without falling victim to the lava. Simply leap from island to island 
    until you
       reach the exit.
       6.7 - Mugged
       Conker's money will be stolen once again by a gang of punks on some 
       After the cutscene, enter the door on your right, and you will come out 
       behind the left over hoverboard. Hope on it, and the race begins. Your 
    goal here
       is to knock all the other riders off their boards and to retrieve your 
       After a few laps around the course you will cath up with the boarders. 
    When you
       are close enough you can use your frying pan attack to knock them off and 
       back some of your money. Repeat this for the other two boarders. Be 
    careful on
       the last one because the course changes slightly. After you have knocked 
       all the boarders jump off the ramp at the end of the course. You will 
    have all
       your money back. Onward on the board.
       6.8 - Raptor Food
       The cutscene takes you into an arena you will jump off your board. You 
    must now
       fight for the entertainment of the Uga population. Walk over to one of 
    the Uga's
       in the arena with you. You will talk to them about what is going on, then 
       fun begins with the raptor being released into the arena. When you get 
       run to the Context Sensitive Pad and wait for the raptor to get close. 
       press B and the raptor will be hypnotized. Hop on his back and ride him. 
       towards the Uga in the arena. After you kill them all Buga will send in 
       men. Take care of them as well. More guys will be sent in again. After 
    this wave
       Buga himself will pick a fight with you and your trusty raptor.
       6.9 - Buga the Knut
       This can be a tough fight if you don't have the right timing. The key to 
       an attack on Buga is all about timing. When he raises his bone to hit you 
       until he is about to swing, and then bite him in the front. He will be 
       Now run behind him and bite his ass. A lovely gash will appear. Repeat 
    this a few
       times, then Buga's pants will be dropped for all to see what he really 
    has been
       hiding. After his embarassment he will run off and crash through a wall. 
    Go into
       the hole and you will come out next to Jugga. She will talk to you, and 
    place you
       on the ledge high above where you were standing. Walk through the door 
    and you
       will be on the ledge that was above where you first entered Chapter 6. 
    Across the
       cave is wad of cash pick it up. Return to the central area in the game. 
    You should
       have enough to talk to Mr. Barrel.
      7 - "Spooky"
       7.1 - Mr. Death
       As you enter this area of the game, the wall behind you closes keeping 
    you from
       going back. So press on through the area, and swim across to Gregg, the 
       Reaper is. He'll of course complain about something that pisses him off. 
       talking to Gregg, get back in the water and make your way into another 
       this leads to a switch that opens the front grate to the cemetry. Head 
    back to
       Gregg, and he will give you the shotgun. Use it to shoot 12 zombies in 
       cemetary. The only way they can be killed by a direct shot to the head. 
    Once you
       have killed the zombies Gregg will appear at the next set of doors, and 
    open them
       for you. Go through the door and make your way to the castle, avoiding 
       skeleton worms.
       7.2 - Count Batula
       After the cutscene Batula will have transformed you into a bat. Your 
    mission is
       to fly throughout the castle and/or garden and find seven villagers and 
       them to Batula. The villagers can be found in the Library, in the Front 
       and also in the Garden outside. In order to bring them to Batula you will 
       to crap on them and then fly down and pick them up. As you begin to bring 
       to Batula and drop them in the grinder he will begin to get heavier and 
       Once he has feasted on the seven villagers he will fall into the grinder, 
    and the
       house will fill with the undead zombies.
       7.3 - Zombies
       In this section you are to find the three keys which open the front door. 
       is a particular order in which to get the keys. The first key that you 
    want to
       get is hiding on a wooden plank above the Dining Room. You can get to 
    this part
       of the Dining Room by going back into the Grinder Room. As you walk into 
       Dining Room attic a zombie from left and right will attack you. Proceed 
       to the Context Sensitive Pad. You will have to shoot down three bats in 
    front of
       you with the slingshot. Once they are dead, carefully make your way to 
    the far
       end of the room, and grab the key. Now you must return the key to the 
    front door.
       This is easiest if you can dispose the enemies in your path before you 
    have the
       key in your hands. If you drop the key you must return and pick it up 
    again where
       you first got it. Once you get the key back to the door and walkway will 
       you another way to get to the Garden. Go there now. The second key is 
    hiding in
       the center of the Garden maze. There are two zombies standing close to 
    the key and
       then a few more are patrolling the maze itself. Grab the key and then 
    take it back
       to the front door as well. Once this key has been turned a ladder raises 
    in the
       Grinder Room. Make your way there to find the final key. Before you get 
    off the
       ladder turn to your right and jump to the platform extending from the 
    wall. Jump to
       the next platform as well and pull the lever. This activates an elevator 
       you to get down with the key. Now goto the left of the ladder and jump 
    across the
       gap to get the key, then take the elevator down. Finally take this last 
    key to the
       front door to unlock and open it. Now it's time to escape.
       7.4 - Mr. Barrel
       Find Mr. Barrel hiding behind a column next to the front door. He will 
    offer you a
       ride. Accept it and roll your way out the front door. Now you have to 
    steer with
       the control stick down the winding path to get to the front gate. Once 
    you have
       made it there you task is to get on the barrel and drop into the water 
    with it.
       Ride the log up the incline in the area where you met Mr. Death and then 
       through the cave. If you notice you go back to where you started the game 
    and you
       recieve $100. Make your way back to the door where the gargoyle used to 
      8 - "It's War"
       8.1 - It's War
       As you approach the door to the main area in the game you get a long 
       telling you to join the Army. After the movie make your way towards the 
       honeycomb. Jump over the barbed wire on the way and enter the now open 
       (Welcome to the war!)
       8.2 - Power's Off
       Once you enter the naval base a friendly is shot down in his plane, and 
       crashes into the water blocking ships from leaving. The General gives you
       your first mission: to clear the way for the ships. In order to do this 
       need to accomplish two objectives: 1) Get the power back online and 2) 
       TNT charges under each win. Jump into the water and find the electric 
       Now you must lure him under the three power coils that are connected to 
       central pillar in the water. Once all three power coils are charged the 
       gets fried. Get out of the water and got the ramp next to the entrance to
       the naval base.
       8.3 - TNT
       Once up the ramp next to the entrance, make your way towards the 
       After the cutscene help up the guy with his TNT barrel. You need to take 
       barrel to each side of the plane. Before you push the guy down the ramp 
       sure you have a metal crate in his way or else he will fall off the edge 
       the platform and roll into the water. Once he has made it down the ramp 
       left and guide him and the TNT through the jumping boxes that are around 
       This really isn't that hard so just go slow and time your movements 
       Once you are past them all push him towards the plane and he will stop at 
       edge of the platform next to the plane. Now for the otherside. Take 
       TNT barrel to the right this time. On this side of the level there are 
       hidden beneath the dirt. If you get close they will appear and if you get
       closer still they will detonate. Guide him through these mines and get 
    him to
       the other side of the plane. The order of the mines is: two on left, two 
       right, one on left, one on right, one on left, and finally one on right.
       Carefully make your way through this minefield. Once the TNT barrel and 
    the guy
       have taken his seat proceed to the center of the map where the pier is. 
       on the Context Sensitive Pad and pull out the slingshot. Aim your shots 
    to hit
       the TNT barrel. If successful you will blow up the plane so that ships 
    can now
       pass. (Good Job Soldier!)
       8.4 - The Assault
       After getting smacked in the head, Conker wakes up to find himself in a 
       with a few other soldiers. Just as Conker askes what is going on, the 
       scene from Saving Private Ryan get's reinacted RARE style. This scene is 
       so perfectly. Once Conker has control again, make your way up the beach, 
       behind the metal jacks when you are fired upon. When ready make your to 
    the next
       jack and wait for your next run. Keep following your teammates and the 
       jacks that cover the beach. After passing the last jack dive into the 
       where a fellow soldier is hiding.  Once you have talked to the other 
    soldier you
       take his cigar and UZI's. Shoot the lock off the door. (Into the darkness 
    you go)
       8.5 - Sole Survivor
       Here begins your quest against the entrie Tedi Army. Right off in this 
    first room
       you are surprised by four Tediz. This is easiest if you stand your ground 
    and just
       use First-Person Mode to take out the Tediz. After these guys are taken 
    out the
       large red doors will open in front of you. This next corridor is filled 
    with Tediz.
       I'm not going to sit here and tell you every strategy to get through 
    here. All I
       will say is to be cautious. Go slow and look around every corner before 
    you run
       into it.
       8.6 - Casualties Dept.
       The medical doctor Tediz wage war on you with their torture tools. Use 
    the same
       technique you did fighting off the original Tediz in the first room. 
    There are
       a total of eight doctors which you must fight off. After they are all 
       run over and free the soldier strapped into the electric chair. It does 
       matter which switch you pull, either one will electricute him. Pull the 
       switch after the first, which will open the door. Once you go through the 
       you will be facing a Tedi armed with a huge turret gun. The trick to this 
       hide until he is reloading and then run to the rope which is hanging 
    behind him.
       Get onto the ledge at the top of the rop and follow the boxes around 
    until you
       have a lightbulb above you. Press the B button and you will equip a 
       launcher. Shoot the Tedi away from his turret and take his place. Now you 
       the classic arcade shooter. Take aim with the turret and shoot the waves 
    of Tediz.
       Once all of the Tediz have been disposed of the door on the right will 
       Take it.
       8.7 - Saving Private Rodent
       The next area you walk into is a firing range where Private Rodent is 
    about to
       get capped by three Tediz. Thankfully he has bullet-proof armor that will 
       him safe. You must eliminate all the Tediz in the room and free Private 
       After he is free you two must make your way down the canyon to the front 
       Along the way you will encounter bombs from the sky and also spider 
       Simply dodge the shadow the bomb makes. However, whenever a spider mine 
       jump behind Rodent and wait for the spider mine to blow up. Continue this 
       you reach the point where Rodent goes and stands by the two large doors 
       front of you. Now jump into the life raft in the water and press the B 
       You will equip the rocket launcher. You must shoot of the four locks on 
    the door,
       while avoid the Tediz parachuters and their gunfire. After all the locks 
       broken, run into the open doorway.
       8.8 - Chemical Warfare
       Start by jumping into the tank, and shoot the wall the is directly in 
    front of
       you. Now go into this open section of wall. Go down the ladder and jump 
       the radioactive acid pit. Once you do a spider mine will raise and start 
       charge towards you. To avoid the mine, jump back to the other side of the 
       pit. Once it is safe progress a little. Repeat this technique for the 
       acid pits that you must cross. After all three are safe, pull down the 
       This will trigger the acid to raise up and will also open the large doors 
       to the tank, outside. Run out of this tunnel before you get trappede with 
       acid. Exit the room and go back outside.
       8.9 - The Tower
       Once again jump into the tank, and drive towards the tower in the open 
       In this area you must destroy the tower that is in the center of this 
       The first thing to remember in this area is to NOT be spotted by the 
       spotlights. When you are clear, exit the tank, and jump across the gap 
       is between you and the first drawbridge. When you land on the other side 
       few Tediz will emerge and try and attack you. Dispose of them, and go 
       to the drawbridge. Climb the bridge and at the top press the B button. 
       will turn into the anvil again, and smash the bridge down. Hop back in 
       tank and drive your way over to the second bridge. On your way there aim
       the tank turret at the post that is propping the tower up. Repeat this 
       each of the drawbridges: jump over the gap, drop the bridge, and kill the
       Tediz, and destroy the posts holding up the tower. Once the four posts
       have been destroyed the tower will collapse and create a large hole in
       the mountain that you can jump through. Go through the hole.
       8.10 - Little Girl
       You will land on a large metal platform surrounded by water. In the 
       of this platform is a little girl. You can talk to the girl if you want,
       or you can just go for your mission at hand. Go to one of the three metal
       pillars in the area. Walk out on to the ledge and press the B button on
       the ledge. You will equip the rocket launcher. Your job is too shoot the
       submarines in the water, and also the missiles that they shoot into the
       air. After you have destroy them all at one pillar, go to the second.
       Do the same thing here, and again at the third one. You must destroy
       three at the first pillar, four at the second, and seven at the last one.
       8.11 - The Experiment
       After you had destroyed the subs, go talk to the little girl. In no time
       you will learn that the little girl is not a girl at all. In fact it is
       some sort of demon possessed puppet (a la Chucky). A giant Tedi will
       reveal that it is actual the puppetteer. When the fight starts jump into
       the tank with Rodent. The strategy for this boss is as follows:
        1-Destroy each weapon on his sides with the tank turret.
        2-Shoot the puppet off the Tediz arm.
        3-When he goes to pick it up. Shoot a missile into his back.
       You should repeat this until you have hit the bear three times. After
       the third time, two spider mines will blow up your tank, the Tedi will
       be destroyed, and the girl puppet will push a self destruct button.
       In 4:30 time the Tedi Fortress will blow up, sky-high.
       8.12 - Countdown
       Jump into the hole in front of you, you will be in the hallway that you 
       entered from the storage room. Now there are more laser mines this time, 
       when you entered. There are six sets of laser mines that you must pass 
       to get back into the storage room. Here are the strategies that I used:
        1-Go on to the far left wall and tailspin through the lasers.
        2-Crawl through the middle of the lasers.
        3-Line it up so you can just jump between two of the vertical mines.
        4-Jump over the box, and then tailspin the rest of the way.
        5-Jump on the box and then crawl through the lasers.
        6-Go on the far left wall, and you can tailspin through the lasers.
        7-Crawl under the lasers.
       Be sure to watch out for Tediz during this whole sequence. When you make 
       back to the storage room lasers will block the exit door. Now you must 
       off yet another set of Tediz. Use the same strategy as when you first 
       the storage room. Using first-person take out the Tediz. Once the Tediz 
       gone the lasers will be deactivated. Exit the room. Now you have to make 
       back to the boat. I think this is the hardest part in the game, but my 
       happened to BS his way through it in one try. As you start your way back 
       the boats rocket launcher toting Tediz will be all over the beach. Be 
       and use every second you have to take out the Tediz. When you turn the 
       the first Tedi will be there; shoot him before he gets in range. Go to 
       edge of the razor wire, and turn to your right. In the corner is another 
       Turn around towards the wire and strafe around the wire, and look down 
       beach. Shoot the Tedi in the distance before he does you. Turn to your 
       and shoot the Tedi hiding behind the metal jack. Now run down the hill 
       hid behind the last metal jack. Three more Tediz will appear. You can 
       them one by one, and then run for the boat. Congratulations you kick ass 
       you beat this the "non-sis" way.
       8.13 - Peace At Last
       Well against all odds you made it soldier. The General is proud of you. 
    Look up
       in the sky: it's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Rodent!
      9 - "Heist"
       9.1 - The Windmill's Dead
       Make your way towards the windmill entrance. There will be no worms or 
       enemies so don't worry about getting hurt. After the cutscene, drop down 
       the hole, and walk through the cave. You will come out on the opposite 
    side of
       the canyon and impassable bridge. Walk to the front of the building to 
    meet The
       Boss and Berri are waiting for you. The Boss has one more errand for you 
    to run,
       he wants you to rob the Feral Reserve Bank. You agree only on the 
    condition that
       you get a costume as cool as Berri's. Get ready for theft at it's best - 
       9.2 - Enter the Vertex
       Well there isn't a lot to say about this level, except for the fact that 
    it rocks.
       The intro cutscene is awesome, and once you have control you progress 
    though the
       lobby. Take cover behind the stone columns. When the guards run out into 
    the open
       press the Context Sensitive button, and you will leap into action in the 
       made famous in The Matrix. All you have to control is the crosshairs and 
       everything else is taken care of. After you dispose of the guards the 
    laser grid
       will change to the next section. Continue until you reach the elevator on 
    the far
       side of the lobby.
       9.3 - The Vault
       Start by collect a few stacks of money. After a couple, it will cut away 
    and will
       come back with all the money retrieved. Then the final showdown begins. 
    After a
       long cutscene you will once again have control. Start by pulling the 
    large airlock
       switch located close to the throne. Once you have pulled the lever 
    everything in
       the room will be pulled out into space except you and the alien. Run into 
    the room
       with the yellow space suite and equip it. Now you get to fight alien to 
    robot. The
       key here is to avoid and then get in your combo punch. The alien has to 
       attacks. First, he likes to do a tailspin that knocks Conker down. You 
    can easily
       avoid this by using the robots jetpack to move out of the way (B button). 
       the alien likes to headbutt Conker. Just wait for the alien to backup and 
    before he
       charges and hits you move out of the way. Now take the offense. Hit the 
    alien for
       times with your robot, this will knock the alien down to the floor. Grab 
    his tail
       and begin to spin the alien by rotating the control stick. Once the alien 
    is spinning
       fast, time it so that you can release and throw him into the airlock. The 
    alien will
       catch the door and jump back into the room. Repeat two more times to get 
    the alien to
       finally miss the door and fly out into space. You're done! Congrats.
       9.4 - End Credits
       Kick back, relax, and join Conker in a drink.

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