Review by Baradur

"Finally, Something More Boring Than Me"

I only find Pilotwings 64 useful when I'm feeling like I have too much energy. Trust me, playing Pilotwings for 1 minute at the least is enough to put a person who has been chugging coffee for two weeks straight right to sleep. I believe this boring pile of excrement came out for the Nintendo 64 in September 1996, and apparently it was considered boring back then too.

Gameplay 2/10: The control in this game is downright horrible. The characters move way too slowly for my comfort. There was very little challenge in the game also. If you can stay awake, you shouldn't have much trouble with this game.

Story 1/10: WHAT STORY??? All you do is fly hangliders,helicopters, and jetpacks. How do you make a story out of that? This is a completely pointless game.

Graphics 3/10: Awful when compared to the Gamecube or PS2, but they were pretty good when Pilotwings 64 came out. Seeing that this was an early Nintendo 64 title, you can't expect too much in the graphics department. The characters are drawn out pretty well, at least well enough for you to be able to distinguish them from one another.

Sound 2/10: There were very few sound effects in this game, and the only sound effect that is done pretty well is the wind. All the others are totally dreadful. The music was way too calm for my tastes, and just made the game seem more boring than it already was (I know that is hard to believe, but it's true). I think there were only 4 or 5 tracks in the entire game. And that is not good.

Play Time/Replayability 1/10: Only HARDCORE Pilotwings fans (which I think there are only 9 of in the world) would care to play this game from start to finish. The average person would quickly tire of this game after 6 or 7 minutes, then throw the cartridge into a vat of acid, ridding the world of the boring garbage that is Pilotwings 64. As for replayability, no one in their right mind would even THINK of playing this game twice.

There you have it, my review of the one thing that will put you to sleep faster than all the vadca in the world. Pilotwings 64. Take my advice, if you want a REAL game, you should get an Atari 2600 and a copy of the legendary title Kool-Aid Man.

Reviewer's Rating:   1.0 - Terrible

Originally Posted: 03/09/03, Updated 03/09/03

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