Review by GreenShyguy04
"There should be a rally to destroy this game"
I haven't played any other South Park game besides this one, but judging the reviews, I haven't really missed much. If they are anywhere as bad as this game, thank goodness I haven't sampled their awfulness. Outside of the toilet humor, nothing in this game works. Naturally, this means once the novelty wears off, you're left with a horrible game.
For starters, the game is way too hard. Until you can win a race, and by win I mean finish first place, you will not progress to the next track. Second or third isn't going to cut it this time. Dumb. Think about all the other racers you have played. Now think about how much fun they would be if you were stuck on the first track until you finished first.
Not only that, but in order to finish first, even on the early tracks, you have to race absolutely perfectly. One small mistake and you're instantly behind. And once you fall behind, it's nearly impossible to catch up, as your computer opponents never seem to slip up. This makes the races where you have to grab an item (Few races are of the conventional variety. Most involve either grabbing an item and evading other cars, or using a certain item to shoot at other racers.) based on luck as much as skill, as when one computer drops an item, the rest of the pack will be there on top of it like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat. You just have to hope you are in the right spot at the right time to nab the item.
Most tracks are non linear, with plenty of paths and twists and turns. While this sounds good on paper, it's executed very poorly. First of all, the levels are designed poorly. The game gives you a map, but unless you're a freaking first class navigator for NASA or something, the map will more likely confuse you than help you. Prepare to get lost, run into dead ends, while the computer players zoom out about 50 miles ahead of you, making a comeback impossible. Races are virtually impossible to finish on your first try. I'm sorry, but this is not good game play at all. The challenge should be due to skill, not because the tracks are impossible to navigate until you've run them about half a dozen times.
To be honest, I haven't made it that far into the game. I only made it to the race where you have to grab a pair of underwear and cross the finish line with said pair in your possession. This is only about the fourth or fifth race, but it's in a realm beyond impossible. Seconds after the race starts, your computer opponents will grab the two or three sets of underwear (There are not enough pairs for every racer), and zoom out about 10 miles ahead of you, while you are trying to navigate the once again confusing course, and the map is once again completely useless. By the time I got here, I was wore out because the few races prior took several tries to finally beat. At this juncture, I had enough. I figured I had wasted enough precious hours playing a terribly designed game, that's only fun for the first few minutes until all the fart jokes wear out.
So if you haven't figured it out by now, avoid this game. Even if you like the show, avoid this game. If you're after fart jokes, you can get that by watching the show, and you won't have to put up with poorly designed, frustrating game play.
Reviewer's Rating: 1.0 - Terrible
Originally Posted: 04/10/06
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