Review by MagnaZeroX
"Wow... You REALLY do lose."
I still remember playing this ungodly piece of garbage in an emulator not long ago.To this day, it still profounds me on how something this bad made it to the assembly line.
Hey look, youre flying in space! Should your head explode or something? Anyways, the sprites look like drunken little SoB's on a rampage. About the only decent Signs of graphic life is the different kinds of terrain(trees,Rocks,Square shaped rivers), which still suck, and im barely giving this a score of 1 because of that.
Well, all you have to do is move up,down,side-to-side, and battle little drunken mobs with your drunk ninja. Seems simple enough, im getting to it. You can somehow find units to help you on trees(wtf?), which some are needed to kill rivers(the big guys do that, to save the skinny dudes). That took me about 10 game overs before i figured that out. The mian problem here is that I have no idea how to properly control the little bastards, say i just want to use my skinny guys and fat guys in an attempt to attack and die horribly, but they only let me do that as only 1 of the types. Confused? play the game and youll see what i mean. Whait a minute, dont play the game, just dont!
yes, -8. This is BEYOND crap. I noticed on how useless my people were( as they died almost every attack) and the fact that once I already lost on my first attack on someone, that all battles were basically random. Adding to the fact that you just move to 1 side of the screen all the time was dumb, just dumb. Although it was nice that you units get promoted is the manage to win a few battles(which is rare, very,very,very,very rare). I really dont know what happens if you reach the end of you long crappy battle, but you might fight that big bastard that comes up on the game over screen.
2 words: What story? What exactly are you supposed to do? I dont know. Probably beat big blue guys behind.
Well because of the anoying music(see music section) I basically never did hear sounds, except for those battles, which by the way, sounded, sounded........ hell i dont know what that was supposed to be.
It gets a 1 because it has music, and it blows serious chunks. Once i heard the opening music(da da da da daaaa, da daa der duh daaaaa) I knew I was in for a fright. Hearing the in-game music(im not going to put up the music ''daa'''s) and the infamous game over screen music, i knew, without a doubt, this game really is crap. Its that scary.
About the only good thing about this game is the ''WOW! YOU LOSE!'' screen, which is pretty amusing.
so to sum it up
Overall:-.166666666666666666 etc.---->1 because of the rules.
Buy or rent?
Dont, just dont.either, just dont. Unless you collect garbage, then this is for you.
Reviewer's Rating: 0.5 - Unplayable
Originally Posted: 01/13/03, Updated 01/13/03
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