Review by Revegelance

"Why does this game exist???"

Well, well, well. Here we have a game that is of the same genre of games such as Dragon's Lair and Space Ace. In fact, this game comes with visual demos of Dragon's Lair I, II and Space Ace, and that's the best thing about this game. I've never actually played Dragon's Lair, but from what I've read/heard I do imagine that it's a pretty good game. This is not the case, however, with BrainDead 13.

Gameplay: 1/10
One of the quotes on the back of the box says ''...breathtaking animation so interactive, you'll live the adventure!...'' This is wrong. This game is barely interactive. Not only can you not tell when you are supposed to do something, but when you can do something, you have a period of about 1/100 of a second to do the exact right thing before Fritz slashes you to pieces, fries your head, knocks out your skull with a hammer, rips you apart from the inside out, or one of many other death animations you're sure to experience thousands of times if you actually have the patience to play this game for more than 5 minutes. Sorry about the run-on sentence, but I think you get the point. There are even times when you will die and start in a place where it's seemingly impossible to do anything before you die again. Speaking of death, well, although you do have infinite lives, you will still seemingly need infinite continues, and the 2 back-to-life animations are annoying, long, and you can't skip them.Anyway, on to...

Graphics: 9/10
The graphics and animation in this game are very good, and this is the quality that fooled me into getting this game (luckily I got it for free, but that's a different story). The game consists of excellent Don Bluth-style animation, and would probably make a decent movie/TV show.

Sound: 5/10
I would have rated this higher, but the music drowns out the voices so that you can barely hear it, and you can't change it. Also, it's impossible to understand what the heck Dr. Neurosis is saying.

Story: 4/10
I might have rated this higher, too, if the music didn't drown out the voices, making it hard to tell what's going on. Anyway, the main character, Lance, is a computer repairman who tries to be cool but fails miserably, and he can't get out of the simplest situation even if he experiences it 23,951.6 times. Anyway, he is repairing Dr. Neurosis' computer for some reason when Lance mocks him for some reason, and then the Doctor tells Fritz to kill him for some reason, and so he must run away, only to die billions of times in hundreds of different ways.

Control: -3/10
What? You actually have some control of what happens in this game? Why didn't somebody tell me about this before I was maimed, mutilated, obliterated and castrated an infinite number of times? (NOTE: As far as I know, you don't actually get castrated in the game. I just said that for comedic effect.)

Overall: 2/10
3 words: This game SUCKS. Even though I got it for free, it was still a rip off.

Reviewer's Rating:   1.0 - Terrible

Originally Posted: 07/28/01, Updated 07/28/01

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