Review by Whiskey in the Jar

Reviewed: 07/08/03 | Updated: 07/08/03

I'm pretty sure that this game deserves a six. Yep.

First off, you should probably know that this is the first MMORPG I have played.

Ever since the first screenshots of this game were released on the official site, I have been saying to everyone that this game is going to be indeed, the best game ever. I now know that it is anything but.

The character creation tool has so far been the most exciting part of the game for me. With it, you pick between eight species, each with their own advantages and disadvantages. You then mess around with their faces and body fat so they can be as fugly as you want them to be. Finally, you pick between six basic, predictable professions. Honestly, after a few days of playing this game with an artisan (the item-building profession), I went back to this thing and created a bunch of characters just for the hell of it. On a scale of 1-10, I'd rate the character creation tool Neat/10.

The gameplay and HUD are easy to get used to, and the tutorial does a very good job of explaining what the crap is going on.

As is probably expected, the two fighting professions (marksmen and brawlers) are the most entertaining of all of them. I would definitely rate the 'killing stuff' fun factor in this game an Awesome/10. If you're a marksman, I suggest you take up running while shooting, because it's wicked fun.

Creating items is mildly entertaining at the beginning of your career, but as you start to gain levels, you realize that you're going to have to start building a lot of f'n muzzles and scopes to get where you want to be. Unless you're minoring in a fighting profession, getting resources could become an even bigger pain in the ass, as you will often be required to venture out into the wilderness where many creatures are more than willing to start eating your face when they see you.

The last two professions, medics and entertainers, are just damn plain boring. Medics have to survey for water, and other such essential ingredients to make their stimpacks to heal others. They heal three different major status bars, which break down into three each, for a grand total of nine friggin' status bars. I know you're probably thinking right now ''Well WitJ, wtf are you talking about? This sounds incredibly fun and I have a brain hemorrhage.'', and you may be right because the career I'm about to describe to you is probably the worst idea in any game ever.

Entertainers dance and sing to heal others' battle fatigue (a number that when high, hurts your healing factor). They can sometimes throw in a flourish like doing a high kick, or snapping their fingers. They do these things at theaters or cantinas. Yes, that is it for them. If you are an entertainer, I pity your soul. That is unless of course you are minoring in a fighting profession, because then you can kick ass on the battlefield, and then heal your buddies when they're down for the count. Medics are still more useful on the field though.

Graphics are boatiful. I say boatiful because they are beyond beautiful, and boats are pretty neat. But, if you're like most everyone else and you have a medium-end computer, you're going to have to literally set all the graphics to low because there is currently a hujungous bug that likes to take craps on your framerate when you're in cities. I could go off on a tangent on how horrible this bug is, but I figure that saying it's awful is a good enough description.

Sound effects are pretty. Although there aren't many, they are pretty. I mean, there's the laser guns...and the creature groans...and the sexy tutorial girl's voice...but that's just about it. The music, although few and far between, is nice. It makes you feel like you're Darth Vader. Which is actually quite unfortunate especially if you're trying to get good with the rebels.

Drilled into your mind by the SWG dev team is the advice that you should adventure with other people. I'd like to make it known that this shouldn't be advice, it should be law, because this game is BORING x4 when you're playing by yourself. Not to mention the fact that even the most basic destroy missions can have you being pwned pretty quick because even little bunny monsters can gang up on you and gnaw you to death.

As of now, there is no underlying story. The closest thing to a story is you being able to choose whether you want to become a rebel or an imperial. There are also other factions like Thug, and Townsperson. If you kill a thug, you'll lose points from their faction and gain them for the townperson one. I assumed that said townspeople would help you out if you were ever were to come under attack by a thug, but so far I have been pwned by numerous thugs whilst the townspeople just stand there looking stupid.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, the game isn't that terribly fun. XP needed to gain levels in all professions is outrageously high (although I'm told not as high as other MMORPGS), and the missions get old real quick. The only Jedi I've seen are Dark NPC ones, and apparently they cannot be destroyed with a party that numbers less than 67.

I suggest you give the free month a shot, and see how you like it. I mean, I'm staying subscribed to the game a little while longer because I really enjoy the /dance command. You may have a different opinion.

If you think I'm an idiot, I can be reached on Ahazi as Fenrus, Intrepid as Witjay, and Sunrunner as Erasmus.

Which brings me to my final topic, do not under any circumstances create your character for the server/galaxy ''Starsider'', as it is apparently the worst ever.

Thx and g'night.

Rating:   3.0 - Fair

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