Review by Zorlond

"An entertaining (if very short-lived) diversion"

I grabbed this game off the shelf simply out of curiosity. It seemed like a game influenced by the classic Liesure Suit Larry series, and what the hey, I kinda like computer-rendered women wearing very little.

Okay, the basic story is this: A catalog for women's undergarments ends up going -very- off-track, and into the mailbox of three very strange, very lonely aliens. Personally, I doubt aliens this ugly would think of human females as being beautiful, but that would pretty much invalidate the game concept. After considerable time and perusal, the three realize that the catalog is getting rather... uh... sticky. So, in the interest of their hormones, they pack up their gear and track down the catalog's source. Earth.

Upon arrival, they kidnap the first shmuck they can get their hands on (a guy by the name of Nelson), toss a camera at him, and tell him he's got to shoot three specific models in specific sets of underwear, or the whole Earth goes kaboom. Big flaw. They destroy Earth, they kill all the models they've gone there to see... But in any case they drop Nelson off on Model Isle and give him about 12 minutes to comply.

Besides the gaps of logic in the story that you can drive a Winnebago through, the gameplay is pretty rote. You pick one of three areas to look around, lay out some bait (Gold Mastercards, Tic-Tacs, mirrors, etc), shout a catchy phrase (There's a party in my pants, and everyone's invited!), and wait. Eventually, a model will drop by, and you get to check what she has on underneath her proper attire with X-ray goggles. Find the right model in the right outfit (don't worry, the aliens will shout confirmation at you if you do find a match), and then you start skeet-shooting with Goop to melt off her clothes while the model runs around. Three hits, then yank out your camera, do some more skeet-shooting 'cause she refuses to sit still, and boom, you have a picture. Then move onto another area.

Bored yet? Well, how about the fact that you can't really move around, just spin in place looking for the models to show up? How about Cheech and Chong shouting at you for every wrong model you check out? The very flat and uninspired terrain? The old woman who keeps cursing every 20 seconds or so? The dead-head who keeps getting in your face? Not to mention the fact that the game will be over, win or loose, in about 12 minutes?

This has got to be one of the shortest-lived games I've ever run across. The pictures of the models are quite nice, but you don't get any real time to look at them, as the aliens are expecting results NOW. I was ready to send it to the dust-pile before the first play-through was over. At best, it's something a little different. At worst, it's uninteresting, uninspiring, un-everything. Leave it alone unless your attention span is very short.

Or unless you haven't been on a date in a decade.

Reviewer's Rating:   2.0 - Poor

Originally Posted: 06/04/00, Updated 06/04/00

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