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    Assault/Onslaught Guide by Irenic Apollyon

    Version: 1.97 | Updated: 05/10/04 | Search Guide | Bookmark Guide

    Unreal Tournament 2004 v1.97
    Assault/Onslaught Tips and Hints
    by Nuruljihad Nasruddin (Irenic Apollyon) - irenicapollyon@hotmail.com
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                             [Assault/Onslaught FAQ]
    This FAQ is only permitted to be displayed at the following sites:
    GAMEFAQs    - http://www.gamefaqs.com
    Neoseeker   - http://www.neoseeker.com
    If you find this FAQ published at a website that isn't on the list above, I
    urge you to contact me at: irenicapollyon@hotmail.com
        Table of Contents                     Most Recent Revisions
       .---------------------------------.   .----------------------------------.
       |  1.0   Information              |   |   v1.97 - Completely revamped    |
       |   1.1  Introduction             |   |           the FAQ.               |
       |   1.2  Series History           |   |                                  |
       |   1.3  Credits                  |   |                                  |
       |                                 |   |   v0.97 - More info submitted to |
       |  2.0   Gametype Descriptions    |   |           me has been added.     |
       |   2.1  Weapons                  |   |           Added to Credits.      |
       |   2.2  Vehicles                 |   |                                  |
       |                                 |   |   v0.95 - Info submitted to me   | 
       |  3.0   The AS Guide             |   |____.      has been...       .____|
       |   3.1  Gametype Basics          |        |\______________________/|
       |   3.2  ATTACKERS Strategy       |        |       ROBOTHRASH       |
       |     a. Weapons Usage            |        |   "Kill all babies!"   |
       |   3.3  DEFENDERS Strategy       |        .------------------------.
       |     a. Weapons Usage            |
       |     b. Guard Placement          |
       |                                 |
       |  4.0   The ONS Guide            |
       |   4.1  Gametype Basics          |
       |   4.2  Offense Strategy         |
       |     a. Vehicle Usage            |
       |     b. Weapons Usage            |
       |   4.3  Defense Strategy         |
       |     a. Vehicle Usage            |
       |     b. Weapons Usage            |
       |     c. Anti-Vehicle Tactics     |
       |     d. Anti-Personnel Tactics   |
       |                                 |
       |  5.0 Conclusion                 |
       |   5.1 Complete Revision History |
      This may be not be reproduced under any circumstances except for personal,
      private use. It may not be placed on any web site or otherwise distributed
      publicly without advance written permission. Use of this guide on any other
      web site or as a part of any public display is strictly prohibited, and a
      violation of copyright.
    > (1.0) INFORMATION
    The following FAQ was written to aid anybody looking for hints and tips with
    the most team-oriented gameplay modes found in Epic's Unreal Tournament 2004.
    I didn't find it necessary to include tips for the other two team-based game
    modes -- Bombing Run and Double Domination -- since they aren't as popular
    amongst gamers. However, most of the strategies here are applicable to both
    modes though they may require some individual tweaking on the part of the
    player. With that said, here we go!
    **NOTE**                                                              **NOTE**
      This is my first full FAQ so tips and hints are greatly appreciated! I'm
      also very willing to accept FAQ contributions as a result of my newbiedom
      but I don't accept bullshit.
    **NOTE**                                                              **NOTE**
    My full review of this title can be found at:
    The FAQ is split into several sections and subsections. 
    When you see this: ¯¯
                       That means it is the first of whole intervals
                                                     (Sections 1.0,2.0, 3.0, etc.)
    When you see this:"--"
                       That means it is the one of the sub-sections
                                           (Sub-Sections 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, etc.)
    When you see this:"++"
                       That means it is a sub-sub-section, instead of numbers
                       they are merely letters.
                                   (Sub-Sub-Sections 3.3a, 4.2b, 4.2c, 4.2d, etc.)
    When you see this:"~~"
                       It is merely a separator to split two different subjects
                       that fall under a single section.
    If you wish to skip some sections, press CTRL+F to bring up the Find bar.
    Write the section number you want to skip to and press ENTER.
    >> (1.1) INTRODUCTION
    One day, I was browsing GAMEFAQs.com on the internet in the computer in my
    room at my house when I decided: "Hey, let's look for UT2K4 Onslaught tips!"
    Needless to say, I was amply excited by the prospect of becoming the most
    butt-kicking ninja gamer in the history of ninja gamers. However, once I
    clicked the link to find the FAQs, lo and behold there were none! Well I
    wasn't just gonna sit on my ass like you and let this atrocity pass. I was
    like: "I'm gonna kick somebody's ass."
    Then I randomly pummeled a man on the street outside my window. I went so far
    with the beating (that's how passionate I am about this game) that I am now a
    registered sex offender.
    After that I came looking for you, but your Mom was at the door and said that
    you were at your Dad's house for the weekend. Damn.
    I returned to my computer to find the problem hadn't been solved. What was I
    doing wrong? One person was in the hospital and you were a victim pending and
    yet there were still no FAQs to satisfy the ninja gamer within.
    Then it hit me: "I'll make the ass-kickiest, most 133t R0xX0rZ Onslaught FAQ
                     in the history of UT2K4!"
    And just as I said, it became so. Because I'm like God, only without the power
    to do stuff. Except I can touch my nose with my tongue.
                                   Now THAT's power.
    Little by little, my ideas and the most sought after FAQ ever came together.
    You panted in anticipation as you peeked over my shoulder at the computer
    screen. And then Mom told me to take you for a walk. So I did.
                         But first I kicked you in your pee pee.
    As time passed by (it's been like two weeks now) I added bits and pieces to
    this FAQ and it's only now that I can look at it from your eyes and go:
    "Now I know what I was put on this planet for. And it isn't to screw Paris
     Hilton. Not anymore."
                          That's me in the video by the way.
    Kablam! Now I'm a celebrity and everyone wants a piece of me. Since you'll
    never ever meet me or have the opportunity to kiss my feet in person, you can
    do it by sending me fan mail (contact info at the end of FAQ) or reading this
    FAQ. Now go fetch my some grapes, wench.
    >> (1.2) SERIES HISTORY
    Unreal Tournament -- which was first released in November, 1999 though it
    would spawn a re-releases of itself (GOTY Edition) in 2000 -- created a buzz
    in the industry when it released around the same time as the hyped up Quake 3.
    At the time Quake, id Software's premier title, which was a necessary staple
    in any gamer's diet, was the unstoppable giant of the genre.  The controversy
    naturally spurred debates and gamers chose sides (I actually bought both
    games, though I eventually sided with the UT crowd), thus creating two
    parties of hardcore fans.  When numerous gaming magazines, as well as online
    game reviewers, made the decision to publicly compare the two titles the
    astounding differences between the two titles became public.  Needless to say,
    there are more than a handful of UT converts.
    >> (1.3) CREDITS
    Big thanks to Epic and the fantastic team of developers behind Unreal
    Tournament and the Unreal series in general.
    Huge thanks to In Flames' "Reroute to Remain" CD. I probably would've been
    too distracted by stuff going on around me and not getting this FAQ done
    without them crushing my ear drums every moment I was writing this and
    drowning out real life.
    Also, big thanks to Jonathan Matthews for his fantastic software ASCGEN,
    without which I wouldn't have the nifty logo above.
    Thank You, Contributors:
    o   Ayatollah - 
        Responsible for a lot of the contributions found here.
    o   DarkCodester -
        Contacted me with a basic Onslaught strategy I overlooked. Also added some
        great Anti-Leviathan tactics.
    Thanks to you, the reader, I guess. Even though you didn't do anything. Or
    give me any money. Paypal donations accepted at:
    Onslaught is the new gametype on the block that everybody wants to play with.
    He's the kinda gametype that comes to a brand new school and starts a whole
    new posse, apart from the rest. Let's just say it, Onslaught is cool.
    Onslaught's gameplay is pretty simple to grasp though paradoxically difficult
    to explain. Which sucks because I wanna tell you all about it. So I will.
    I've heard the Onslaught gametype compared to Battlefield 1942 (BF1942) and
    even TRIBES. Having played BOTH of those games, I can only discern a few
    differences between them and Onslaught:
    1. Onslaught doesn't have jetpacks like in TRIBES.
    2. Onslaught doesn't have real weapons like in BF1942.
    3. Vehicles don't just appear out of nowhere like in BF1942. They TELEPORT.
    4. Onslaught is good.
    Now I know I'm gonna get a lotta flak for that last one, because I'm sure some
    TRIBES fanboys are gonna stumble upon this FAQ and find the truth staring them
    in the face. But you know what they're gonna do? They're gonna go like:
                            "Naw man! TRIBES is da bomb!"
    Which is false. Except for the original TRIBES because that was cool.
                                 As for the TRUTH?
    They will DENY it. Because they're fanboys. If you don't know jack-shit about
    fanboys, I've compiled a list describing them:
    1. Fanboys are a species of dumbass.
    2. Fanboys are cold-blooded.
    3. "Fanboy" is a separate species. They cannot reproduce with humans.
    4. Sharks love fanboys.
    5. I hate fanboys.
    6. Hippos don't really care either way.
    7. Fanboys are pedophiles.
    Now that I've written all of that without ONCE explaining how the gametype
    works, I'll move on to Assault. Onslaught has an entire section of this FAQ
    dedicated to it.
    Assault is the veteran coming out of retirement. He's like the Solid Snake of
    the block, except not as cool and without a cool mullet. Regardless, he was
    available in the original UT but then disappeared mysteriously. When asked why
    he ever left he explained that he "just wanted some time alone". What a
    I've never ever seen Assault compared to anything. This is because Assault is
    original and awesome and mad-cool like you've never seen before. If you put
    Assault against The Hulk(tm) and Superman(tm), Assault would win with a
    vengeance. Awesome.
    Traits that make Assault unique from other gametypes:
    1. Assault has no flags (woot!).
    2. People play it.
    3. Umm...
    It's because of those three traits that Assault shall remain in my Hall of
    Fame as the kick-assiest, most funk-tastic ... whatever.
    >> (2.1) WEAPONS
    This is a table of the weapons, their Primary/Secondary weapons, their
    usefulness against Vehicles/Infantry, and how big your balls have to be to
    carry it:
    (1-10: 10=Best)  PRIMARY       SECONDARY             VEHICLES      INFANTRY
    SHIELD GUN   |   Creates a     Pulsing energy        0             4
                 |   shield.       that kills nearby
                 |                 enemies.
    ASSAULT GUN  |   Shoots.       Lobs a grenade.       1             3
    BIO-RIFLE    |   Shoots blobs  Charges shot.         5             8
                 |   of waste.     Shoots big blob of
                 |                 waste.
    SHOCK RIFLE  |   Shoots a      Shoots a big purple   2             5
                 |   purple laser. sphere.
    MINE LAYER   |   Launches      Direct mines to       9             8
    - ONS only   |   proxy mines.  wherever you want
                 |                 them to go.
    G. LAUNCHER  |   Shoots a      Detonates all of      7             9
                 |   grenade that  the grenades.
                 |   sticks.
    MINIGUN      |   Shoots a      Same as Primary       6             6
                 |   flurry of     but slower/stronger.
                 |   bullets.
    FLAK CANNON  |   Shoots a      Shoots a grenade      8             8
                 |   spray of      that explodes into
                 |   shards.       shards.
    LINK GUN     |   Shoots a      Fire a link of        6             7
                 |   flurry of     energy/Repairs
                 |   green energy. vehicles.
    R. LAUNCHER  |   Shoots a      Loads/Fires           8             10
                 |   single        three rockets.
                 |   rocket.
    AVRiL        |   Shoots a big  Zooms in/Locks        9             4
                 |   ol' rocket.   Onto vehicles.
    ELEC. GUN    |   Shoots a      Zooms in.             9             9
                 |   charge of
                 |   lightning.
    **NOTE**                                                              **NOTE**
    DarkCodester says:
    "i noticed in your weapons section of your faq...
     you forgot the sniper rifle."
    **NOTE**                                                              **NOTE**
    And with that...
                     PRIMARY       SECONDARY             VEHICLES       INFANTRY
    SNIPER RIFLE |   Fires a       Zooms in.             6              9
                 |   bullet.
    REDEEMER     |   Shoots a big  Zooms in.             10            10
    - Supa WPN.  |   ass rocket.
    ION CANNON   |   Laser Guide.  Zooms in.             10            10
    - Supa WPN.  |   Aim, Hold and
                 |   Wait.
    PHOENIX BMBR.|   Laser Guide.  Zooms in.             10            10
    - Supa WPN.  |   Aim, Hold and 
                 |   Wait.
                     PRIMARY       SECONDARY             VEHICLES      INFANTRY
    How big do your balls have to be to carry each weapon?
                                  "Fookin' gigantic"
    Except for the Shield Gun. You can't pull that out without an inverted woody
    and THAT hurts, tough guy.
    >> (2.2) VEHICLES
    You know how it goes. Your balls have to be pretty big to ride these beasts.
    This info sheet will give you each vehicle's speed, attack, armor,
    efficiency against vehicles and efficiency against enemy personnel. All
    vehicles are ONS only unless it says otherwise.
    (1-10: 10=Best)
           Speed    : (10) ZOOOOOOOOM!!! 
           Attack   : ( 2) Who just touched my ass?
           Armor    : ( 2) A bee could kick the Manta's ass.
           Vehicles : ( 2) Effective against the Goliath.
           Infantry : ( 8) Run 'em over!
           Average  : (~5) Hurrah, only two points below-average.
           Speed    : (10) ZOOOOOOOOM!!! (but in the air)
           Attack   : ( 2) Stop that tickles. What a fruit.
           Armor    : ( 6) 1-to-1 odds against a bee.
           Vehicles : ( 8) Effective against Goliath/Levi.
           Infantry : ( 2) Run away from AVRiLs and Elec. Gun!
           Average  : (~6) It's actually kinda better than the Manta.
           Speed    : ( 8) VROOM but not quite ZOOOOOOOOM!!!
           Attack   : ( 6) Good if you don't miss. Trust me you'll miss.
           Armor    : ( 6) Could take on three bees.
           Vehicles : ( 2) Run away!
           Infantry : ( 6) Run 'em over!
           Average  : (~6) About as balanced as you can get. Not a good thing.
           Speed    : ( 6) SHOOOM but not quite VROOM
           Attack   : ( 8) Best if you have friends to shoot for you.
           Armor    : ( 8) Even the hive couldn't hurt this baby.
           Vehicles : ( 7) Haha! Only a Goliath/Levi could beat Hellbender.
           Infantry : ( 9) Drive by shooting or a hit-and-run. It's up to you.
           Average  : (~8) Only deserves this if you have it completely loaded.
                           Otherwise it's more like a five.
           Speed    : ( 5) You can almost run this fast.
           Attack   : (10) Cannon goes BOOM, people fly into the air.
           Armor    : ( 8) Yeah right. Bring it.
           Vehicles : (10)Could take out anything 1-on-1. Except the Levi.
           Infantry : (10) Skeet skeet skeet!...range.
           Average  : (~9) And it deserves it. Punk.
           Speed    : ( 1) Uh...
           Attack   : (10) It's like: "Hey you, check this out!"
                           And then you do, but realize what he's gonna do to you.
                           So you run -- but it's too late...
           Armor    : (10) A Levi could take out an army. You'll crap your pants
                           when you a get ahold of this baby.
           Vehicles : (10) The Leviathan's balls dwarf the Goliath's in this
           Infantry : (10) ...it got a ten, what'd'ya think?
           Average  : (~8) Only got lower than the Goliath because it's so
                           fookin' slow. Also your entire team has to be riding
                           this thing for it to actually be effective.
           Speed    : (..) Nothing to compare it to really.
           Attack   : ( 3) Except for the guided missiles, this thing is really
           Armor    : (..) Nothing to compare THIS too either.
           Vehicles : (NA) Not-Applicable. Only available in AS.
           Infantry : (NA) Not-Applicable. Can only fight other fighters.
           Average  : (NA) Couldn't calculate it. My calculator doesn't think NA
                           is a number.
           Speed    : (..) Exactly the same as the Human Fighter.
           Attack   : ( 3) "                                    "
           Armor    : (..) Exactly the same as the Human Fighter.
           Vehicles : (NA) "                                    "
           Infantry : (NA) Exactly the same as the Human Fighter.
           Average  : (NA) Turns out N and A are members of "Da Alphabets", an
                           elementary school gang with divisions all across the
    Finally, what you've all been waiting for and I've been fully excited to
    reveal to you: the Assault guide! Luckily, I love ya, so this part isn't
    complete bullshit. Or is it?
                                         Why do we hurt the ones we love the most?
    >> (3.1) GAMETYPE BASICS
    Assault pits your team in a struggle to either capture or defend an objective.
    As an ATTACKER, you must unlock a series of doors or destroy a series of areas
    in order to move on and capture/destroy the final objective.
    As a DEFENDER, you must defend the final objective and the numerous areas that
    prevent the ATTACKERS from direct access.
                                                   I know, I know -- it's awesome.
    First of all, as an Attacker you're gonna want to get ahold of some serious
    weaponry. Otherwise you'll be stuck with that stupid Assault Gun and your
    pansy-ass Shield Gun and I'll hate you forever and ever. If this is your first
    time playing and you find yourself being "mysteriously" murdered by unseen
    turrets/snipers then here are a few things to keep yourself sane:
    1. I know you won't believe this, but there's an arrow right on your screen
       you noob. Follow it.
    2. If you don't know what an arrow is. Follow your teammates, they probably
       know what they're doing.
    3. You could ask someone but UT has a history of jerkwads in their gamer
       populace. Also everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY hates noobs.
    4. If you still can't pull your head out of your ass long enough to figure it
       out after this, consult an AssKickate (a Martial Art) Technician to
       show you what's what. (I am a Certified Asskickate Technician)
    1. Don't yell.
    2. Practice offline you dolt.
    3. Become efficient in Deathmatch/Capture the Flag game modes. They'll do you
       a lot of good here.
    4. Double-strafe a lot. You can double-strafe and jump in midair to do a...
       1080 Double-Mc-Aerial-Strafe-Jump. Well, except for the 1080 part it's
       pretty accurate. That wasn't even funny...
    5. If you need to get to the next objective, bring a buttload of buddies with
       you. Have them go in first, then come in with the Shield Gun's Primary Fire
       and make a mad dash for the objective.
    6. I kinda covered this in #5, but don't go alone. Because then you'll end up
       facing twelve guys and getting ass-paddled in front of your friends.
    7. Be familiar with the map ahead of time if you can. This makes it assloads
       easier to play when you know what you're supposed to do.
    Shield Gun        :   I described what you can do with this under the
                          I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I'M DOING... section.
    Assault Gun       :   Maybe if you're stupid. Or can't afford/don't have nuts
                          big enough for the other weapons.
    Bio-Rifle         :   Plops a steaming pile of waste. Radioactive waste!
                          Surprised you there. It kills well enough and its quick
                          rate-of-fire makes it pretty damn effective.
    Shock Rifle       :   When you shoot a guy he turns purple for a split second.
                          That's pretty much the extent of what it does. Whatever.
    Link Gun          :   Primary fire is much more useful than Secondary. But you
                          know what's even MORE useful? Another weapon.
    MiniGun           :   Everybody's favorite weapon ever. Since the beginning of
                          the series this gun has probably spent the most time
                          being pulled out of thin-air to kick ass.
    Rocket Launcher   :   Hey-ho! What the dilly yo? Rockets are strong, I think
                          that's FPS standard. Good choice for killing your rival,
                          or just killing in general.
    Lightning Gun     :   I assume you suck so don't choose this weapon. But hey,
                          if you think you can hit a moving target at point-blank
                          range with this baby more power to me (not a typo).
    Sniper Rifle      :   Same thing as the Lightning Gun. Except it doesn't
                          shoot a massive charge of lightning that leads back to
                          you once the smoke clears. So... you can camp if you're
                          a buttface.
    Being the Defenders is like being the Attackers, only you're defending and
    they're attacking. And instead of freelancing your stupid, non-teamplayer ass
    you'll have to pull your team together and do some serious tag-teaming.
                                                                   You turdburger.
    For Noobs:
    1. The arrow makes a spectacular comeback. And it does it well.
    2. You shouldn't even be reading this.
    3. That's all I have.
    4. Stick together.
    1. I thought I said shutup.
    2. I can't believe how many people don't use the turrets. Break the cycle of
       stupidity and ride one.
    3. Umm... stick together.
    4. Yeah...
    5. Where are my grapes?
    Rocket Launcher   : Great weapon for asskicking. Use it again.
    MiniGun           : Hide next to a door or some other similar opening. When
                        some idiot jumps through pump his ass full of lead. You're
                        on your way to Ninja Star-dom, grasshopper.
    Flak Cannon       : Do the same thing as with the MiniGun. Just not with the
                        Secondary fire.
    >>> (3.3b) GUARD PLACEMENT
    When placing patrols around an objective, be sure to see it through the eyes
    of the ATTACKER. It's harder to hit a target that is vertically higher than
    you so a height advantage will definitely work in your favor.
    Place soldiers evenly about the map, not clustered in the first location
    unless your roster is sparse. When you've got extra soldiers, place them at
    the next objective (if you can) or have them take control of turrets. It never
    hurts to be prepared.
    Always have someone with a Flak Cannon standing beside the Capture Point (the
    area where the ATTACKER must go to obtain the objective). In fact, have two or
    more to be on the safe side. Just don't let them die.
    Onslaught is Assault's kid brother. Onslaught is rock-solid. Onslaught can
    only be used for good. Onslaught was touched in a bad place by a TRIBES
    fanboy because fanboys are pedophiles.
    I urge you to call the authorities if you find a fanboy, whether he be one
    for TRIBES, X-BOX, GameCube, PS2, PC, Anime, etc. Even if he isn't a
    pedophile -- which he is because he's a fanboy -- just do it. Keep your
    neighborhood safe.
    >> (4.1) GAMETYPE BASICS
    Each level is split into Nodes, or objectives which must be captured. Each
    team has two main bases called Power Cores and must destroy the other team's
    Core to win. In order to do damage to the opposing Core, you must capture the
    Node which is linked to the Core. Confused? You shouldn't be because you've
    already played it by now.
    For Noobs:
    1. Capture a node by stepping on it. Select the Link Gun (Default: 5) and use
       its Secondary fire to bring up a gauge above the Node. Hold Secondary fire
       until the gauge is full to construct the node.
    2. Vehicles rock. Except the Scorpion, which is a suicide-trolly. Don't get in
       the Scorpion unless you're a big fan of Jackass. Then you should be outside
       imitating what you see on TV.
    3. DarkCodester says:
       "u can get to a point faster by pressing e on a node and teleporting
        there. with this u can get vehicles like goliath and levi into battle
        much faster. ive seen players try to get there on foot."
    4 gUyZ wH0 4lR34dY g0T5 d4 K/\/oW13Dg3:
    1. Sausages are illegal in Sweden. Don't eat sausages while playing this game
       anytime you're in the Sweden area.
    2. Use your headset, talk to teammates.
       Tell them what, you ask?
       Tell them when your Node is under attack, Einstein.
    3. Use the Leviathan for defense. If you defend your Primary Core with it as
       well as the Node that it's linked to you'll build an invisible/solid wall
       of funk and pimp with your aura. If they break through that then you can
       shoot 'em or whatever. But before opening fire, just see if they just stand
       there, stare at you, and run or go for the gusto and try and take you on
    4. Drugs enhance your FPS skills. I'm just kidding, but tell your friends.
    5. You can't run away when you're in a Leviathan. It's too friggin' slow
    Grab the Power Nodes whenever you get a freakin' chance and as quickly as
    possible. Don't forget that the more people that construct a Node at a time,
    the faster it finishes. Just don't leave any vital Node defenseless when it's
    Grabbing the Redeemer/Ion Cannon will help end the game much faster. Just
    shoot a rocket either at a Node connected to the Core or to the Core itself to
    do some serious damage.
    Vehicles are a lifesaver. As a secondary rider in a Goliath, you can shoot
    down incoming AVRiLs and Redeemers. Just don't rely too much on vehicles for
    offense because you'll have to get out to capture a node.
    >>> (4.2a) VEHICLE USAGE
    Manta      : Fast and great for getting someplace quick. Even better for
                 ramming fools in your way and annoying enemies at Nodes.
    Scorpion   : Bitch! I thought I said not to touch this vehicle. Get out!
    Hellbender : Unless you've got friends, you may not want to ride this one as
                 the Primary Driver doesn't have control of any weapons.
    Goliath    : Pow! This is like a kick-in-the-ass but in tank form. Great for
                 clearing Nodes or getting people dead.
    Raptor     : Grab this if you wanna fly. Extremely useful against lumbering
                 giants like Leviathans and Goliaths. Also gets people dead though
                 it's not nearly as effective on infantry as vehicles.
    Leviathan  : Can you say 'Kapow Shpewm McAssKicka'? If I could name this
                 vehicle that would be it. That or 'SlowLikeYourMom' for its
                 obvious lack in speed.
    >>> (4.2b) WEAPONS USAGE
    Weapons are your primary (and sole) tools of kaboom in Onslaught. Use them for
    make things explosion.
    Shield Gun  : If you get into a fight on a tower, and then the guy goes like:
                  "Punk, who you think you are?"
                  And pushes you with two fingers (like a pansy) and you fall off.
                  Then you can pull this out and right before you land use the
                  Primary Fire and not be dead.
                  Kicked his ass.
    Assault Gun : Grenades explode. If you hit him he'll get hurt. Otherwise
                  you'll look like an idiot for not hitting him and he'll school
                  you in the art of AssKickate.
    Bio-Rifle   : Fires blobs of snot. Kills most things because it's actually
                  radioactive waste and I was just kidding. Not useful in anything
                  besides close-quarters battle. But you knew that.
    Shock Rifle : It's like the lightning gun, only it doesn't hurt people. If you
                  wanna pinch a guy in the ass from a distance (ooh!) then by all
                  means pull this one out. Just remember that's sexual
    G. Launcher : Shoots 'Sticky' grenades that 'stick' onto things. Whatever
                  they're 'stuck' on will get kaboomed when you use Secondary
    Mine Layer  : Contains a school which teaches spiders AssKickate. Then when
                  you shoot them out they hide in the ground and are all like:
                  "Shh... be quiet. Don't tell anyone we're here."
                  Then some idiot will walk by and he'll be like whistling and
                  shit because he's retarded and he's wearing headphones and can't
                  hear the spiders giggling. Then they jump out and kaboom him to
                  pieces. What a dumbass.
    Flak Cannon : It's like a candy launcher. But instead of candy it launches
                  death. And instead of a launcher it's a cannon. So it's a Death
                  Cannon. Also it shoots metal pieces in a wide spray and makes
                  little girls scream. Kicked her ass.
    R. Launcher : If you liked the Death Cannon. Then you'll love the Rocket
                  Launcher. It's like Death's evil cousin, because Death isn't
                  evil he's just doing his job. Use for explosioning big things
                  and peoples.
    Elec. Gun   : It's like the Shock Rifle, but instead of pinching a guy's ass
                  you ram a can of ass-whoop up his bunghole. It doesn't make him
                  kaboom however and he'll come back asking for more. You know
                  what to do. Hint: Bzz.. Bzz... Kershpow McAssKicka!
    Defense is like offense, only less fun. Basically you stand still and grab a
    turret or some similarly mack-tastic weaponry and take advantage of your time
    spent NOT killing things to read a book or make a 'blog that nobody will ever
    read. You idiot. Why do you keep updating it? NOBODY READS IT!
    >>> (4.3a) VEHICLE USAGE
    Manta      : Don't use this. You know better than that.
    Scorpion   : You bring this up again and I'll kick your ass.
    Hellbender : If you want to lose a node go ahead and grab this one.
    Raptor     : When a Goliath comes in, all imposing and fearless, grab a
                 Raptor and show him whose boss. It ain't Tony Danza bi-atch!
    Goliath    : Don't waste a Goliath on Defense. Its kaboom is best-suited
                 for offense. Get smarted.
    Leviathan  : Once my buddy was like:
                                        "Let's use a levi for defense!"
                 And I was like:
                                        "You're a dumbass"
                 But it turned out to be a good idea because we were right next
                 to our Power Core and the enemy was gonna attack it.
                 But we were like:
                                        "Yeah right punk-bitches. Bring it."
                 And they brought it, but we built a wall of funk and kickass with
                 our Levi's Ion Cannon and kicked their asses. Then we got banned
                 for swearing.
    >>> (4.3b) WEAPONS USAGE
    Shield Gun  : What're you stupid? You're supposed to be defending, not
                  taking a shit in the corner. I hate you.
    Assault Gun : If you're dumb than this is the safest bet for you. Just don't
                  shoot yourself in the head. Dumbass.
    Bio-Rifle   : I heard if you eat the sludge you'll die or something. Best to
                  try it on incoming idiots first.
    Shock Rifle : It's purple. Like the Vikings. It sucks. Like the Vikings. Need
                  I say more?
    MiniGun     : Kapow pow pow pow pow. That's what it sounds like. And then
                  they die. Nice job, too bad you're a moron.
    G. Launcher : Put it on things. Then press Secondary Fire to watch the things
                  scream in joy and utter exuberance. And then watch them die.
                  Good for you. Now you're a murderer.
    Mine Layer  : Did I mention the Kickate spiders? Yeah - use them to defend
                  Nodes and they'll blow them to kingdom cum (get it? "blow"?
                  "cum"?) I hate you.
    R. Launcher : When the gun is fully-loaded you better not miss. Because then
                  you wasted three rockets and people will make fun of you. But
                  not me, I was already making fun of you.
    Lightn. Gun : Take out Node defenders, Raptors, and incoming Redeemers. Just
                  don't get caught.
    Sniper Rifle: A bit more useful since its shot doesn't leave a trail back to
                  its point of origin. Just keep moving since the smoke that
                  it releases after you take a shot blinds you for a moment.
    These Anti-Vehicle Tactics are best used against vehicles. Also they are best
    executed in a tactical fashion. You're a buttmunch.
    o  Ayatollah says:
       "it's best to fire an AVRiL at about a 75-degree angle. then just when
        the rocket gets close to the vehicle, lock on to them. this will reduce
        the time they have to see the 'Lock On' warning."
    o  DarkCodester says:
       "when the levi destroys a node and leaves just capture the node again and
        he'll have to backtrack. levis are slow. if there are multiple paths to
        a power core and a levi is taking one of them just use another one."
    o  Use a Manta's speed to go *WHIR* around a Goliath. And it'll be like
       "h-wha-!?" And you can go: "1 4m 50 R0xX0rZ!" and piss everyone off. But
       too late. And then you can watch the idiot driver spin his stupid cannon
       around in circles while you laugh and rhyme words with roxxorz (soxxorz,
       boxxorz, chicken poxxorz, etc.) and he gets even madder. And then he gets
       dead. What an idiot.
    YOU (the fighter dude)...
          VS Manta - Not much can be done against a Manta since they're so fast.
                     Luckily, pilots can't do much without getting out so knock
                     'em out by doing some damage to the Manta. Use a Flak Cannon.
          VS Scorp.- Like the Manta. Just use the Flak Cannon to take this one
                     out. Just don't stand still or you'll get sliced in half.
          VS Hellb.- Only the Rocket Launcher/Mine Layer/Grenade Launcher will
                     do damage "da 'Benda". Luckily those are easy to find.
          VS Rapto.- It flies. So what can you do? Either use an AVRiL or a
                     Lightning Gun to swat this fly.
          VS Golia.- The best bet is to grab a Raptor and take it down from the
                     skies. However, Mantas are more readily available so
                     grabbing one and running circles around the Goliath is almost
                     as effective.
          VS Levia.- If you're hoping to take a Leviathan out, take note that
                     you're gonna need your entire team. Raptors are a great
                     weapon against it, especially when it switches to its Ion
                     Cannon, which is when it's most vulnerable. However, Goliaths
                     are good for a few hits (until the Levi catches you) and any
                     Supa Weapon is good. You should probably realize by now that
                     using your team to take out a single vehicle isn't very
                     efficient teamplay. Luckily, the Leviathan is slow so
                     avoiding it is no toughy. Just hit it whenever you run across
                     it, just don't make it the focus of your game when you could
                     be capturing a node elsewhere.
    o  Just don't friggin' miss. Don't be a newbie and miss. Missing is for
       newbies and grandmas. Only stupid grandmas, not like my cool grandma who
       kicks peoples asses at UT2K4 and hates white people.
       Note: I do not condone the kicking of peoples asses in real life.
             Oh, also hate is bad. Just kidding because you're a Nazi and I hate
    o  Spider mines know AssKickate so put them to good use. Just make sure not
       to put them in plain site or your friend will laugh at you and become your
       enemy. Then you'll have to cut yourself to appease your inner anguish.
    o  Redeemer will kill stuff in one hit. Just don't miss, because not only is
       that hilarious but I just told you not to miss like fifty times now and I'm
       starting to get really pissed. Also don't get dead to yourself with the
       Redeemer's awesome kick-assiness. Because that's almost as bad as missing.
    > (5.0) CONCLUSION
    Well, that ends the FAQ! I hope you put some of those strategies to good
    use.  I put all of this information and filtered out most of the crap that
    has I've found to give you the best collection of Onslaught and Assault
    strategy I could find.  I'm always open to suggestion, though I'm not always
    online to accept it.  So if you've got tips and hints, here is my contact
            AIM	:	GunnerOcelot
            E-MAIL	:	irenicapollyon@hotmail.com
    E-Mail containing tips and constructive criticism must say so in the Subject.
    Those without the proper subject (describing what it is you plan to tell me)
    will be subject to some serious Junk Mail filtering.  I love you guys!
                                     Peace out!
    v1.97 - Completely revamped the FAQ
    v0.97 - More info submitted to me has been added. Added to Credits.
    v0.95 - Info submitted to me has been posted.
            Added them to Credits.
    v0.93 - Disclaimer added.
            Did a lot more cleaning up.
    v0.92 - Removed TAB indents.
            Made the layout more modem friendly.
    v0.91 - Added ASCII logo.
            Removed all spelling errors.
    v0.90 - FAQ is published.
                      (c)Copyright 2004. Nuruljihad Nasruddin.

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