"I can't explain things like that to a kid!"

To tell the truth, I had high hopes for this game. I'm a big fan of those transforming villain-kicking style-lacking super heroes, and was highly curious about how this theme will turn out if put together with elements of hentai. Plus, I knew this game was going to be a parody, so I expected there would be some light-hearted fun and laughs in it which I could enjoy. Oh, I was so disappointed.

Ginji, the hero you'll play, is a notorious street fighting hypocrite extraordinaire. During a midnight stroll in search for enemies, he encounters a group of girls, later he knows as the Jewel Knights, fighting a formidable female foe named Arshura, who turns out to be an officer of the evil crime organization Ragnarokkr. Arshura hunts for a special ‘treasure' which lies within the hearts of young maidens and the Jewel Knights (in their assigned district) fight to protect the young beautiful members of society from her. Simply put, after a number of occasions and Ginji's abilities are recognized, he joins the Jewel Knights in their crusade against evil. Because he SAYS that he hates to see the weak tormented by the strong (and because of the fact that the Jewel Knights reluctantly agree in the end to fulfill his sexual desires).

What I hoped from this game was something enjoyable. But what I got was far from that. How can I amuse myself when rape, hermaphrodites, fetish, pedophiles and other perverse themes go one after another along with beyond-cheesy heroic role-play? From the three Jewel Knights, I only found one to be close to desirable. While one of the other two isn't particularly cute and the last one doesn't even look like she's reached the age of puberty. It's disturbing in a curious way, which unables you to truly enjoy the very few ‘good' stuff it has since it's hard to imagine all of it without!

Back to the game, this is the regular point and click adventure with a system very similar to TRABULANCE's Tsukushte Agechau (I'm Gonna Serve You) 4. The story is divided into a number of (weekly TV) episodes (with even a commercial break and a parodying “next week's preview” in the end of each...) and before each one, you get to choose which of the girls you'd like to hang out with. There are four you could decide to be with: the caring leader Meno, the sassy but tough Ruri, the lolicon Hisui, and the friendly yet disturbed(?) Asako who is actually the Jewel Knight's sworn enemy, Arshura. The story then branches depending on what choices you have made. Do not expect anything interesting from the plot, because the formula goes like: mischief, sex, mischief again, sex again, a bit of an angst, mischief, sex, all the way like that until the very unimpressive end (also fueled with some unillustrated and poorly told fight scenes).

The sex scenes obviously gives an overdose of over sized breasts (except for Hisui's case). The graphics are colorful and comical but all seemed half-heartedly made. What's good from this game might only be the comedy and the numerous strange (sound?) effects it has. Occasionally, when things need some sorting out, all of a sudden Ginji hears a Heavenly Voice coming from out of nowhere who voluntarily explains all the things he needs to know about the Jewel Knights, thus acting as some kind of narrator. Or whenever Ginji makes his appearance as Jewel Silver, he always forces himself to read an extended version of some android hero's introductory line from on top of a roof which bores Arshura and his own comrades close to death.

The music is so-so. Surprisingly feels like it could've been cool. The voice acting's pretty good (especially Arshura's annoying shrill laugh). But it's just that. No more good coming from it. The backgrounds are monotonous. The story doesn't really develop. Some events are downright annoying and makes you scream, “The hell? Just get over it already!”

In the end, I realized how difficult it is to predict what'll be coming from a H-game. Not many games of this genre provide exactly what you've been hoping for. How could such a great idea be ruined like this? Wrong perceptions? Cultural differences? Title misleads? How long must we wait until the day mutual understanding dawns between us? On the other hand, could this be is what all the translated bishoujo games have long been fighting for? Mutual understanding?

Yeah, I suppose our world needs something like that. Not some stupid panties-showing heroines fighting a bondage queen dressed villain in a game done by Zerocool.

Reviewer's Rating:   1.5 - Bad

Originally Posted: 01/13/05

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