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    Game Script by angeldeb82

    Version: 2.0 | Updated: 06/19/11 | Search Guide | Bookmark Guide


    (Version 2.0)

    Author: Deborah L. Kearns


    Copyright © 2010-2011 by Deborah L. Kearns. Tales of Monkey Island Chapter 5: Rise of the Pirate God is a trademark of LucasArts and Telltale Games. Tales of Monkey Island Chapter 5: Rise of the Pirate God: Copyright © 2009 by Telltale Games.

    DISCLAIMER: This scripted document is intended ONLY for private home use and may not be reproduced through electronic or commercial means without the consent of the author (Deborah L. Kearns). It cannot be hosted, edited, or distributed for profit and may not be given away as an add-in/gift to bought items, and it should not be claimed as your own. All rights are reserved to respected parties, even those not explicitly stated herein. Thank you for reading this, and thank you for respecting FAQ authors.



    Hello, and welcome to my guide for the exclusive game script for Tales of Monkey Island Chapter 5: Rise of the Pirate God. As you may know, this is now my fifth attempt in using GameFAQs' Formatted FAQ text markup to write a game script like this one. All the other game scripts from other video games have used plain-text format for easier script write, but not this one. So far, I have successfully created and uploaded my formatted game script FAQs for the previous chapters for ToMI: Launch of the Screaming Narwhal, The Siege of Spinner Cay, Lair of the Leviathan, and, more recently, The Trial and Execution of Guybrush Threepwood. And now I'm getting very close to the finish line of the entire game itself. Keep in mind that I'm still a bit inexperienced but improving in trying to use Formatted FAQ text to write this one, so, again, it may be just like one of the scripts you read at the South Park Scriptorium website. If I make a few mistakes, I'll try to correct them as best as I can, so please bear with me, okay?

    Anyway, like all four of the game's previous chapters, ToMI Chapter 5 has quite a loose gameflow like the Kill Bill series, so your storyline may vary from what's listed here, according to GameFAQs contributor HRahman. Due to the overwhelming amount of choices and story paths, I may put ONLY ONE kind of flow that makes the whole story, while the rest of the scripts may be explored by yourself. To tell you the truth, I don't really have that much of a free time, and I may or may not figure out a way to chart out the story system to make it an easy read. Sorry! Also, be cautionary, as this script I am writing for this game is a correction of all the game's subtitle errors, as the game and its subtitles are rife with so many misspellings, missing words, grammar problems, capitalization and punctuation errors and words in voices that don't match the words in the subtitles, as I will point out in brackets! Again, sorry, as you're gonna have to bear with me as I write this script! :P So, without further ado, we move on to the game script!

    Cast of Characters

    Guybrush Ulysses Threepwood, main hero of the entire Monkey Island series

    Elaine Marley-Threepwood, former governor of the Tri-Island area and Guybrush's wife (sort of)

    LeChuck, undead pirate and antagonist of the series

    Voodoo Lady, recurring character of the Monkey Island series

    Man's Voice

    Crossroads Ferryman

    Galeb, Crossroads photographer

    Pirate Kevin, former crew member of Captain McGillicutty, now a Crossroads Thief with a Southern drawl *1.

    Pirate Bill, former crew member of Captain McGillicutty, now a Crossroads Treasure Hunter *1.

    Franklin, Crossroads Guard Dog

    Morgan LeFlay, athletic and competent female bounty hunter who is recently deceased

    Pirate Ted "The Thief" Thiefman, former crew member of Captain McGillicutty, now a headless Swordfighter *1.

    Skeletal Pirates

    Hypnotized Monkeys of Montevideo, including Jacques the Monkey

    Reginald Van Winslow, former captain and now first mate of the Screaming Narwhal

    Anemone, Vaycaylian citizen and Winslow's trusted companion

    Wallace P. Grindstump, Right Honorable Judge of the Flotsam Island courthouse and Club 41 owner and proprietor

    Bugeye, former crew member of Coronado De Cava

    Rockrib, the Towel Guy

    Group of Crabs

    Tiny Pyrite Parrots, bits that are split up from the Pyrite Parrot of Petaluma

    Dead Seagull

    Vaycaylian Warriors

    1. Since the game only mentions the Spoon Isle Trio by status in the End Credits section (an oddity, since Brian Sommer's role as "Treasure Hunter" is not mentioned in the credits themselves), I'm gonna refer to the "Swordfighter" as "Ted", the "Thief" as "Kevin", and the "Treasure Hunter" as "Bill" unless otherwise noted (thanks to IMDB for the names, I think).


    R#. = Repeat Question C#. = Cycle of Questions E#. = End Conversation


    [Camera fades in to the starry night and into the deserted voodoo shack in the howling wind, where tarot cards are lying around in a heap on the shelf next to some Voodoo jars and mugs. Scene then moves towards the desk, and a tarot card is lying on the tablecloth before Judge Wallace P. Grindstump's voice sounds out in an echo with a few bangs of the gavel.]

    GRINDSTUMP: [voice-over] Order! Order! [Camera moves from the face-down card to the "Justice" card lying on the table as the voice continues.] I hereby call for the release of Guybrush Threepwood and the immediate imprisonment of LeChuck and the Voodoo Lady! To the brig with both of them! [Camera then moves to the "Healer" card before another voice sounds out...]

    MAN'S VOICE: [voice-over] The Pox! The Curse is lifted! [text error adds in "Yay!"] [As the camera moves on further towards another card, another voice, this time belonging to the human LeChuck, sounds out.]

    LECHUCK: [voice-over] Unholy THIS! [There is a sound of impalement from a cutlass as the camera moves to the "Treachery" card, and then...]

    GUYBRUSH: [voice-over] Oooofff!!! [text says "Arrghh!!!", voice says "Oooofff!!!"] Is that you... mother? I washed my hands....

    LECHUCK: [voice-over, laughing in triumph] Bwa ha ha ha har! [Camera moves on to the final tarot card, the "Death" card, as Elaine's horrified voice sounds out.]

    ELAINE: [voice-over] Guybrush! [An ominous wind sounds out as the title screen appears.]


    [Scene cuts to a lone grave on top of a hill with an iron fence against it, and there is a calm rush of water. A dog runs up and digs up the dirt as the credits appear.]

    Written By:
    Mark Darin
    Programmed By:
    Randy Tudor
    Choreography By:
    Eric Parsons
    Daniel Herrera
    Music By:
    Michael Land
    Art Direction:
    Derek Sakai
    David Bogan
    Directed By:
    Mark Darin
    Jake Rodkin
    Story By:
    Mark Darin
    Mike Stemmle
    Dave Grossman
    Based on Characters Created By:
    Ron Gilbert

    [While the credits continue to appear, a muffled voice belonging to Guybrush Threepwood sounds out from under the dirt.]

    GUYBRUSH: [off-camera] Where am I? I can't see a thing! [The voice startles the dog as it runs away.] Where is all this dirt coming from? Maybe I'll just take some, to get it out of the way... Hey! I think I can see some light!

    [Try to look around while you are buried alive (?)]

    GUYBRUSH: [off-camera, muffled] Helloooo? It's dark in here!

    [Look around again]

    GUYBRUSH: [off-camera, muffled] Anyone?

    [Look around a third time]

    GUYBRUSH: [off-camera, muffled] I think I feel dirt!

    [Look around a fourth time]

    GUYBRUSH: [off-camera, muffled] [Hmm,] I definitely have mud in my teeth...

    [By the time the credits are finishing, Guybrush's voice speaks out from the dirt that is being pushed once more.]

    GUYBRUSH: [off-camera, muffled] Lemme just grab some more of this dirt... [A ghostly hand emerges from the grave, and then his voice becomes clearer.] Hey! [Another shuffle, and Guybrush Threepwood, now a ghost, emerges and gets out of the grave, then looks at himself.] I can't believe it! I've been buried alive... AGAIN! [He raises his left fist in anger as he speaks, and suddenly looks at his left hand as a smile lights up his face.] Hey! My hand is back! [He suddenly looks around, and then...] Uh oh... this REALLY can't be good. [He then looks at the scenery around the hill.] Where am I? [Scene moves down to a ferry boat next to some Grog machine as he slides down the hillside far from the running dog. He is now at the bottom of the hill near the gateway as he looks around.]

    [Examine the Shred of Life]

    GUYBRUSH: For some reason, I've been able to cling to this single shred of life.

    [Show the Shred of Life to anyone]

    GUYBRUSH: They can get their own life.

    [Examine the grave dirt]

    GUYBRUSH: Dirt can't hurt.

    [Guybrush looks at the dog at the bottom of the hill...]

    GUYBRUSH: Hiya, doggie! Come here, boy. [The dog comes up to him.] Awww... I wonder if he's lost. I better take him with me. [He tries to take the dog, but...]

    DOG: [in anger] Grrrrr!!!!

    GUYBRUSH: [flinches] Yikes! [Uh,] Maybe I should make friends with him first.

    [ the weathered tombstone...]

    GUYBRUSH: [reads] Here lies Frederick Pirate, [pronounced "pee-RAH-tay"] loving husband, devoted father, pillar of the community, hanged because of a terrible misunderstanding. [Awww.]

    [ the headstone...]

    GUYBRUSH: [reads] R.I.P. Davey, a pirate reporter. His stories were long, but his obit was shorter.

    [ the faded grave marker...]

    GUYBRUSH: [reads] Here Lies What's-His-Name, May We Never Forget.

    [ the cracked tombstone...]

    GUYBRUSH: [reads] Behold the remains of our dear Captain Barrett, pecked through the brains by his mutinous parrot.

    [ the flithy gravestone...]

    GUYBRUSH: [reads] R.I.P. Finnius McDriver, aka Shark Fightin' Finny, aka Shark Bait. Died from a bear attack.

    [ the polished cenotaph...]

    GUYBRUSH: [reads] All hail Santino, brilliant and brave. A pirate too good to be stuck in a grave.

    [ his own gravestone...]

    GUYBRUSH: [reads] Guybrush Threepwood, Mitey Pirate TM! [Uhh,] At least they finally got the last name right.

    [ the grave to the right of his stone...]

    GUYBRUSH: [reads] Noogie liked bongos and wooing the ladies. He turned on his brothers who sent him to Hades.

    [...and at the tombstone next to Santino's cenotaph...]

    GUYBRUSH: [reads] Here lies Ted, a pirate thief. He punched LeChuck and earned his grief. [NOTE: I think Guybrush may be referring to Ted "The Thief" Thiefman, the leader of the Spoon Isle Trio, in Chapter 2, if I'm not mistaken.]

    [...before looking at the Grog machine.]

    GUYBRUSH: You don't see one of those every day. [He looks at any button, labeled either "Grog," "Diet Grog," "Cherry Grog," or "Grog XD," and presses it, but...] Hmm, nothing. [...then looks at the money slot...] Looks like this machine only takes bills. [He then presses the change button, but...] Hmm, nothing.

    [Look at Guybrush's tombstone again]

    GUYBRUSH: [reads] Guybrush Threepwood, Mitey Pirate TM! [He looks up again.] Wait, was someone implying that I have mites?!

    [Look at the dog again]

    GUYBRUSH: [as the dog runs up to him] Hiya, doggie! Come here, boy. [He tries to take the dog, but...]

    DOG: [in anger] Grrrrr!!!!

    GUYBRUSH: [flinches] Yikes! [Uh,] Maybe I should make friends with him first.

    [He then speaks with the skeletal ferryman on the ferry boat.]

    GUYBRUSH: [quivers] Hi there. I'm Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate TM, and... I think I may be dead.

    FERRYMAN: [nods his head] Aye.

    ["Nice outfit!"]

    GUYBRUSH: Nice outfit!

    FERRYMAN: Aye.

    ["Am I really dead?"]

    GUYBRUSH: Am I really dead?

    FERRYMAN: [nods] Aye.

    ["Am I really REALLY dead?"]

    GUYBRUSH: Am I really REALLY dead?

    FERRYMAN: Aye.

    ["So I'm COMPLETELY dead?"]


    FERRYMAN: [nods again] Aye.

    ["I'm not just mostly dead?"]

    GUYBRUSH: I'm not just mostly dead?

    FERRYMAN: Ay-- Okay, look, you do still have a TINY shred of life you seem to be hanging on to, but for all intents and purposes, let's just call it DEAD dead!

    ["This boat looks immaculate!"]

    GUYBRUSH: This boat looks immaculate... you'd never suspect it hauls around dead people all day. [shrugs off his arm as he speaks]

    FERRYMAN: Cleanliness is next to godliness.

    GUYBRUSH: Oh, do you go there, too?

    ["Have we met before?"]

    GUYBRUSH: Have we met before?

    FERRYMAN: Nay.

    ["You look familiar. Are you sure we haven't met before?"]

    GUYBRUSH: You look familiar. Are you sure we haven't met before?

    FERRYMAN: [nods] Aye.

    ["Can [you] take me back to the land of the living?"]

    GUYBRUSH: Is there any chance you can take me back to the land of the living?

    FERRYMAN: Nay.

    ["Where are you going in this boat?"]

    GUYBRUSH: [Uh,] Where are you going in this boat?

    FERRYMAN: To the Crossroads.

    ["Can we go to the Crossroads now?"]

    GUYBRUSH: Can we go to the Crossroads now?

    FERRYMAN: Pay me.

    ["How much does it cost?"]

    GUYBRUSH: How much does it cost?

    FERRYMAN: The golden eyes of everlasting sleep.

    GUYBRUSH: ...eyes of everlasting sleep? I have to give you my eyes?

    FERRYMAN: Nay--

    GUYBRUSH: I mean I know that I'm dead, but I'm still rather attached to my eyes!

    FERRYMAN: You do not--

    GUYBRUSH: [interrupts] Can I still see without them? I'm still really new to this whole "being dead" thing.

    FERRYMAN: [annoyed] It's a metaphor, you Philistine! (sigh) Just give me the two gold coins that were placed on your eyes when you were buried.

    GUYBRUSH: [realizes] OH! "Golden eyes of everlasting sleep", I get it! But wait... I wasn't buried with any coins.

    FERRYMAN: Humph, typical pirate. No coins, no Crossroads.

    [R1. "How much does it cost again?" (PENDING)]

    ["I found a dog. Is it yours?"]

    GUYBRUSH: I found a dog. Is it yours?

    FERRYMAN: [shakes his head] Nay.

    ["Do you know what that dog is doing over there?"]

    GUYBRUSH: Do you know what that dog is doing over there?

    FERRYMAN: Nay.

    [R2. "Why is there a Grog machine in the afterlife?"]

    GUYBRUSH: Why is there a Grog machine in the afterlife?

    FERRYMAN: [points at the machine] For the Thirst of Eternal Waiting.

    GUYBRUSH: Hmm, fair enough.

    [E2. "I'll be back when I find some coins."]

    GUYBRUSH: I'll be back when I find some coins.

    FERRYMAN: Aye.

    [Guybrush looks at the water...]

    GUYBRUSH: [bends down] Eww, [t]his water is kinda... slimy. Where does it go?

    FERRYMAN: The Center of the Crossroads.

    [ the turnstiles...]

    GUYBRUSH: It's a turnstile. Apparently death has yet to shed any of the inconveniences of life.

    [...and at the tip jar...]

    GUYBRUSH: [looks at the ferryman] Wow, you do pretty good in tips!

    FERRYMAN: Do not touch!

    [...before looking at the boat.]

    GUYBRUSH: Nice gondola! It's so clean, despite the fact that it's basically moving through a river of ectoplasmic sludge!

    FERRYMAN: [nods his head again] Aye.

    [Look at the boat again]

    GUYBRUSH: Wow, that boat is almost too clean!

    [Look at the tip jar again]

    GUYBRUSH: Let me just count that up for you. [looks at the ferryman while he speaks before reaching for the tip jar]

    FERRYMAN: [strict] Do not touch!

    [Guybrush goes to the boat and scatters the grave dirt on it before backing off.]

    GUYBRUSH: I think you missed a spot.

    FERRYMAN: [looks around] Nay.

    GUYBRUSH: There is a big smudge of filth right there...

    FERRYMAN: What?! [gets angry] Ah, pig knuckles! I just polished that too! ...rotten kids... [He hovers down and cleans up the dirt, and while he is cleaning, Guybrush goes to the tip jar.]

    GUYBRUSH: He's got plenty of money in there. [takes a whole eight from the jar] I'll just take a little. [The ferryman then gets back to the boat.]

    [Look at the tip jar again when you have a whole eight]

    GUYBRUSH: I already have a bill from this tip jar. I don't wanna be greedy.

    [Examine a whole eight]

    GUYBRUSH: Mo' money, mo' ability to solve puzzles.

    [Guybrush inserts a whole eight into the Grog machine's money slot.]

    GUYBRUSH: Great! Now, what am I thirsty for?

    [If you chose the Diet Grog button]

    [Guybrush presses the button, but...]

    GUYBRUSH: Diet Grog is sold out. I guess even Ghost Pirates need to watch their figure[s].

    [If you chose the Cherry Grog button]

    [Guybrush presses the button, but...]

    GUYBRUSH: Aw, I guess there's no Cherry Grog. Shoot, that's my second favorite flavor, right after Purple.

    [Look at Grog XD button]

    GUYBRUSH: Grog XD. [Hm,] This must be that new high-energy grog that all the kids are drinking these days. [He presses the button, but...] It's sold out. Which is fine by me, the kerosene and battery acid tend to keep me up at night.

    [Guybrush presses the Grog button, and this time the grog bottle pops out.]

    GUYBRUSH: Mmmm, cool refreshing Grog on the Go! For when you need that extra something to face your day! [He grabs the bottle and puts it in his pocket.]

    [Press the Grog button again while the whole eight is in the money slot]

    [Guybrush presses the button again, but...]

    GUYBRUSH: Aw, looks like I got the last one.

    [Examine the bottle o' grog]

    GUYBRUSH: Grog. "Because sometime[s] you have to put your face in hot lava to prove you're [a] man!"

    [Show the bottle o' grog to anyone]

    GUYBRUSH: No time to be buying people drinks.

    [Use the bottle o' grog anywhere]

    GUYBRUSH: Grog can't solve all my problems. But it does help me face many of them.

    [Guybrush returns to the boat and puts the grave dirt on it again before backing off, and after irritating and distracting the ferryman into cleaning the boat again, he goes to take the whole eight from the tip jar again.]

    GUYBRUSH: Maybe just a little more. [The ferryman gets back to the boat again while Guybrush returns to the Grog machine and uses the whole eight in its money slot. This time he presses the change button, and there is a coin-ringing sound.] Hey, it made change for me! [He takes the two golden pieces of eight.]

    [Examine the two golden pieces of eight]

    GUYBRUSH: Gold coins. In LeChuck's haste to murder me and steal my wife, he forgot to put a couple of pennies on my eyes to secure my safe passage to the afterlife. Jerk.

    [Talk to the ferryman again]

    GUYBRUSH: [disturbed] Hi, it's me again.

    FERRYMAN: Aye.

    ["Can I ride the Ferry for free?"]

    GUYBRUSH: Can I ride the Ferry for free?

    FERRYMAN: [shakes his head] Nay.

    ["Can you loan me a dollar?"]

    GUYBRUSH: Can you loan me a dollar?

    FERRYMAN: [shakes his head again] Nay.

    [E1. "Bye."]

    GUYBRUSH: Bye.

    FERRYMAN: Aye.

    [He goes up to the ferryman with the two golden pieces of eight.]

    GUYBRUSH: Here you are, two gold coins! [hands over the coins] Please take me to the Crossroads! [jumps onto the boat]

    FERRYMAN: Aye. [in a flight attendant's voice] Please enter the boat single file. While the boat is in motion, you must keep your hands and feet inside the boat at all times. The Ferry to the center of the Crossroads is not responsible for any belongings left on the boat after departure. [The boat backs off in a jerking motion before moving forward while the camera moves back to an aerial view of the Grog machine. Scene cuts to the boat making its way through a tunnel as Guybrush, with an "Uhh..." of uncertainty, looks around for a few seconds, then shrugs his shoulders. He looks up before looking back down and then gets awed at what he sees in front of him. There is a far-off view of the boat near the forks in the road in the darkness, then the scene cuts back to Guybrush still looking around for a few seconds as the camera makes a circle around him. The boat sails on, until his new destination is reached, and it stops before he jumps off onto the pier, then walks off before...]

    PHOTOGRAPHER: [taking out a camera] Oh-ho, a new arrival! [The camera snaps at the press of a button, blinding Guybrush.]

    GUYBRUSH: Hey!

    PHOTOGRAPHER: Sorry 'bout that, but without the Flash of Enlightenment ol' Galeb can't get a good exposure! [salutes, then takes out some spirit picture] Come, buy a souvenir picture.

    GUYBRUSH: [Eh,] No thanks, I don't have any money.

    GALEB: Is that so? [puts the picture away] Well, let's just see what ya have on ya. [He searches Guybrush's pockets for a few seconds, then...] Indeed, you ARE broke! [puts a thumb up before continuing] Well, when you DO get your hands on some cash (which'll probably be pretty soon, on account of you being a pirate 'n' all), don't forget to come back and purchase this lovely commemorative photo of your very own spirit entering the Crossroads! [He turns around and walks away from Guybrush.]

    GUYBRUSH: [strict] That's fine, just stay out of my pockets, will ya?

    [End of Intro. Cut to title for Chapter 5: Rise of the Pirate God.]