Review by reddragonflame

Reviewed: 10/30/03

Without a doubt, the most over-rated game I have ever played

Grand theft auto. Very old playstation game. It was never the kind of game I would play, but when grand theft auto 3 came out and I did not have a PS2, somebody said that I should buy GTA. I really wish they hadn't.

Graphics- 1
Terrible. Absolutely terrible. What was the point in creating huge, towering buildings and multi level stairs, all in 3D, if you aree then going to throw in a ton of 2D sprites? The contrast between them is terrible. The cars are often impossible to tell apart, the bullets move so slow they look like the special effects in The Matrix, and the gun pictures are just awful. Kiling somebody only results in a little red circle, and no matter how fast you drive, the scenery moves just as slow.
Walking around just makes your circle of a character look like he has serious problems, and the circle heads of people along the way are a nightmare. You can not tell who is an innocent bystander, and who is a guy with a machine gun.

Sounds- 1
The sounds, although a notch better from the graphics, are still terrible. The driving of a car is just a very annoying roaring noise, and the radio although very novelty for a while, just repeats the same section of a song over and over and over until you just want to cry.
The sound effects are horrible. Shooting sound very rubbish, while firing a rocket just makes a PHEWWW noise, followed by a small exploson. Running somebody over or shooting them results in a nice scream, but that too wears out soon. Again, generally terrible.

Controls- 3
Although not over complicated, they are still more complicated than I would have liked. As opposed to just waling around, you have to ''accelerate'', even when not in a car. Awful. But having said that, switching guns is easy and fast.

Gameplay- 1
Oh dear. Looks like the makers of this game forgot something important- the gameplay. It consists of driving around, bumping into stuff, then going to a ringing phone with a criminal at the other end who coincidently no other guy on the street has picked up, and then driving ot a given location quickly to pick something up, then driving somewhere else to drop it off. Why? So that you can earn 1000000 dollars or some other crazy amount. Oh yeah, and when all the phones are used, you must drive around trying to find cars to get into to get more missions. Yay!

But wait! I hear you cry. There are weapons in this game. Surely that could make it better?
Sorry, but no.

Weapons- 3
There are four weapons in this game- Pistol, machine gun, flamethrower, and rocket launcher. That is it. They are all slow, but easy to toggle through. But the rocket launcher is a great laugh at first, to take it for target practice. Shoot cars in the road, and the hilarious AI in this game will stop any cars behind it. So they have watched a guy rocket launch a car, so they all stop. And the police? Sheesh, as opposed to shooting you from the car, they slowly get out, giving you lots of time to shoot them through the head. Thats very nice of them.

Replayivity- 2
Very good at first, but after beating the first mission, you will only play it for the cheats.

Overall- 1
Tut tut tut. Why on earth did somebody bother making this game? It would be good if there were more missions, better graphics, less repetitive sounds, and more weapons, but why?

Buy or rent- Hmm...
Only rent this game if you are a huge fan of games like crazy taxi AND have a lot of time on your hands AND have some cheats nearby to play with.

Rating:   0.5 - Unplayable

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