Review by Dracula AGN

""...mmph mph hmph hrmf hmph mmph...""

Well, as we all know, weekends can be quite boring when you got no plans. So, I decided to go rent a couple games... I picked up South Park, don't ask why... Well, the good news is it DID make me laugh. Where shall we start?

Story: There's a big, green meteor heading torward the little town of South Park, and freaky things are starting to happen... Right... Well, the good news is I can KINDA see this as an actual episode that would air. But, anywho, it's South Park. Does it ever make sense? Those damn kids tried to get a pig and an elephant to have sex once, remember? Good episode.

The Good: It's just like any other South Park episode.
The Bad: uh... yeah, it's just like any other South Park episode...
Overall Story grade: 6

Control: Well, You get right into the game and start walking around. It's pretty simple. You pretty much know the whole control concept within seconds.

The Good: So simple, anyone can play it.
The Bad: Still not deep enough for a FPS.
Overall Control grade: 8

Graphics: WOW!!! These are the BEST SNES FX-card graphics EVER!!!-- Oh, wait... this is Playstation... Seriously, this is a tad bit over Star Fox quality. It was good on SNES, not excusable for PSX. I normally don't mind graphics, unless it affects the gameplay. Trust me, you won't know where you are, and you'll get a headache after a while.

The Good: nuthin'
The Bad: everythin'
Over Graphics grade: 1

Sound: Yet ANOTHER thing I don't really worry about in a game, unless it affects the overall gameplay experience. Trust me, the first time you hear a Turkey running after you, you'll want to rip your ears off and feed them to some poor ethiopian kid... Same goes for pretty much ANY enemy that's after you. The music is slightly less as annoying. SLIGHTLY. But, on the good side, the voice-acting isn't TOO bad. Too bad it sounds like all the characters are talking into a funnel.

The Good: the main characters' voice acting asn't bad.
The Bad: ...Damn Turkeys...
Overall Sound grade: 3

Multiplayer: Here we go... This is probably the only GOOD part of the game... considering it still sucks. But, hey, if it weren't for multiplayer mayhem, Goldeneye probably wouldn't be so popular, now wouldn't it? Eh, too bad it never saved this poor game... Well, there's no need to explain multiplayer. You know what to do. ;)

The Good: The only reason why this game is getting a 3/10
The Bad: Any other of ''The Bad'' I've listed so far.
Overall Multiplayer grade: 7

Rent/Buy: Hey... Where's the option for ''Stay-away-from-this-steaming-turd?'' Oh well... Whatever you do, don't buy it. You can rent it if you feel like crying.

Overall Game Grade: 3/10
I love the TV show, seriously. Maybe if they scrapped the whole FPS idea, and went for something more platformy (Conker's Bad Fur Day comes to mind) just MAYBE this would be hlafway decent.

Summary: The first time you see how bad the graphics are, your eyes will bleed. The first time you hear a Turkey or a Clone running after you, your ears will bleed. The first time you pick up your controller for this game, your hands will bleed. The first time you start playing multiplayer, your friends will bleed. Please, save your blood.

Reviewer's Rating:   1.5 - Bad

Originally Posted: 12/24/03

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