Review by MallowOrnitier

"B-52's: Bang bang! On the whore baby!"

I know, I KNOW, I love this game, but let's face it- it ain't Chronicles. Such flaws should not be rewarded... I'll tell you why i love this game, and loathe it. (No, it's not cuz I get to ogle Lara, you perverts.)

''Paint a pretty picture for me...''

Eh... Graphics were better in Chronicles and TLR.... her ponytail is too bouncy, parts of her (and enemies) seem to disappear at times, it's REALLY dark... and remember Eidos's famous camera angles! Let's not start on that.

If you go back to Lara's house after you access the ''Choose Destination'' map, she'll be a two-faced little bit- er, adventurer! Uh-huh! ::Nods head.::

The FMV's are very well done, except Lara kinda looks like she had a lot of plastic surgery done to her... oh well. Nothing new there. The FMV's really saved the score...

''I just want to SIIIIIIING!''

Eh, music is almost non-existant in the game, although the opening music (the theme song) got stuck in my head to the point where I learned to play it on my keyboard... @_@ so it's that addictive. On another note, the voice acting is pretty good, but otherwise, Lara makes these really annoying porno movie sounds. Yes, lara, we know you've got an anatomically incorrect body and you're proud of it. Stop moaning when you push the blocks, though. And when you do everything else.

''Just let me take control of her for a while... i'll steer her into shore...''

TLR somehow got worse control, but control here is okay. For the TR series. Still takes until 38772 AD to turn around, jumps could be better, and don't get me started on lining up with objects and aiming... but otherwise okay. (Sprinting is fun, and there are so many torturous ways to kill Lara with a swan dive... >D Yeah, I'm mean aren't I.)

''Playas, they gonna play...''

It's okay I guess in gameplay... eh, who knows. Tedious puzzles, but there's the Many Deaths of Miss Croft to ponder... but there's also all the enemies... and various ways to maim em. And All Hallow's Eve is deadly fun. >)

''Reruns again?''

Who'd wanna play it again? ... oh, right, me when I'm bored and have nothing else to do... or when I wanna screw around in the London levels or the Antarctica levels... but it's enough the first time. otherwise, don't touch it.

''There you go again, making up stories...''

One peaceful day before man was created (or evolved, take your pick) the animals were relaxing all over the world. Until a big meteor whacked into the Earth and went boom. Then years later, Lara was stupid drunk, and decided to look for meteorite-related artifacts... how'd they work a giant spider into all this?!

''Okay, you'll get it for 3 days, $3000 a mile...''

Why? Read the above! (No, I'm not a fanatical TR hater, I love the series, they just tend to screw up...) Otherwise you'll waste yer money...

Reviewer's Rating:   3.0 - Fair

Originally Posted: 12/28/01, Updated 12/28/01

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