Review by Torn Receipt
"I just dont get it.."
When I had first heard about the Army Men games I was ecstatic, I was expecting this huge, wonderful gaming experience. I mean, what could be better than running around as a plastic man with a machine gun, blowing up rival men in the process for the greater good of the plastic world! But once I got my greedy little hands on the game and experienced it first hand. well...I just don't get it… I don't understand how someone can make a game this pathetic, lets start off with the graphics shall we?
ABSOLUTELY H-O-R-R-I-D, my goodness. I've seen better graphics on SNES games. The game is jagged unlike anything ever before seen (except maybe for Army Men 3D ). Crash Bandicoot has better graphics (not dogging it one bit).
Well, with that out of the way I believe it's time to move onto sound.
Am I firing a semi automatic or a cap gun?! The sounds are so..... well... DULL, to say the least, at times I even cackled when it came to firing off my ''automatic'' rifle. Every grunt sounds the same, it's like no one at the company has heard of ''Variation,'' at least one or two other sounds would have been appreciated. The music which is barely hearable is nothing more than BLaH at best. From the machine guns to the grenades, to the ambiance and the music the sound is horrible. It was almost a chore to play any further than level 1.
As a lot of you know, sounds and graphics don't make the game (....), so lets discuss the actual gameplay.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE! This game controls are nearly as bad, if not worse than those found in games like Silent Hill, or Fade to Black. There is no, I repeat, NO excuse for such poor controls. Whoever thought up the pivoting crap needs to get smacked up-side the head and kicked out of the office. I have Zero tolerance when it comes to control issues, this game is so frustrating simply because when you run into an area with 5 or 6 tan soldiers and you have to switch between which one you're shooting by the time you turn to face another you're dead. This game would have been FAR better off with a fully 3D type of control and perhaps a lock-on feature (like Zelda ). I really want to give this section a zero, but i like the number 1 more. =
If you can sit through more than half of this game you've got far more patience and tolerance for crap than anyone I have ever met, 'nuff said.
Yes, I typo, and yes I can't spell half the time, but I know a crap game from a good game and this just happens to fall under the category of ''Crap.''
Reviewer's Rating: 0.5 - Unplayable
Originally Posted: 12/03/01, Updated 07/26/02
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