Famous Quotes

Big Smoke: "I'd like two number 9's; a number 9 large; a number 6, extra dip; a number 7; two number 45's, one with cheese; and a large soda."
(ordering fast food)

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Cluckin' Bell Employee: "Only 10% guano!"
(Guano is made from feces, and often used in fertilizers, if you don't know.)

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Ryder: (points gun) Give up the money! This a raid!
Pizza Co. Employee: Ryder! Not this again!
Ryder: It ain't me, fool.

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Big Smoke: All we had to do was follow the damn train, CJ!.

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Cluckin' Bell Employee: "How may I further degrade myself, sir?"

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Big Smoke: Respect has to be earned, Sweet - just like money.
Sweet: So what you saying? You don't respect me?
Big Smoke: What I'm saying is...
Sweet: Speak up!
Big Smoke: I'm hungry!

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Emmet: Aren't you Beverly Johnson's boy?
CJ: That's right.
Emmet: Brian! Say, ain't you dead?

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Ryder: Let's storm the place.
CJ: Hold up. Let's creep in, grab the guns, and bounce out.
Ryder: Yeah, yeah, I got it - ninja-style. Right... (inside home, shouting) Come out you old bastard!

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Pulaski: Crime has certainly gone up since you got back, kid.
CJ: Just doing my part for the community.

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CJ: After five years on the East Coast, it was time to come home.

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Ryder: Het, CJ, tell me why I didn't finish high school.
CJ: Because you been dealing drugs, man, since the age of ten!
Ryder: No, that ain't it.
CJ: Because you went and put hands on that teacher for wearing Ballas colors!
Ryder: No, that ain't it either. It's 'cause I'm too intelligent for this s***, man.

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OG Loc: Hey hey hey, it's OG Loc, homie, and I'm gonna kick it a little something like this... (rapping) Hey yo', when I come through up in the place, you don't want me to call with a gun in your face... I feel it harder, than anybody in the world could do, just like a...
Man in Toilet Stall: Yo'! That s*** sucks! Damn! (leaves)

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OG Loc: I want you to take that motherf***er out!
CJ: Kill him?
OG Loc: Well, I didn't mean date him.

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Scipio: Hey, man. Take me back to Dogg's mansion.
CJ: Not today. Today we're taking the scenic route, via the bottom of the ocean!

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CJ: Lady, I'm a God-fearing, peace-loving, man of the people.

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CJ: Come on. Let's go.
Catalina: You get your sorry ass in here right now, Carl Johnson, or I shove a f***ing hand grenade up it.
CJ: A'ight, I'm coming.

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Sweet: At least I got principles.
Kendl: Oh, and I guess that makes you an upstanding American.

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Emmet: (accidentally fires own gun) Hey! Who shot at me?

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CJ: Hey.
Big Smoke: Whassup, man? Wanna go to prison?
CJ: What?

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Woozie: I've gone over the layout to this place, so I know it back to front. Everybody, follow me! (walks into a wall) Damn, the devious bastards have changed the layout!

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Triad: We're heavily outnumbered, but if we all keep our heads, we should kick ass! (head is blown off)

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The Truth, telling CJ what they need to do before they get busted, "Shoot? I'm a Hippie! The only thing I've ever shot is acid. I heard of a dude who snorted it once. Thought his nose was a kangaroo and the moon was a dog!"

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CJ landing off a building after his chute did not open, a dude approached his body lying on the pavement and states:

Woah, flatlined.

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Big Smoke: "All you had to do was follow the damn train, CJ!"

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Ceasar and CJ headed to the train station to meet with gangsta's and finally take out the Los Vagos from Los Santos forever,
"Hey Cj, there was something I wanted to talk to you about. Its about your sister, I want to pop the question. Here, use my cell phone. Nah man, the question, I want to ask her to marry me."

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Cj with a hooker on the top ramp, 10th level, of the parking ramp in Las Venturas..

Hooker: Ahh, ahh ohh baby

CJ: Go on Girl. I hope you're a girl....

Hooker: You just got herpes baby!

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Cj with a hooker on the top ramp, 10th level, of the parking ramp in Las Venturas..

Hooker: with a deep voice Baby you the best.

CJ: loud and surprised Are you a girl or a boy?....

Hooker: with a deep voice IN SPANISH You were the biggest baby!

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