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    FAQ/Walkthrough by Bkstunt_31 / Thnikamanl33t

    Updated: 09/28/10 | Search Guide | Bookmark Guide

    
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    Bkstunt and Thnikaman present:
    
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    (         -=-   GameFAQs.com's September 2010 FAQ of the Month!   -=-         )
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                                _   .-.         ___
                               | |__| |       ,'   `. /|
     _,----._                ,-'  _,| |      /    _  '/                    ,'|
    \,-.  _  \          _,--.'-. |  | |,-.  /   ,' \,'                     | |
       | | `. | ,--._  (,--. \ | |  |  _  \ |  /  _,-. ,'\,-.  ,--._       | |
       | |  | |/ ,-. )  _,-' / | |  | / `. ||  \,'    \\,  _ \ '--. ||\,-. | |,'\
       | |  | || \,'/  / ,'| | | |  | |  | | \    _   | | |_) | ,-' ||  _ \|   ,'
       | |  | | \  <,-.\ |_| | | |  |_| / /   `--' \  | |  _,' /,'| || | \ |  <
       | |  | |  `.__,' `.__ '.| |     \,'     _   |  | | /    \`-' || | | | . `.
       | |  / |             `-'| | |`.       ,' |  /  / | |     `-'\||_| '-| |`./
       | |,' /                 | | | |      / /\| /  /  | |                '-'
       |  _,'                  | '.| /      | \_,' ,'   |,'
       '-'                     '-._,'       '.__,-'
    
    
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      | | | |__   ___  _ __   __ _ ___    ___ | |_  | | | |_ _ __| |_ _   _  ___ 
      | | | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \ / _` / __|  / _ \|  _| | | | | | '__| __| | | |/ _ \
      | | | | | | (_) | | | | (_| \__ \ | (_) | |   \ \_/ / | |  | |_| |_| |  __/
      \_/ |_| |_|\___/|_| |_|\__, |___/  \___/|_|    \___/|_|_|   \__|\__,_|\___|
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    - ASCII art by my friend DomZ -
    
    
    Hey everyone, welcome to Bkstunt's and Thnikaman's walkthrough of Deathspank:
    Thongs of Virtue. Just like the first game, Deathspank, Thongs of Virtue is jam
    packed with humor and fantastic dialog. It also has a TON of quests, I counted 
    something around 162 quests by the time I finished. 
    
    
    In the walkthrough, we'll list all the quests and provide a general guide. In 
    all honesty, I didn't find Thongs of Virtue to be too hard. There's a lot more
    spread-out quests here compared to the first game, and it's a bit harder in 
    general. But there's also much better weapons and variety, as well as new 
    co-op choices (Sorry, still no online co-op). 
    
    
    First though, here are our emails, so you can contact us for FAQs (Check the
    guide first), questions, or comments:
    
    Bkstunt: Gregorio31 @ gmail.com
    
    Thnikaman: Thnikaman.Thnik @ gmail.com
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                                  - TABLE OF CONTENTS -
    ==============================================================================
    
       Note: Press Ctrl+F and enter in the code to skip to that section.
    
    
    I. Controls.............................................................[DS01]
    
    II. Walkthrough.........................................................[DS02]
    
    	Prolouge: War is hell on my allergies....................[DS201]
    	Part 1: Rambo and the Nun................................[DS202]
    	Part 2: Something sinister is cooking....................[DS203]
    	Part 3: The fall of Santa Claus..........................[DS204]
           (Optional Area) The Snowy Mountain Dungeon................[DS205]
    
    III. Quest List.........................................................[DS03]
     IV. Runestones.........................................................[DS04]
      V. Trophies...........................................................[DS05]
     VI. FAQ................................................................[DS06]
    VII. Credits and other ramblings........................................[DS07]
    
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                                     Controls                         
    =====================================================================[DS01]===
    
    
    As I mentioned before, the game is pretty much self-explanatory, and I'm sure
    you can figure it out within minutes, but here's the control scheme:
    
    
                    _,.--.,_                              _,.--.,_
                   |  _____ |                            | _____  |
                   |-'     `'.__________________________,'`     `-|
                 ,'    __     `.                      ,'    .,.    `.
                /     |  |      \        SONY        /     (/_\)     \
               !   __  \/  __    |                  !  ,-.  `-'  ,-.  |
               |  |__ >  < __|   !__SELECT   START__| ([ ])     ( O ) !
               !       /\        ___`-.        ,-'     `-'  ,-.  `-'  |
               |\     |__|     ,'   `. \      / ,'   `.    ( X )     /|
               | `.           /       \ |    | /       \    `-'    ,' |
               |   `-.____,-. \       / |____| \       / ,-.____,-'   |
               |           ,'\ `.___,' /      \ `.___,' /`.           |
               |          /   `-.___,-'        `-.___,-'   \          |
               \         /                                  \         /
                \       /                                    \       /
                 `.__,-'                                      `-.__,'
    
    
    Left stick - Move
    Right stick - Pan camera
    Select - Open Quest Log (R1 and L1 to navigate pages)
    Start - Pause the game
    R1 - Open Inventory screen
    L1 - Open Map screen
    R2 - Block
    L2 - Target enemy
    D-pad/Shape buttons - Use equipped items
    
    
    And there you have it. Pretty much everything is self-explanatory, it's
    exactley the same as the first game, so if you played that you'll be at home
    here.
    
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                                  Walkthrough                        
    =====================================================================[DS02]===
    
    
    Here it is, our guide to Deathspak: Thongs of Virtue!
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                        Prolouge: War is hell on my allergies                    
    ====================================================================[DS201]===
    
    
    The game begins with a cutscene insuring us that this is still in fact a true 
    story. The cutscene brings us up to speed on Deathspank's activities since
    his journy north into "Le battlefield". It is at this point we find that 
    Deathspank has been captured by orque soldiers and is forced to peel potatoes 
    but all these things and more are about to change. You'll also have a new main
    quest. What, you don't want to peel potatoes, do you?
    
    A quick note on co-op, the second player can drop in and out at will. This time
    around, you'll have to choose between Sparkles the wizard from the first game
    or Steve the ninja. Also, if you bought the game at release you can choose 
    the DLC character Tannako the warrior-spider. Each character has their own
    unique moves and shares the health bar with Deathspank.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Escape the POW Camp
    From: Storyline 
    Reward: Um, escaping? 
    How to Accomplish: Um, fight your orque captors! Just keep going and you'll 
    finish this quest.  
    
    Ok, lets go over a few Deathspank-related notes right quick. I'm sure you can
    tell how to use weapons, and can tell that you can equip up to eight items 
    using your controller. You can also auto-equip armor in the item menu, which 
    is nice, but it doesn't auto equip weapons.
    
    We're not going to tell you the location of every single chest, or when you 
    get better items, so be sure to explore a bit and check out any new weapons 
    that you pick up. Some weapons have elemental attributes as well, so keep that 
    in mind. The health meter and experience meter are self explainitory, but the
    purple thing in the middle is your justice meter. You will get special weapons
    that you can equip and use for special attacks when the justice meter is full 
    (these weapons have purple arrows behind them). You'll also get special 
    runestones that let you combine justice and melee attacks to do even better 
    special attacks. 
    
    Deathspank himself as one of the thongs, which allows him to resurrect at any 
    nearby outhouse, meaning you are immortal. You can also use the outhouses to 
    warp around. Quests are all kept tracked in your quest menu, and you can use
    fortune cookies to get hints on the quests. Some quests will require you 
    traveling around the world, and some you will be holding on to for a LONG time,
    so keep that in mind to. Ok, let's play.
    
    
    Armed with a potato pealer and your pow gear you set out down the path towards
    your orque captors. Stabbing the first guard to death with said pealing device
    you will obtain a semi-auto pistol (thats right, it's time for a little bang
    bang action). Make sure to open the nearby chest as it contains a fire axe for
    your convenience. As you walk a bit further down the path you will find a
    great number of orque guards stationed there, many of which have double axes. 
    The first one you kill should drop one of these and you can finally replace
    your pealer. In this same area is a higher level orque with a "tesla rod". 
    Kill him and this will be your first WEAPON OF JUSTICE!!! Ahem, sorry. Now head
    west through the gate that is now open and you'll recieve a quest.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Make an Escape Plan
    From: Storyline
    Reward: FREEDOM (What, you wanted a cookie?)
    How to Accomplish: Talk to your fellow POW's, they might have something 
    interesting to say.
    
    First you'll talk to the American soldier as he's the first one you'll come 
    to. He'll inform you of the overall plan and suggest you obtain a uniform to 
    fool the bridge guard.
    
    Next, you'll speak with the British chap north of the American. He'll tell the
    orques deep dark secret and major weakness: they can't read. Which makes your 
    new task of forging documents much MUCH easier. What horrible guards. 
    
    Lastly, we'll talk to the French fellow to your east (Gee, it seems like the 
    whole world is in on this war and like it's not the first time either. Hmmmm.) 
    He likes to talk in codes and informs you that to cross the bridge you'll need
    to firgure out the password somehow.
    
    Now the gate to the east will open allowing you to progress.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Find Orque Gloves/Boots/Shoulder/Vest/Helmet
    From: POW Soldier 1 (American)
    Reward: A charming new set of orquish diggs
    How to Accomplish: Once you go through the gate leaving the camp head north on
    the road. Kill jungle beasts for the clothes they ate. Be carefull of the big 
    beasts as they spawn a group of smaller ones when they die. Be sure to equip 
    the orque clothes.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Find an Item to Write With
    From: POW soldier 2 (British)
    Reward: One step closer to escape
    How to Accomplish: East of the camp you'll find some wooden walkways with some 
    interrigator chickens on them. Kill all the chickens and keep heading east 
    until you find a rather large one. Kill him and recieve a quill.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Find an Item to Use as Ink
    From: POW soldier 2 (British)
    Reward: Even closer to escape...
    How to Accomplish: Travel north to where all the jungle beasts are, then head 
    west into the jungle. Here you'll be attacked by jungle squid tenticles. Fight
    your way further west and you'll see a much larger tenticle. Kill this and it
    will drop some ink. 
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Find Paper to Write On
    From: POW soldier 2 (British)
    Reward: Two steps closer to escape
    How to Accomplish: Continue north from where you fought the squids and you'll
    come to a rather disgusting place filled with latrene goo's, thats right it's 
    a latrene. Once you have killed all of the smaller goos attck the big one. Once
    it is dead you'll recieve some toilet paper.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Forge Orque ID
    From: POW soldier 2 (British)
    Reward: A falsified ID for clubing and crossing drawbridges
    How to Accomplish: Combine the pen with the ink and the inked pen with the 
    paper in your inventory.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Learn the Secret Password
    From: POW soldier 3 (French)
    Reward: Secret and forbidden knowledge of liberation
    How to Accomplish: As you approach the latrene you'll hear two orques talking
    to each other about how much they hate their detail. One of them is occupying 
    the outhouse. This is when you learn that gnomes when eaten in exccess causes 
    constipation. The other orque being the good guy that he is helps his friend 
    relax by telling him their soothing password "and the mighty Orque Barks Back".
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Get Across the POW Bridge
    From: POW soldier 1 (American)
    Reward: Um... you get across the bridge
    How to Accomplish: Once your fully decked out in orque garb, have combined the 
    pen ink and toilet paper, and you've committed the password to memory, go east
    of the control point and begin a dialog with the orque bridge guard.
    After you've proven your Orqiness you'll be allowed to pass.
    
    Once the bridge is down head across and kill the orques. Then you'll see a 
    gate next to which is a first aid station that will dole out potions for you. 
    So stock up on potions and head through the gate . Now begins the revolution 
    er... um... well, it seems all your POW buddies have been killed with fire. 
    Well now it's up to you. Head north and kill all the regular orques but avoid 
    Ze Commandorque until they are all dead. Once they are begin a dialog with 
    commandorque. Now you'll change into the jungle murder set which resembles 
    Rambo. Nice. He will begin to attack you. He's level 4 so you should be careful 
    and the missles that he calls in with his monocle will kill you in one hit. 
    Hit and run tactics work well. You'll also need to kill the little 
    orques that come to help, but that should be pretty easy. Don't forget to 
    block if you need to and use your justice meter.
    
    Remember that you can get a full justice meter by doing a perfect block, you 
    just need to time your block to right before he hits you. You can get in a lot
    of back hits by using the telsa rod.
    
    Once he's dead you'll collect his monocle which is a great weapon of justice
    that turns your enemies against one another. Now follow the path west through
    another gate to the north and you'll come to a cave
    
       Once you exit the cave you'll walk up a path where once again you'll meet 
    Sandy the tall armored red head who lied to you in the first game and then 
    didn't save you from the POW camp. But I digress. A cutscene will reveal to 
    you the secret of the thongs.
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                            Part 1: Rambo and the Nun                        
    ====================================================================[DS202]===
    
    
    After the cutscene you'll get several main quests and a package.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Cuisine
    From: Sandy
    Reward: A mighty thong
    How to accomplish: Kill Worten, the cook. Keep playing, you'll have to do this
    one.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Generosity 
    From: Sandy
    Reward: A mighty thong
    How to accomplish: Kill.... Santa?!? Sniff... Keep playing, you'll have to do 
    this one.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Compassion
    From: Sandy
    Reward: A mighty thong
    How to accomplish: Kill the nun with a thousand names. Keep playing, you'll 
    have to do this one.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Disgruntled Delivery
    From: Sandy
    Reward: Machine gun 
    How to accomplish: Deliver the package to the Army General up north in Le
    Beaux.
    
    
    Keep going and you'll see a soldier up north a bit, who has a quest for you.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Recon the Comm
    From: Cowardly soldier
    Reward: Oddly warm gloves
    How to accomplish: Find the comm tower to the west of the outpost.
    
    Ok, the battlefield is a fun place, but for god's sake don't hit the bombs, as
    they'll kill you outright. You'll also find a odd looking chest nearby that 
    has a circle, zigzag, and a teardrop on it. Remember that for later, as you 
    can fashion your own keys for these types of chests. 
    
    You can go back to the cowardly soldier for another quest after scouting the
    comm tower.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Radio Signals
    From: Cowardly soldier
    Reward: Oddly warm boots
    How to accomplish:  Quick! Run the dynamite to the tower. I suggest you kill
    the orque's around it first.
    
    
    Again, you can head back to the cowardly soldier for yet another quest.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Behind Enemy Lines
    From: Cowardly soldier
    Reward: Flaming monocle runestone
    How to accomplish:  Head west of the blown-up comm tower and kill Col. Orque.
    
    Col. Orque isn't too hard, use your new monocle to take away his troops and 
    lay the smack-down on him. You'll get your first runestone as a reward, which 
    is awesome.
    
    Runestones let you combine weapons and use them both at the same time, when 
    your justice meter is full, for awesome attacks. Try it out when you can.  
    You'll also get a side quest.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: The Plan
    From: Cowardly soldier
    Reward: Machine gun
    How to accomplish: Take the plans to the Army General in Le Beaux Kuckelle.
    
    
    Now head to the Navy dock (remember your map is L1) to talk the soldiers here 
    for two more quests.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Melon Protection
    From: Outpost soldier (navy docks)
    Reward: Undeath grenade
    How to accomplish:  Buy the soldier a new helmet from Poque LaTere's Armory in
    Le Beaux Kuckelle.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Mega Bomb
    From: Outpost soldier (navy docks)
    Reward: Greatest generation shoulders
    How to accomplish: Use the bazooka to blow up the bomb past the bridge.
    
    
    
    Now head down the docks and kill the enemies around the huge bomb. Now use your 
    bazooka to blow the bomb to pieces. Fun. Be careful and don't run in to fast, 
    there's exploding barrels that sometimes don't explode all at once and can kill
    you.
    
    As soon as you destroy the bomb and cross the bridge, a plane will take the 
    bridge out. This gives you a side quest to use an outhouse to get back to the
    outpost soldiers. 
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Use an Outhouse
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Learning how to teleport?
    How to accomplish: Simply warp to the outpost soldiers via an outhouse. 
    
    
    You can now do the side quest for the outpost soldier by buying him a helmet.
    The shopkeeper will also have two packages for you to deliver.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Find the Taint
    From: Poque Latete
    Reward: Well, you get to meet a pirate. 
    How to accomplish: Deliver the package to Captain Taint, in Scurvyville.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Off To Farmer Blizbane
    From: Poque Latete
    Reward: Minor crit. Potion
    How to accomplish: Deliver the package to Farmer Blizbane, who lives north of
    Le Beaux Kuckelle.
    
    
    Ok, Enter Le Beaux and talk to everyone, you should  get several quests to do. 
    Also check out Fort Discharge nearby for some more. You'll get ALOT of quests
    after checking out the city and the fort.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Map out the North Pole
    From: Army General
    Reward: Molten warfare helm
    How to accomplish: Sail by the buoy's around the North Pole.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Chunk of Gold
    From: Army General
    Reward: Molten warfare gloves
    How to accomplish: Take the heart of gold from Madame Primp in Strumfuquel. 
    You'll need to get her to change her costume and than try and open the odd
    chest in her room. Make sure you have the right key from the locksmith.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Gun Parts
    From: Army General
    Reward: Bazooka
    How to accomplish: Collect the gun parts scattered around the catacombs that 
    you access from the Sanctuary.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: For the War Effort  
    From: General's assistant
    Reward: Spinning tomahawk
    How to accomplish: Collect 50 pieces of scrap metal. These are scattered about
    and drop from killing orques.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Marching Orders
    From: General's assistant
    Reward: Undeath sword
    How to accomplish: Deliver the marching orders to the captain at the navy docks
    (complete after the Dammit! quest).
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Odd Looking Chest
    From: Locksmith
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Examine the odd looking chest north of Le Beaux.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Vacuum Tubes
    From: Radio host
    Reward: Incendiary grenade
    How to accomplish: Destroy robots for the vacuum tubes at the Eisenbein 
    residence.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Lost Father
    From: Lucy Eisenbein
    Reward: Undeath grenade
    How to accomplish: You'll find Lucy's father past Tricore-7, stuck in a cage.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Mercy
    From: Town medic
    Reward: Fire axe 2: Hot Steele
    How to accomplish: Retrieve medical supplies from the Sanctuary.
    
    
    Wow, a lot of quests, right? We can do some of the side quests now, but a lot 
    of them we will have to wait awhile for, some of them (like the North Pole 
    quests) we can only do near the end of the game. Go ahead and try to go to 
    the navy docks. What? This can't be! As you head to the captain you'll be 
    mugged! Gah. You can also talk to the captain for another quest.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Dammit!
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Undeath bazooka
    How to accomplish: Find the thieving orc south of the first broken wooden 
    bridge and kill him.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil for the Ship
    From: Navy captain
    Reward: Machine gun
    How to accomplish: Retrieve 10 oil barrels from the eisenbein house north of 
    Le Beaux. The captain will leave a note telling you he's at the dock near the 
    jungle in the east.
    
    Well, so much for that. Well, remember the broken wodden bridge? Head there 
    and kill the orcs nearby to recover the orders. Than give it to the navy 
    captain. Head north to find that chest for the locksmith, this one has
    a mushroom, diamond, and a teardrop. We can now come back if we need any oddly
    shapped keys. You can get the one by the first outpost now if you want,  
    remember it had a circle, zigzag, and a teardrop on it.
    
    Head north and take the path east to go to the Eisenbeing residence. Here you
    can collect oil and kill robots while collecting vacuum tubes. Yea! 
    
    You'll get a new quest from the jounalist guy while having your oil delivery
    delayed.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Photojournalism
    From: Radio host
    Reward: Minor healing potion
    How to accomplish: Use the camera to take pictures by the lights arouhd the 
    Destroyed City.
    
    Head further north and you'll come to Rarmer Blizbane's farm. Here you can drop
    off your package to him and get another side quest. 
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Rampaging Robots
    From: Farmer Blizbane
    Reward: Orb of brief invulnerability
    How to accomplish: Kill rampaging farm robots for Farmer Blizbane.
    
    
    You can head north east to get to the robots. Killing them is easy, but try 
    not to smack the little purple beasts as they pack a punch. Also, check out 
    the bridge to the east on your way back. You'll get two more quests. Also 
    make sure to inspect the dead adventurer to the west of Farmer Blizbane's 
    place.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pesky Skeletons
    From: Farmer Blizbane
    Reward: Heck from heaven
    How to accomplish: Kill skeletons and bring their thigh bones to Farmer 
    Blizbane.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Lower the Orque Drawbridge
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Access to the bridge
    How to accomplish: Go northeast from the destroyed city and around to the 
    peninsula to find a lever that will let you across the bridge.
    
    
    Head further north to reach the destroyed city. As you kill the orc's you'll 
    notice that you'll get photo op opportunities, so take some photo's if you 
    want. Just look for the street lamps for good photo spots. You can also find
    ol' Ima and Strunken to the northwest of the destroyed city. After talking to
    the two (who really shouldn't be married),  you can than grab three lemons 
    from the tree. Don't leave, Strunken!!
    
    Well,  he didn't leave too far, you'll find him south from Ima again. Like 
    always, Strunken want's dung. Sigh...
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Manure Matters
    From: Strunken
    Reward: Help from heaven
    How to accomplish:  When you fight jungle donkey's in the Scurvy Jungle, 
    collect their dung and give it to Strunken.
    
    Fight your way east and you'll meet an old friend, the greem exterminator. 
    Needless to say...
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Queen of the Lost Jungle
    From: Greem exterminator
    Reward: Calvary sword of super carving
    How to accomplish: Use the greem whistle on the jungle mating stone and 
    defeat the greem queen.
    
    Head around to the peninsula while killing the orcs. Here you can lower the
    drawbridge that you saw earlier as well as find another odd chest, this one 
    with a heart, a diamond, and a teardrop. You can get another side quest from 
    the radio host as well.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: On the Air
    From: Radio host
    Reward: Machine gun
    How to accomplish:  Fix the five radio towers scattered around Farmer 
    Blizbane's property.
    
    The radio towers are spread out, one is by farmer blizbane, and you'll find 
    four more past the drawbridge into blizbane's farmlands. You can also do the 
    skeleton quest here.
    
    The farmlands also have commanders that you can't hurt yet, so leave them 
    alone for now. Keep fighting through the farmlands to the field outhouse and 
    you'll get two more quests. You can also get another quest from the radio host
    after repairing all of the towers.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Find a Detour
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Access to new areas.
    How to accomplish: Keep playing, you'll complete this automatically.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Shoot the Recruits
    From: Outpost soldier (by field outhouse)
    Reward: Minor healing potion
    How to accomplish: Kill the giant pips in the snowy mountains and collect 
    their teeth.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Heart of Darkness
    From: Radio host
    Reward: Help from Heaven
    How to accomplish: <eet with Scoop the Reporter. You can find him in the 
    Jungle, near the south. (Or use the Jungle Outhouse). 
    
    You can also do another side quest for Blizbane after killing the skeletons.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Thighbone Delivery
    From: Farmer Blizbane
    Reward: Orb of invulnerability
    How to accomplish: Take the thighbones to the demon witch north west of the
    Sanctuary. 
    
    Anyway, head south of the field outhouse and you will find another radio 
    tower, as well as the navy captain. Give him his oil and you'll be given a 
    quest. 
    
    Oh, you'll also find our good buddy the thongolith researcher a bit down the 
    road as well. I should also mention that I gathered 50 scrap metals by now, 
    and you should be getting close as well.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Save the Seamen
    From: Navy Captain
    Reward: Poison bazooka
    How to accomplish: Rescue the seamne from the jungle greem camp
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Thongolith of Compassion
    From: Thongolith researcher
    Reward: Great white north gloves
    How to accomplish: Use the instrument at the thongolith of compassion and 
    fight off the waves of enemies it spawns. Elemental weapons advised. 
    
    Well, the thongolith is just down the path a bit, so if you do take it's 
    readings you can go back to the researcher for another quest. 
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Thongolith of Cuisine
    From: Thongolith researcher
    Reward: Desperadic gloves
    How to accomplish: Use the instrument at the thongolith of cuisine and fight
    off the waves of enemies it spawns. Elemental weapons advised. 
    
    Keep heading through the jungle and you can find Scoop, the reporter who's 
    papers you've been reading, down to the south. He'll give you a story to
    deliver to the radio host. You can also find a mutinous pirate nearby, but 
    he's a bit too hard for us right now. Just remember that he is east of Scoop.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Scoop's Secret Story
    From: Scoop
    Reward: Minor crit potion
    How to accomplish: Take the story to the radio host in Le Beaux.
    
    
    A bit north west of Scoop is the spelunker, again returning from deathspank. 
    Of course, he'll want you to go get crystals for him. You'll see him standing 
    near caves throughout the game. Every single time all you have to do is get
    the crystal's from the cave's for him.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Jungle Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Very easy, like all the spelunker's quest. Go into the cave
    to get the crystal for him. 
    
    You'll also notice a call lever inside the cave, which is used for a quest
    in the future.
    
    
    Now head south into the greem camp, take out the greems, and rescue the four 
    sailors scattered about from their cages. The navy captain will once again 
    take off and leave a note for you. Ok, If I rescue a crew, you should wait for
    me! Right?!?!
    
    You can find the captain by teleporting to the field outhouse and heading west,
    where he will be anchored up. Returning his crew will net you another quest. 
    Oh, you can also do the greem queen quest now and get another greem queen 
    quest from the exterminator if you so choose.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Queen of the High Plains
    From: Greem exterminator
    Reward: War hammer
    How to accomplish: Use the greem whistle on the high plains greem mating stone
    and kill the queen
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Embattlements go Boom
    From: Navy Captain
    Reward: Hunting sword
    How to accomplish: Use the C4 to destroy the four orque trooper embattlements
    that you have fought through already.
    
    You can do that fairly easily by visiting the embattlements, with three 
    explosions north of Farmer Blizbane (one directly north, and two further up by
    the destroyed city, around on the penisula), and one east of Farmer Blizbane.
    
    Ok, with all that questing out of the way, go to the Mountain Base outhouse 
    and keep going down the trail. You'll find some Pips who, like the last game, 
    pack a punch, so remember to block and use your justice meter. My advice? 
    Fire grenades, baby!
    
    Or, y'know, bazooka's work well too.
    
    A bit further on you'll find an odd treasure chest with a heart, diamond, and 
    a star. You'll also meet the brave... er.. cowardly spelunker again. 
    New quest!
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Rocky Path Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Get the crystal from the rocky path cave. 
    
    Keep heading down the very curvy path and you'll run into the home of Plaid 
    Pete, who, as you'll see, is drunk off his ass. Deathspank remarks that he'll
    talk to him later, when it's plot significant. Haha, this game crack's me up. 
    
    
    Keep heading down the path and you'll reach the scurvy jungle. Sounds like a 
    nice place. You can also visit Scurvyville, which has quite a few quests for 
    you. ARR!
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pirate's Best Friend
    From: Insecure pirate
    Reward: Major Stealth Potion
    How to accomplish: Finds some parrots on chicken island for the pirate. 
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Treasure Map
    From: Cpt. Taint
    Reward: Feeling heroic?
    How to accomplish: Find the captains mutinous pirate members:
    
    1. In Scurvyville Jungle
    2. East of Scoop, in the Jungle
    3. Past Hanna's house, by the UFO
    4. By the Crazy Husband Spelunker Cave
    5. On spider island
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pirate Without A Cause
    From: Treasureless pirate
    Reward: Grenade
    How to accomplish: Bring back a generic treasure for the tresureless pirate 
    from skeleton island. 
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pour Le Roi et Le Pays
    From: French pirate person 
    Reward: Epic chest of awesomeness
    How to accomplish: Plant the 10 french flags across the world.
    
    
    Find the "Stand de Drapequ"'s around the world.
    1. East of Scurvyville
    2. By the Sanctuary
    3. Fort discharge
    4. Sierra mountains (as far west as you can go)
    5. By the Oasis
    6. By Worten's
    7. Outside of  Worten's
    8. Spider Island
    9. Strumfuquel
    10. Dino graveyard.
    
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Lemon
    From: Cpt. Taint
    Reward: Falchion
    How to accomplish: Get the lemons from Strunkens farm, nortwest of the
    Destroyed City.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Keys to the Ship
    From: Cpt. Taint
    Reward: A ship!
    How to accomplish: Get the keys from Plaid Pete. You'll need the rum and 
    lemons before you get the ship, though. 
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Rum
    From: Cpt. Taint
    Reward: Hammer of Frozen Dooms
    How to accomplish: Kill Worten to be able to buy rum from Strumfuquel.
    
    
    
    Quite a few quests, some of which we can't do right away. Some we can. Some 
    will take literally the whole game to do.
    
    If you want, go ahead and do the plaid pete quest, it's a rather fun fight and
    you can get a shiny new runestone, the Undeath Railroad. You'll also get a 
    wishing coin, which we'll need later. You can also complete the jungle donkey
    dung quest for Strunken, which nets you another quest:
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Dino Droppings
    From: Strunken
    Reward: Poison club the second
    How to accomplish: Kill a tyrannoraptor for its dung. It is located in the 
    dino graveyard. 
    
    Well, for now head east through the cave (after killing the donkey's in the 
    nearby jungle). Keep going through the caves and you'll complete the detour
    quest you got long ago. Nice.
    
    Kill the commanader (again, bazooka) for some nice equipment and keep heading
    north. Killing the purple pips here will give you their teeth as well. You'll
    also find the spelunker again to the northwest of this area.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Snowy Mountain Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done.
    
    This cave also has a special runestone for us, the Nature Tesla Rod. Nice.
    Go into the next cave. Squash the puny ants until you see the dragon further 
    in. Well, this is Big Poppa Dragon. Get in a few cheap bazooka shots and than 
    go to fight him. When he's about half way dead he'll use a big fire breathing
    attack, during which you can get in some more bazooka shots or cheap shots at
    his back.
    
    He's not too hard, I won easily at level 6.
    
    When he dies you'll get ANOTHER runestone. This one is the Undeath Calvary. 
    Again, nice!
    
    
    Okay, for those of you that bought the game when it first came out, you'll
    notice that there's a cave to the east, called the mysterious cave.
    
    Inside you can find a frozenish monk, with another quest.
    
    This area is meant to come back to later, as the enemies in the narrow paths 
    are extremly hard for now, but keep this area in mind. I went through it by
    myself at level 15 and Thnikaman and I went through it co-op at level 13. It's
    a great place to level as well as get the best armor in the game from.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: A Silent Quest
    From: Frozen monk
    Reward: Shank's Mega-Bloody Motor-Saw
    How to accomplish: Kill the Taking Tree at the end of the Dungeon.
    
    Anyway, back to the main quest.
    
    Keep heading down the path and you'll enter the Dark Forest. You'll also find
    another journal page from Dr. Eisbein. You'll als see a Salmonella Ghoul 
    chicken thingy that you'll get a quest from.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Feed the Salmonella Ghoul
    From: The Salmonella Ghoul
    Reward: Help from heaven
    How to accomplish: Lure a stoopid chicken from the Sanctuary to the Salmonella
    Ghoul. Yummy.
    
    Keep heading north and go right to the Dark Forest Lake. You'll find another 
    chest that has a circle, diamond, and a crescent on it. You'll also encounter 
    good old Rich Cabin nearby, which of course means more side quests. You'll 
    also find the Spelunker nearby as well.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Rub It In
    From: Rich Cabin
    Reward: War Hammer
    How to accomplish: Give the magazine to Derek Oil, in his estate west of 
    Strumfuquel.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Crystal in the Dark
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done.
    
    This cave also has a nice runestone for us, the Flaming Calvary.  
    
    Head back out and kill your way towards the Sanctuary. You can also explore 
    around for a few treasure chests. Here you can find some of the medical 
    supplies and listen to stories from the tourist monks (make sure to listen to 
    these stories, guys), but the monk on the stairs won't let you enter. He keeps
    saying only those near death may enter.
    
    Well, you know what needs to be done. Go forth and .... almost die! Yes, now 
    that your heart beat is on the screen, you can now go in. Now you'll see the 
    nun scolding some people for walking on the grass. Urgh.. don't you hate that 
    rule? What else is grass there for? Now talk to these two monks and convince
    Darren to go skinny dipping, than you can run down to the lake and take their
    monk gear. 
    
    Equip it and head back to the Sanctuary where you saw the nun enter. The monk 
    will enter the building, so follow him. You'll also find a library book on the
    floor, as well as a new quest.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Enter the Catacombs
    From: Plotline
    Reward: Entrance to the catacombs
    How to accomplish: You need to burn five forbidden books in the sanctuary room.
    One is given to you right off the bat. you can find three more in the library 
    in Le Beaux. The last one you need to get from Mr. Frangtrangle, who is past 
    the Tricore-7 robot.
    
    
    
    North past the Sanctuary is another Eisben journal. Nearby is Hanna's place. 
    She's the witch that Blizbane wanted the package deliverd to. Once you do 
    you'll be given several new quests (talk to the well too, for another quest).
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Make a Wish
    From: The talking well by Hanna's place
    Reward: Minor Healing Potion
    How to accomplish: Rind wishing coins to give to the talking well. You can 
    give the well additional coins you find at anytime.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Heroic Remains
    From: Hanna
    Reward: Poison Club
    How to accomplish: Find the tomb of the unknown ghoul slayer west of the dark
    forest outhouse.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Do Bearalopes... In the Woods
    From: Hanna
    Reward: $240
    How to accomplish: Kill bearalopes to get their droppings. Geesh, this game 
    and droppings... You'll have to wait for the bearalopes to respawn to get all
    the droppings.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Red Alien/ Green Alien
    From: Hanna
    Reward: Minor Stealth Potion
    How to accomplish: Kill red aliens and collect their goo behind Hanna's place.
    
    Head up behind Hanna's house to meet your first alien!! Well, it's not too 
    special, it seems Deathspank already knows the creature. 
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: A Safe Return
    From: Green alien
    Reward: Ray gun
    How to accomplish: Recover the space ship parts from the red aliens.
    
    
    Explore the area behind Hanna's house to find the red aliens, where you can 
    get the ship parts and goo. There's also a pirate deserter back here, but's 
    he's level 16 and has a ranged weapon, so leave him alone for now.
       
    Once you get Hanna's quest done, you'll get a new quest.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Magical Ward
    From: Hanna
    Reward: Command killer sword
    How to accomplish: Return to Farmer Blizbane
    
    
    Return to Farmer Blizbane and you'll get a new undead killer sword and a new 
    quest.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Undead Commanders
    From: Farmer Blizbane
    Reward: $3960
    How to accomplish: Use your new sword to kill the undead commanders. 
    Finally, sweet vengence.
    
    Now you can keep heading up pash Hanna's house.
    
    You can also find Dr. Eisbein up the road, who will give you another quest.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Father in a Cage
    From: Dr. Eisbein
    Reward: Super soldier spade
    How to accomplish: Kill the mark 6 robots to finD the key punchcard. The 
    robots are a little ways past Dr. Eisbein. 
    
    The robots are easy to kill and only up the road a little ways. After freeing
    the good doctor, he'll want you to deliver plans to his daugher Lucy. Warp 
    back to Le Beaux. Since thats so easy to do, I'll give you the quest that Lucy
    gives you after you deliver the plans as well.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Tricore-7 Plans
    From: Dr. Eisbein
    Reward: Undeath grenade
    How to accomplish: Warp to Le Beaux and talk to Lucy.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Robot Scans
    From: Lucy Eisbein
    Reward: Minor Speed Potion
    How to accomplish: Scan a Mark-7 robot with the scanner Lucy gave to you. They
    can be found at Wortten's Factory.
    
    
    Be careful how far you go up, the Tricore 7, which is the huge robot looking
    background thing, can kill you in one hit. So walk around it! You'll 
    eventually meet the very large, obnoxious Leprechaun. He'll give you a riddle
    to cross his rainbow bridge, but no matter what you answer you will be wrong. 
    After a while you will insult him and have to fight.
    
    He grows bigger every once in awhile and will push you back, but just keep at
    him and he'll fall fast enough. Just swinging Fire Axe 2 was good enough for 
    me to kill him. Once he's dead he'll drop a runestone, Poison Railroad, as well
    as a library book that you'll need to get into the Sanctuary. Since we have all
    the forbidden books, lets head back there. Equip all your monk gear again, 
    especially if you are auto-equiping equipment. Don't forget to take your 
    auto-equip option off at this point.
    
    Go into the temple of altars and place all the books onto the pedestals than 
    hit the switch. Now move onto the center of the star and head down into the 
    catacombs. 
    
    Down here the monks will welcome you since you are wearing your monk robes. 
    None of the catacomb inhabitants will harm you, in fact, so keep it that way 
    for now. You can also find gun parts scattered about. Head downwards and here 
    you'll come to the first real puzzle of the game.
    
    Hit the switches in this order to pass:
    
    1. Brown 
    2. Orange
    3. Red
    4. Brown
    5. Red
    6. Blue
    7. Yellow
    8. Green
    9. Yellow
    
    
    Now you can move onward to the store room, which holds plenty of barrels and 
    a TON of gun parts. You should be able to finish the gun part quest by 
    visiting here.
    
    Now go through the dungeon and you'll eventually see the Nun surronded by five
    different barriers. Go down each of the colored paths and talk to the silent
    monk brute's, each of who will give you an item. Use that item on the device
    nearby to take down the barrier.
    
    You can now talk to the Nun, who will tell you that she controls the powers
    of the five gods that you learned about from the tourist-monks. She'll than
    turn into each of the gods, or rather make the statues come to life.
    
    Now we have a choice, we can either fight the statues or talk our way out of
    it. Talking our way out not only saves us a fight, but it makes the Nun 
    weaker in the end.
    
    The first statue, Beatrice, will knock all your weapons out of your hands. I
    recommend using the fire axe 2 to continually hit her, and when it happens 
    just run up and pick up the fire axe to continue hurting her. After she's dead
    you will have all your weapons again.
     
    To talk your way out of it, just answer: "Nine years of work couldn't capture 
    it's perfection."
    
    
    
    The next statue, Lucy, will hit you taking away money. Ouchy ouch. Smack her 
    through your wallet pains as fast as you can. 
    
    To talk your way out of it, just answer: "I give all that I have to the 
    downtrodden."
    
    
    The next statue, Susan, will slow you down and poison you. She's not too bad, 
    honestly, just block when you need to, use your justice, and smash her to bits.
    
    To talk your way out of it, just answer: "That which makes flowers bloom and 
    birds sing."
    
    
    Albert, the next statue, will make you run away from it... and sometimes will 
    shrink you. He is also resistant to fire and has a very weak projectile 
    attack, so use your ranged weapons.
    
    To talk your way out of it, just answer: "The last thing you ever lifted."
    
    
    The last statue, Walter, will randomly make all your items move to differnt 
    slots, but he hits like a girl and your items will go back to their original 
    slots after a little while, making Walter no challenge at all. Plus, I mean, 
    you can SEE where your items are so just look and hit whatever button your 
    weapons pop up on. 
    
    To talk your way out of it, just answer: "I'm confused."
    
    
    After going through all the gods, the Nun will start to fight, using her ruler
    as a weapon. Hit her with your best weapons. She's not hard at all since you 
    talked your way through the gods, maybe requiring one potion throughout the 
    fight, and afterwards you'll recover the thong of compassion and be treated to
    a cutscene. You'll also get the gate key to the west. Nice.
    
    Notice, the Nun will be harder depending on how many gods you fought instead 
    of talked to, as she will inherit their special attacks, so best to talk your
    way through.
    
    
    Afterwards, you will again meet up with Sandy and get two new quests.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Open The Gate To The West
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Access to the west
    How to Accomplish: Kill the nun.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Cantankerous Delivery
    From: Sandy
    Reward: Revolver
    How to Accomplish: Deliver the package to the sheriff of Strumfuquel
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                      Part 2: Something sinister is cooking                       
    ====================================================================[DS203]===
    
    
      Once you pass through the gate to the west you'll see an elevator. Take it 
    up and suddenly you'll be in the wild west. Up ahead the road forks if you go 
    west you'll quickly find a man and  woman standing next to a stage coach. 
    
    Talk to them to recieve your first quests. Walk a bit to the west and you'll 
    discover the road to Strumfuquel has been blockaded by the White Rock 
    Banditos.
    
      Also, If you head east down the path you'll find the secret greem camp. 
    Here you can complete the queen of the high plains quest. Beware the robber 
    greems when they hit you you'll drop cash. You can pick it back up but it's 
    still a chore. 
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: White Bandito Blockade
    From: Approaching the blockade
    Reward: Passage into Stumfuquel
    How to Accomplish: Complete the damsel and stage coach driver quests.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Neither Rain Nor Sleight...
    From: Stage Coach Driver
    Reward: 3 major stealth potion
    How to Accomplish: Travel North past the ghosts and skeletons ( remember your 
    nature club for the ghosts) into the White Bandito's camp you'll find the 
    mailbags scattered about their camp.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Fancy Hats
    From: Damsel
    Reward: $11960
    How to Accomplish: In the same White Bandito camp as well as on the road 
    leading up to it you'll find the hats. You'll see them as the are hard to 
    miss.
    
    
    Now head south again to the stage coach and turn them in and you'll recieve 
    yet another quest from the stage coach driver. 
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pretty, Pretty Hand
    From: Stage coach Driver
    Reward: Terrible Lizard boots
    How to Accomplish: Head back to the Bandito camp and kill the orque chief to 
    get his hand and take it back to the coach driver.
    
    While your up that way you should head west from the camp until you find some 
    giant ants kill them (Note: fire ants are immune to fire damage) and head 
    north where you'll find the spelunker again. 
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Ant Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key
    How to Accomplish: Just get the crystal. However, be careful of the lvl 12 
    ants inside.
    
    Now return to the stage coach driver with the pearl hand. Now since that 
    bussiness is complete the path to strumfuquel is now open. So continue west 
    until you find the town here a plethora of quests awaits you. 
    
    At the North end of the town is a flag post for the "Pour Le Roi Et Le Pays" 
    quest.
    
    Go into Madame Primps Brothel and speak to her. Turns out she's a prostitute 
    and she's got a heart of gold. She also has a lot of costumes if you want the 
    trophy you have to pick every postition from the menu. Once she goes to change 
    check the chest for what shapes it needs. Once you get the key go back and get 
    her to change again. When she does open the chest and she will attack you kill 
    her and she will drop her heart of gold which will give you the chunk of gold 
    you need for the chunk of gold quest.
    
    [Note: Here's a list of all the costumes that you can see, as given to me by
    Robin Gwin. Thanks Robin!]
    
    1 Totally Traditional.
    2 Patty cake.
    3 Make heroic whoopie.
    4 The birds and the bees.
    5 Double von prong.
    6 Bishops scepter.
    7 Gorillas wheelbarrow.
    8 Rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle.
    9 The saucey sasquatch.
    10 The isoseeles inversion.
    11 The one eyed pirate.
    12 Chunky peanut butter.
    13 Purple pagoda.
    14 The twirling fantastic.
    15 Spider monkey.
    16 The skillful zombie.
    17 The forbidden planet dance party.
    18 You must be this high to ride.
    19 The john gault railway.
    20 The plaid bagpipe.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: From One Law Man to Another
    From: Stage Coach Driver
    Reward: 3 Major Healing Potions.
    How to Accomplish: Just go to Strumfuquel and deliver it to the sheriff.
    
    You'll find the sheriff near the center of the town so that you can deliver 
    the note from the stagecoach driver and sandy's package to him.
     
    He'll also have some quests for you. Head further west from the sheriff and 
    you'll see the Haunted Crotch bar. Hurray, surely nothing could stand in the 
    way of piratedom now lookout rum here I.... oh. It seems Grimtub Hobblepotty
    the bartender and owner of the bar has had his licour license stollen by this
    worten woman we've heard so much about. Drat and double drat.
    
    There are A LOT of quests you can get here. Again, some we can do and some will
    wait for awhile.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Nitro Run
    From: Engineer
    Reward: Terrible Lizard helm
    How to Accomplish: Before accepting this quest head south along the tracks and
    kill the fire ants there. Then return to the engineer get the Nitroglycerine 
    and take it south to the conductor.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Liquor License
    From: Grimtub Hobblepotty
    Reward: The ability to purchase Rum as well as other potables.
    How to Accomplish: You'll get Grimtub's Liscence after killing Worten.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Rattler Snakeskin Boots
    From: Sheriff of Strumfuquel 
    Reward: 8 grenades
    How to Accomplish: Go back to the white rock orque camp and kill orques until 
    they drop the boots. 
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Going Home
    From: Sad Widow
    Reward: 10 undeath grenades
    How to Accomplish: Once you speak with her take her east towards the haunted 
    farm (the one north of the elevator), being careful not to get too far ahead.
    
    Once you drop her off at the farm she'll ask you to find her missing husband.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: The Lost Husband 
    From: The Sad Widow
    Reward: Chest of the Golden Lion
    How to Accomplish: The Husband is further down the western area, to the 
    northwest of Worten's.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Trillion Dollar Bill
    From: Banker
    Reward: 5 ice grenades 
    How to Accomplish: Go to the Blue Basin Orque camp and kill the Orque chief 
    there.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Money Troubles
    From: Banker
    Reward: Fire resistance potion
    How to Accomplish: Deliver the theft report to Derrik Oil.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST- Queen of Greem Island
    From: Greem Exterminator
    Reward: Orb of wicked invulerability
    How to Accomplish: Once you have a ship travel to Greem Island, kill the queen
    greem there and take her mating gland.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: The Waiting Deputy
    From: Sheriff of Strumfuquel
    Reward: Awesome armor potion
    How to Accomplish: Once you've completed all the quests in the Blue Basin
    Bandito camp to the west the blockade they put up will go down. Just on the
    other side of it to the North is the deputy. Deliver the warrant and evict 
    those troublesome peace loving monks.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Sandy Snowbellies
    From: Prospector
    Reward: Plate Shoulders of Siding
    How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Sandy Desert and use the blasting 
    caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Blood Mountain Bacon
    From: Prospector
    Reward: 5 poison grenades
    How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Blood Mountains and use the blasting
    caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Dino Rashers
    From: Prospector
    Reward: Necklace of Use
    How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the dinosaur graveyard and use the 
    blasting caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Prickly Pork
    From: Prospector
    Reward: Gold Key
    How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Cactus Forest and use the blasting 
    caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
    
    
    Once you complete the snake skin boots quest the sheriff will have another 
    quest for you to do. 
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: 37.8 Liter Hat
    From: The Sheriff of Strumfuquel
    Reward: Venomous crown
    How to Accomplish: As you walk don the tracks you'll come across another
    blockade. Just south of this blockade is the red orque camp kill their chief 
    and you'll get the hat.
    
    Travel south following the tracks and you'll see a path leading north with a 
    sign that says Dereck oil over it. This path will lead you to the tar pits. 
    Here you will not only find Derrik Oil (In the northern most part of the tar 
    pits), whom you must take Rich Cabins magazine to, but also two spelunker 
    caves (one in the east and one in the west).
    
    On the path towards the western cave before the dino graveyard you'll find 
    another flagpost.
    
    Once you enter the dino graveyard you'll see the very large Tyrannoraptor from 
    which you must collect poop for Strunken.   
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Tar Pit Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key
    How to Accomplish: Get the tar pit crystal from the nearby cave.
     
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Grave Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key 
    How to Accomplish: Get the grave crystal from the nearby cave.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Hand
    From: Derrik Oil
    Reward: Gold Key
    How to Accomplish: Return to the dino graveyard and kill some Raptors until 
    they drop the parts.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Wealthy Bastard
    From: Derrik Oil
    Reward: Awesome armor potion
    How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine.
    
    Once you return to Rich Cabin he of course has another magazine. Prepare 
    yourself, the media war is on. I recommend using your portable outhouse for 
    this part.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Proving His Worth
    From: Rich Cabin
    Reward: Poison grenades 
    How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Banking and Gouging 
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Promotional wristwatch
    How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Look who's Running Things
    From: Rich Cabin
    Reward: Calvery Sword of Mega Carving
    How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Financial Philistine
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Self winding pocketwatch
    How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Who's the Boss
    From: Rich Cabin
    Reward: Orb of undead might
    How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Nouveau Riche 
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Venomous boots
    How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine.
    
    Once you get done with that ordeal you may as well go turn in the dino poop 
    to Strunken. No point carrying that stuff around, and he'll want you to gather 
    more dung.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Frozen Treats 
    From: Strunken
    Reward: Great Axe
    How to Accomplish: Get frozen manure from the frost giant island, north of the
    Island cave. You'll need the ship for this.
    
    
    Once you've spoken with Strunken return to the Dino graveyard and gather the 
    oil derrik parts for Derik Oil. Once you return them to him he'll have some 
    more quests for you.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Fixin's
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Ice Bazooka
    How to Accomplish: Just head south from Derik to find them, they're all over 
    the tar pits. Fixing them will spawn oil monsters, so be ready.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Monsters
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Incendiary Grenade
    How to Accomplish: Kill oil monsters in the tar pits and collect their bits.
    
    
    Once you return to Derik Oil he'll ask you yo kill the big mama oil boss to 
    ensure the oil monsters don't come back. You'll have to go to the oil cave in 
    the tar pits and kill her. He'll give you the scented oil you'll need to draw 
    her out.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Big Oil Boss
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Awesome stealth potion
    How to Accomplish: Head to the oil cave in the eastern part of the tar pits. 
    Once inside use the scented oil Derik gave you to draw her out. Once "she" 
    comes out kill her, it's not very difficult. Gather her head and return to 
    Derik Oil (though I'm not sure the oil monsters have heads).
    
    Now that you've finished all of the Derik Oil quests head south and follow 
    the tracks further west. Here you'll run into the Damsel and Stage Coach 
    Driver again.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Fancy Jewelry
    From: Damsel
    Reward: Desperadic Helm
    How to Accomplish: Head west along the tracks until you reach the blockade.
    From here head south into the Red Renegade Bandito camp, the jewelry will be 
    scattered about the camp.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Stagecoach Wheels
    From: Stage Coach driver
    Reward: Venomous chest
    How to Accomplish: Kill orques in the Red Renegade orque camp and they will 
    drop the wheels.
    
    Also in this camp is the 37.8 Liter Hat you need for the sheriff. Just kill 
    the orque chief.
    
    Once you've gathered everything you need from the camp return to the Damsel, 
    Stage Coach Driver and Sheriff. 
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Gunslinger Gloves
    From: Sheriff
    Reward: Boots of siding
    How to Accomplish: Go to the Blue Basin Bandito camp and kill their chief.
    
    Before you move on, head west of the stage coach into the sandy desert. 
    There are a good many quests to complete in this area. The first of which 
    you'll get from the worthless coward of a big game hunter. He's directly off 
    the beaten path near an outhouse. From there head west and you'll meet Lawrence
    of the sandy desert. Follow the western edge of the desert south from Lawrence 
    and you'll eventually see a spelunker near a cave (you know what that means). 
    This cave also happens to be one of the caves you need to collect a sample 
    from for the prospector. Go southeast from the cave and you'll see an oasis 
    where there's not only a hermit with a quest but also another flag post for 
    that French lady. 
    
    While your there head to the center of the desert and kill the dragon there. 
    Beware though it's a doozie.  The Mammoth Ice Tusk from the Snowy Mountain 
    cave helps a ton.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Worm!
    From: Big Game Hunter
    Reward: 250 Sub Machine gun (pffft)
    How to Accomplish: You'll find the queen south of where Lawrence is standing 
    just kill her and she'll drop the shell.
    
    Once you return with the shell the hunter will have another creature for you 
    to kill.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Silk Road
    From: Big Game Hunter
    Reward: 5 Grenades (double pffft)
    How to Accomplish: In the southeastern corner of the desert you'll find the
    spider amongst some skeletons, just kill it and return to the hunter with the
    spinnerete.
    
    Once you turn in the spinnerete the hunter has another quest that he would 
    like to take credit for doing.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Royal Pip
    From: Big Game Hunter
    Reward: Ice bazooka 
    How to Accomplish: For this quest you'll have to travel to the blood mountains.
    Head west along the tracks until you see a small camp of orques. From here head
    south down the path. The first thing you'll see is a small group of pips, one 
    of which (a big white one) is the pip king. Kill him and collect his head.
    
    Of course the big game hunter is the type of guy who's always got something 
    else to kill, que next quest...
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Nice Rack
    From: Big Game Hunter
    Reward: 300 machine gun (sigh)
    How to Accomplish: For this quest you'll need to return to the Dark Forest. In
    the cave north of Rich Cabin you'll find the bearalope sire. Kill him and take
    his antlers to the hunter.
    
    Once again the hunter requests you kill yet another beast.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Just the Tip 
    From: Big Game Hunter
    Reward: Terrible Lizard Chestpiece
    How to Accomplish: You'll have to travel all the way back to the Destroyed City
    for this one. The tenticle monster is south of the Destroyed City and just 
    north of where the zappers are located. Once it pops up kill it collect it's 
    tip and return it to the hunter.
    
    Finally, he has now had you kill all the things he's always wanted to kill.
    You can now move on to Lawrences quest.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Enlisted Help
    From: Lawrence of the Desert
    Reward: Terrible lizard gloves
    How to Accomplish: Apparently recruite means kill because thats what you do. 
    Head south from Lawrence and you'll find a small camp filled with ghouls. Kill
    them to collect their fingers and return to lawrence. 
     
    And since thats all you have to do for him we'll go ahead and knock out the 
    spelunker quest. Remember to use the blasting cap in the cave to collect the 
    sample. Just use it anywhere in the cave. 
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Sandy Desert Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key
    How to Accomplish: Get the crystal from the nearby cave.
    
    Well that was easy, let's see what this hermit wants. Oh, he has a mighty quest 
    for us. Well, not a quest persay, he basically tells us to go get killed and 
    leave him alone. Who knew a hermit could be such a jerk. Of course Deathspank, 
    being the do-gooder that he is, takes it as a quest...
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: The Most Dangerous Creature
    From: Hermit
    Reward: None (That's right, when you assume someone is giving you a quest when
    they're not they don't usually reward you).
    How to Accomplish: Kill the hideous stinker and bring it's head to the hermit. 
    You'll find it northwest of Worten's.
    
    
    It'll be a bit before we can kill this mighty beast. So let's head on down the 
    tracks. First person you see will be the engineer again, turns out these 
    blockage things are a constant threat to the railroad. Nearby, to the 
    northwest of the engineer, is the thongolith of Cuisine that you needed to run
    tests on.
     
    West of that is the Cactus Forest and another cave. Once again this is one of 
    the cave the prospector wants you to check out so use your blasting cap 
    inside.  
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Cactus Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key
    How to Accomplish: Get the crystal from the nearby cave.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Dynamite Shuffle
    From: Engineer
    Reward: $14,200
    How to Accomplish: Your best bet here is to scout your way through the blood 
    mountains until you come to a bunch of people. Once you've discovered the 
    shack outhouse take it back to the red orques outhouse, get the dynamite, take
    the red orques outhouse to the shack outhouse, head noth to the tracks follow 
    them to the blockage and give the dynamite to the Conductor. But, be quick 
    about it as the dynamite has a short fuse.
    
    Now that the blockage is cleared you can find out what all those people want.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Spare Change
    From: Man Missing His Money
    Reward: $19,520
    How to Accomplish: Head back along the path you came from and kill the green 
    shirted orques there. Then head North to the small orque camp you saw earlier 
    and kill them. This should give you all the money you need.
     
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pass the Pan
    From: Prospecter Dude
    Reward: $16,800
    How to Accomplish: The Monks are the ones that have his pan, and are North of 
    the engineer that is further west down the tracks. You'll need to complete the
    deputies quest in order to anger the monks so you can kill them and loot the 
    pans from their persons.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Stagecoach Jacking
    From: Stagecoach Driver
    Reward: Plate Chest of Siding
    How to Accomplish: Head further west down the tracks till you come to an 
    engineer. Once you do, begin walking south down the nearby path. This path 
    will lead you into the Blue Basin Orque camp. You'll see a stage coach sitting
    in the camp, you can't miss it. Interact with it to recover it. Then return it
    to the stage coach driver
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Now With Wings!
    From: Damsel
    Reward: Gloves of Siding
    How to Accomplish: When you enter the Blue Basin Orque camp you'll see the 
    feminine products littering the ground. Gather them up and return them to the 
    damsel.
    
    In this camp you can also find the gunslinger gloves for the Strumfuquel 
    Sheriff and the trillion dollar bill for the Strumfuquel Banker. Both of which
    are dropped by the orque chief there. Once you complete these you may as well 
    turn them in. In fact the banker will reward you with another quest.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Foreclosure
    From: Banker
    Reward: $32,400
    How to Accomplish: Post the foreclosure signs at each of the 9 strumfuquel 
    mortgage houses.
     
    PLACES TO FORECLOSE:
    
    1. Eisenbiens Residence- North of Beaux Kuckelle
    2. Ima and Strunken's Farm- North of Destroyed City
    3. Hanna Haybenstance's House- South of the Monistery
    4. Haunted Farm- East of Strumfuquel
    5. Strumfuquel House- North end of Strumfuquel
    6. Lawrences Hut- west of Big Game Hunter
    7. Railway Shack- Near the Shack outhouse
    8. Burnt Up House- Sierra Mountains south of Lewis Clark
    9. House in Le Beaux- West of the General in Le Beaux
    
    Not all of these are accesable now, but you can do several of them if you wish.
    
    
    Now go back to the shack outhouse and follow the tracks further west. 
    Speak with the engineer you come across to get his quest.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Acid Reflux 
    From: Engineer
    Reward: Venomous gloves
    How to Accomplish: Once he hands you the acid there is no time for anything 
    but running it down the tracks. So thats what you do run west down the tracks,
    ignoring the robots in your way, and give the acid to the conductor. The acid
    will start to take chunks out of your health, so use a health potion if you 
    need to, just to be safe.
    
    Once you've help desolve the troublesome boulder you'll notice a sign to the 
    north which reads Worton's. Next to this sign is the deputy you need to talk 
    to. He needs you to enforce the law for him.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Eviction Notice
    From: The Deputy
    Reward: $16,800
    How to Accomplish: Head east down the tracks until you see a rocky road to the
    north near the engineer platform. Follow this path and you'll soon come to a 
    temple plagued with peace loving monks. Yuck!! To the far right is a sign 
    upon which you can place the eviction notice. This of course will drive the
    peacful monks to acts of violent violence.
    
    Once you've rained justice upon the monks pios heads and collected the 
    prospecting pans that drop you can turn those quests in respectively.
    
    If you keep heading north past the factory you'll come across the spelunker 
    again.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Crystal of Blood.
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key
    How to Accomplish: Enter the cave to the west and retrieve the crystal.
    
    On your way to the cave you'll have to fight the legendary hideous stinker. 
    Once you kill it you'll recieve not only it's head but also an Undeath Shovel 
    runestone.
    
    This cave is one of the caves you need to get a sample from so drop your 
    blasting cap and look out. Also, inside the cave is one of the mutinous 
    pirates you need to kill. By now you should definitely be able to kill him 
    off.
    
    Outside the cave is the Sad Widow's Crazy Husband. You know the one she wanted 
    you to find. Well, he's not to keen on returning to his wife.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Rio Loco
    From: Crazy Husband
    Reward: Shoulders of the Golden Lion
    How to Accomplish: Enter the cave and kill the queen, she'll drop the keepsake
    you need. Return to the Haunted Farm and give it to the sad widow.
    
    Well I guess she took that well. While your out and about return to the hermit 
    with the stinker head he didn't ask you to get. Suprised you didn't die, the 
    hermit sends you off to get a well guarded idol from the Jungle.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: The Temple of Idol-ness
    From: Hermit
    Reward: Unsafe gloves
    OBJECTIVE- Head to the jungle and find an idol to return to the hermit.
    How to Accomplish: You may remember earlier that there was a lever you couldn't
    use in the jungle cave. Well you can go there now and use it. At first there 
    will only be three guards (which hardly seems "well guarded") but once you pull
    the lever a small army of them will come. Once you despatch the guards head 
    across the now bridged gap and get the idol. Return it to the hermit for your 
    reward. Have some justice ready to go and a health potion handy.
    
    Now he'll tell you once again to get lost. Which of course Deathspank takes 
    as a challenge quest to lose himself. WOW!!
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Intro to Existentialism
    From: Hermit
    Reward: None
    How to Accomplish: Leave. Go. Go AWAY. Leave the hermit ALONE.
    
    With those quests complete there's nothing left to do but enter Worten's 
    factory. Of course the secretary will stop you as soon as you enter. Turns out 
    it's difficult to make an appointment to see Worten. Now if only I were an 
    employee. 
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Birthday Song
    From: Secretary
    Reward: $8.50 an hour with benifits after a year
    How to Accomplish: Talk to Tina at her taco stand in Strumfuquel. She'll only
    sell you the birthday cake special if it's your birthday. You can use the
    library card as ID but it has to have todays date on it. To find out the date
    pick up a newspaper from the newspaper stand outside the Haunted Crotch in 
    Strumfuquel. If you're library card does not display the correct date you can 
    change it at the Le Beaux Kuckelle library. Then return to Tina who will 
    begrudgingly sing you the birthday song. Remember it and sing it to the 
    secretary afterwards.
     
    NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Drug Test
    From: Secretary
    Reward: The comfy knowledge that your drug free
    How to Accomplish: In the southern most part of the factory you'll see a door
    to the infirmary, inside is the drug-testing machine. At this point you know 
    what to do.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Uniform
    From: Secretary
    Reward: Fitting in with the crew
    How to Accomplish: In the eastern end of the factory you'll see the breakroom 
    door. Enter and take the vest off of the corkboard. You'll need to collect 6 
    pieces of flair from the torn vests that the orque ninjas drop. Combine them
    in your inventory.
    
    While inside the factory be sure to get a scan of the mark-7 robots. When your 
    in Le Beaux Kuckelle to change your library card turn in the quest to 
    Lucy Eisennein.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Destroy the Tricore-7
    From: Lucy Eisenbein
    Reward: Free the enslaved robots
    How to Accomplish: Go to the Tricore-7 in the Dark Forest. Place the
    programmed crystal on the ground near the tricore-7. Then, kill mark 6 robots 
    in the area. The discharge from them will damage the Tricore-7. Make sure to 
    kill the healer bots as well.
    
    Once you've got the uniform, the song and the drug test report head back to 
    the secretary. She'll give you a swipe card you need to access the restricted 
    area of the factory.
    
    This area is full of traps to avoid such as pumping pistons, a burning floor 
    room, and a area where condiments drop on your head.
    
    Once you pass these areas the door to wortens kitchen will be before you.
    When you enter you'll see worten before you. After you talk to her you'll find 
    out what her secret ingrediant is. Once you are enightened (or disgusted)
    the battle will begin.
    
    First, before you fight you'll have to return to the Le Beaux library 
    and check out the book how to speak Japanese which will also give you a trophy.
    
    Now, return to the arena and speak with the Japanese judge. He'll tell you his 
    favorite foods which you then tell to your adopted orphan daughter what 
    to get. she'll put them in the oven and out comes the dish. Give it to the 
    judge and he'll order his ninjas to attack Worten. After a brief fight she'll 
    fall. Sandy will show up with a package and a cutscene for you. You'll also 
    get the Ice Jackhammer Runestone and the liquor license.
    
    Take the liquor license to the Haunted Crotch to get some rum, and you can 
    finally get that pirate ship you akways wanted.
    
    (Bk's thoughts on the chef: Easy as hell, I was level 19 and using Shank's 
    mega chainsaw. Don't know if cooking matters, I didn't do the Japanese quest 
    before fighting Worten, but it's a good idea to. If you didn't, don't worry, 
    you can still learn japanese afterwards. I didn't really see her use any
    special moves.)
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                          Part 3: The fall of Santa Claus                      
    ====================================================================[DS204]===
    
    
    After the fight you'll get another cutscene, as well as the Ice Jackhammer 
    runestone. You'll also get a liquor liscense, meaning you can finally get rum!
    You will also get a new side quest from Sandy. Use the nearby warp to exit.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: I'm Sick of Deliveries 
    From: Sandy
    Reward: Nothing
    How to accomplish: Take the package to the thongolith researcher in 
    Strumfuquel.
    
    
    Well, we might as well go to Strumfuquel to deliver the package and get our 
    rum. If you haven't gone west of Worten's yet, go ahead and check it out now.
    You'll also discover Lewis Clark (witty) needs some help.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Gone With the Rain
    From: Lewis Clark
    Reward: Unsafe Helmet
    How to accomplish: You'll find the items scattered throughout the Sierra 
    Mountains, so just explore a bit. 
    
    A bit south from Lewis you can find another foreclosure... well what's left of
    it anyway. This should be your last forecloser house, if you're missing any, 
    check the list by the quest name (The quest name is Foreclosure). Make sure to
    grab the TNT while your at it. You can find Lewis's supplies scattered around 
    this large area, so just explore and grab them all up. You'll also run into 
    the spelunker again (what is this, the dozenth time?) who will, of course, 
    have a quest for you.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Sierra Mountains Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done.
    
    
    Well, when you're ready, go talk to the engineer, and you'll get a cool 
    cutscene as well as the "well-educated" trophy. You'll also have made a path 
    through the mountain. Good job! There's also a french flag holder nearby, so 
    grab it. The area in the cave is a tribute to all the people at hothead games 
    who made Deathspank. And yes, you can kill them. But why would you want to do 
    that???
    
    Ok, now lets go get our pirate ship. Yes! About time, right? Well, we can only
    get on and off at docks, but now we can explore quite a bit. Oh, before I 
    forget, you can also visit the library to learn japanese and get another 
    trophey (and a cool cutscene).
    
    
    NOTE: I also had over $2,000,000 dollars at this point, so I bought the last 
    two runestones from the weapon shop. They are:
    
    Flaming Tomahawk  (fire weapon / tomahawk)
    Ice Tomahawk (ice weapon / tomahawk)
    
    
    We have some options on what to do, since the ocean is a fairly big place. You
    can do several of the side quests now, such as the parrot parts, since chicken 
    island is a short ways north of Scurvyville. Skeleton Island, with the generic
    pirate treasure, is also nearby to the west. Greem Island is also to the west,
    it's the bigger one. You can kill the final queen greem there. There's also a 
    cliche island betwen chicken island and greem island, that has a dead man and 
    a treasure chest. 
    
    Sailing north east you'll notice shamrock island, which doesn't have anything 
    worth noting besides an outhouse, and than another island a bit further north 
    east which has the island cave and a quest from the spelunker.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Island Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done.
    
    And that's the last we'll see of the spelunker. The island north of here is 
    frost island, where we can do Strunken's frost giant poop quest. Now we may as
    well go visit the island to the far west, which is spider island. There's 
    another outhouse here as well as a pirate to kill and a french flag to plant.
    Also, sail south of spider island to find an island not on the map that's yet
    another tribute to the hot head games staff. You can kill the orcs and get 
    another outhouse here. For turning in the map to Cpt. Taint you'll get a new 
    quest.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Taint's Treasure
    From: Cpt. Taint
    Reward: Petty cash
    How to accomplish: Sail to X island and take out the mutinous pirate captain.
    
    
    Well, after that you should be done with all your side quests, leaving us with
    three main quest. Now let's map the north pole, just use the ship to sail 
    around it and hit all the buoy's, than report to the Army General. You'll now 
    have a new main quest, which you might as well do know since we have nothing 
    else to do (you have the option of talking to the general whenever you want to
    storm the north pole).
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Storm the North Pole
    From: Army General
    Reward: Access to the north pole
    How to accomplish: Talk to the Army General.
    
    
    
    Well, poor soldiers... they die so needlessly. Anyway, after the cutscene 
    you'll be at the north pole, where you can chop down the orcs and do the last 
    thongolith researcher quest. You might as well do the thongolith quest now, as
    the reideer pens are blocked off for now. Head north to meet Santa Claus. After
    that you'll be in a new location with a new quest.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Muffle The Mirth
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Stop Santa from knocking you out.
    How to accomplish: Hit levers 1 and 3 to find the exit.
    
    
    Well, this place is fun. Full of Santa's letters and no way out. Well, ok, the
    no way out is a lie, as all you have to do is hit levers 1 and 3 to make a 
    bridge to the cell with a door, leading to the reindeer fields. You can hit 
    other combinations to get potions if you wish. 
    
    Head north and take out Santa's sleigh team. Rudolph has some charging moves 
    and a nose-laser, but should be no challenge for you. Afterwards equip the 
    ear muffs and head over to Santa again.
    
    
    You'll now have to face Santa's coal monster, which fight like a ice giant 
    from the ice dungeon, so just block and hit until you get it down to 
    half-health. When it's around half health it will sprout flames and send out 
    burning embers which act like bombs, so equip your best ice weapon and finish 
    it off.
    
    
    Afterwards Deathspank will make Santa-ka-bob and Sandy will reclaim the thong,
    telling you to go to her secret base to have all revealed to you.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Secret Base
    From: Sandy
    Reward: Access to the secret base.
    How to accomplish: Take the mini thongolith to the thongolith researcher and 
    than use the mini outhouse out of your items menu.
    
    
    Well, once you show the thongolith research the mini thongolith, he will give
    you a teleporting outhouse that will take you to... the moon?!? Apparently the
    secret base is on the moon. Huh... Here, take the path to the left to find an 
    armor set from the future as well as a Zero G fire extinguisher. You can use
    it to put out the Zero G fire, of course, next to the thongolith of peace. 
    Keep heading north and fight your way past the space marines (take THAT, Halo!)
    until you get to Sandy. This leads to one very big decision...
     
    
    Do you let Sandy kill you, or do you fight? 
    
    Choose whichever choice you want, there is no "wrong" answer.
    
    If you fight, you'll go up against Sandy. She will teleport around and smack 
    you. She can also call in space marines, turtles with bombs strapped to them, 
    and a UFO to rain fire down upon you. The space marines should be laughable to
    you by now, especially if you have the Mammoth Ice Tusk. Kill the turtles with
    your ray gun, and just run away from the UFO. Keep hitting Sandy with your best
    weapons (preferably the Mammoth Ice Tusk) and she will fall. 
    
    
    Whichever ending you choose, congrats on beating Deathspank: Thongs of Virtue.
    
    
    You can restart the game to do the ending that you did not choose, as well as 
    get the tail of two endings trophy.
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                     (Optional Area) The Snowy Mountain Dungeon                   
    ====================================================================[DS205]===
    
    
    The Snowy Mountain Duengeon came with the game if you bought it right away, as
    it was bundled in with Tannako the Spider Warrior. It's located east of the
    Snowy Mountain outhouse and is definitely meant for higher level players.
    
    After playing through it twice, I definitely know my way around. The first time
    I went in solo, and was around level 15. The second time I was playing with 
    Thnikaman and we were around level 13. 
    
    For doing in solo, level 15 is pretty good. You'll level up quickly and find 
    some of the best armor and weapons in the game, and you'll even be able to 
    equip them early with Eubrick's cards, which is good since there's a kick-ass
    fire weapon that you can equip at level 18 (16 with Eubrick's help). I forget
    the fire weapon's name, but it's the one with the arm holding the dagger!
    Since most of the enemies in this dungeon are ice-based, having this weapon 
    and being able to use it is a must. 
    
    When going in at level 13, even with Tannako at my side, the going was ROUGH.
    We died quite a few times, but leveled up fast and got those good weapons.
    
    Besides the regular enemies, there's only two enemies of note. The first is
    Neopolitin, who seems to guard a gate behind him. He tries to freeze you in 
    place and can summon small spiders to help him out. Keep moving when you can
    and use your best fire-based attacks. 
    
    Once you defeat him, you'll have to face the Taking Tree. 
    
    He CONSTANTLY shoots spells at you while occasionally summoning a regular 
    enemies to fight you. Alone, I killed off the enemies and hit the tree with 
    my best weapons while blocking when I was expecting the tree to shoot. The 
    tree shoots at regular intervals and is pretty easy to dodge. You'll want some
    good food and potions for this part, of course.
    
    With two players, one can take care of the enemies while the other wails on
    the tree. True, both players will have to take care and watch out for the 
    tree's spells. But boy, it's nice to have Tannako webbing enemies up and 
    getting so much health back.
    
    So, my advice is to go in at around level 14-15 and get those awesome fire 
    and ice weapons, as well as the artic explorer armor. 
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                                    Quest List                    
    =====================================================================[DS03]===
    
    
    **MAIN QUESTS**
    
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Escape the POW Camp
    From: Storyline 
    Reward: Um, escaping? 
    How to Accomplish: Um, fight your orque captors! Just keep going and you'll 
    finish this quest.  
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Make an Escape Plan
    From: Storyline
    Reward: FREEDOM (What, you wanted a cookie?)
    How to Accomplish: Talk to your fellow POW's, they might have something 
    interesting to say.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Find Orque Gloves/Boots/Shoulder/Vest/Helmet
    From: POW Soldier 1 (American)
    Reward: A charming new set of orquish diggs
    How to Accomplish: Once you go through the gate leaving the camp head north on
    the road. Kill jungle beasts for the clothes they ate. Be carefull of the big 
    beasts as they spawn a group of smaller ones when they die. Be sure to equip 
    the orque clothes.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Find an Item to Write With
    From: POW soldier 2 (British)
    Reward: One step closer to escape
    How to Accomplish: East of the camp you'll find some wooden walkways with some 
    interrigator chickens on them. Kill all the chickens and keep heading east 
    until you find a rather large one. Kill him and recieve a quill.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Find an Item to Use as Ink
    From: POW soldier 2 (British)
    Reward: Even closer to escape...
    How to Accomplish: Travel north to where all the jungle beasts are, then head 
    west into the jungle. Here you'll be attacked by jungle squid tenticles. Fight
    your way further west and you'll see a much larger tenticle. Kill this and it
    will drop some ink. 
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Find Paper to Write On
    From: POW soldier 2 (British)
    Reward: Two steps closer to escape
    How to Accomplish: Continue north from where you fought the squids and you'll
    come to a rather disgusting place filled with latrene goo's, thats right it's 
    a latrene. Once you have killed all of the smaller goos attck the big one. Once
    it is dead you'll recieve some toilet paper.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Forge Orque ID
    From: POW soldier 2 (British)
    Reward: A falsified ID for clubing and crossing drawbridges
    How to Accomplish: Combine the pen with the ink and the inked pen with the 
    paper in your inventory.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Learn the Secret Password
    From: POW soldier 3 (French)
    Reward: Secret and forbidden knowledge of liberation
    How to Accomplish: As you approach the latrene you'll hear two orques talking
    to each other about how much they hate their detail. One of them is occupying 
    the outhouse. This is when you learn that gnomes when eaten in exccess causes 
    constipation. The other orque being the good guy that he is helps his friend 
    relax by telling him their soothing password "and the mighty Orque Barks 
    Back".
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Get Across the POW Bridge
    From: POW soldier 1 (American)
    Reward: Um... you get across the bridge
    How to Accomplish: Once your fully decked out in orque garb, have combined the 
    pen ink and toilet paper, and you've committed the password to memory, go east
    of the control point and begin a dialog with the orque bridge guard.
    After you've proven your Orqiness you'll be allowed to pass.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Cuisine
    From: Sandy
    Reward: A mighty thong
    How to accomplish: Kill Worten, the cook. Keep playing, you'll have to do this
    one.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Generosity 
    From: Sandy
    Reward: A mighty thong
    How to accomplish: Kill.... Santa?!? Sniff... Keep playing, you'll have to do 
    this one.
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Compassion
    From: Sandy
    Reward: A mighty thong
    How to accomplish: Kill the nun with a thousand names. Keep playing, you'll 
    have to do this one.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Recon the Comm
    From: Cowardly soldier
    Reward: Oddly warm gloves
    How to accomplish: Find the comm tower to the west of the outpost.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Radio Signals
    From: Cowardly soldier
    Reward: Oddly warm boots
    How to accomplish:  Quick! Run the dynamite to the tower. I suggest you kill
    the orque's around it first.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Behind Enemy Lines
    From: Cowardly soldier
    Reward: Flaming monocle runestone
    How to accomplish:  Head west of the blown-up comm tower and kill Col. Orque.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Mega Bomb
    From: Outpost soldier (navy docks)
    Reward: Greatest generation shoulders
    How to accomplish: Use the bazooka to blow up the bomb past the bridge.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Map out the North Pole
    From: Army General
    Reward: Molten warfare helm
    How to accomplish: Sail by the buoy's around the North Pole.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Chunk of Gold
    From: Army General
    Reward: Molten warfare gloves
    How to accomplish: Take the heart of gold from Madame Primp in Strumfuquel. 
    You'll need to get her to change her costume and than try and open the odd
    chest in her room. Make sure you have the right key from the locksmith.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Gun Parts
    From: Army General
    Reward: Bazooka
    How to accomplish: Collect the gun parts scattered around the catacombs that 
    you access from the Sanctuary.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Lower the Orque Drawbridge
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Access to the bridge
    How to accomplish: Go northeast from the destroyed city and around to the 
    peninsula to find a lever that will let you across the bridge.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Find a Detour
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Access to new areas.
    How to accomplish: Keep playing, you'll complete this automatically.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Thongolith of Compassion
    From: Thongolith researcher
    Reward: Great white north gloves
    How to accomplish: Use the instrument at the thongolith of compassion and 
    fight off the waves of enemies it spawns. Elemental weapons advised. 
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Thongolith of Cuisine
    From: Thongolith researcher
    Reward: Desperadic gloves
    How to accomplish: Use the instrument at the thongolith of cuisine and fight
    off the waves of enemies it spawns. Elemental weapons advised. 
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Lemon
    From: Cpt. Taint
    Reward: Falchion
    How to accomplish: Get the lemons from Strunkens farm, nortwest of the
    Destroyed City.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Keys to the Ship
    From: Cpt. Taint
    Reward: A ship!
    How to accomplish: Get the keys from Plaid Pete. You'll need the rum and 
    lemons before you get the ship, though. 
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Rum
    From: Cpt. Taint
    Reward: Hammer of Frozen Dooms
    How to accomplish: Kill Worten to be able to buy rum from Strumfuquel.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Enter the Catacombs
    From: Plotline
    Reward: Entrance to the catacombs
    How to accomplish: You need to burn five forbidden books in the sanctuary room.
    One is given to you right off the bat. you can find three more in the library 
    in Le Beaux. The last one you need to get from Mr. Frangtrangle, who is past 
    the Tricore-7 robot.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Open The Gate To The West
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Access to the west
    How to Accomplish: Kill the nun.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: White Bandito Blockade
    From: Approaching the blockade
    Reward: Passage into Stumfuquel
    How to Accomplish: Complete the damsel and stage coach driver quests.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Nitro Run
    From: Engineer
    Reward: Terrible Lizard helm
    How to Accomplish: Before accepting this quest head south along the tracks and
    kill the fire ants there. Then return to the engineer get the Nitroglycerine 
    and take it south to the conductor.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Liquor License
    From: Grimtub Hobblepotty
    Reward: The ability to purchase Rum as well as other potables.
    How to Accomplish: You'll get Grimtub's Liscence after killing Worten.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Birthday Song
    From: Secretary
    Reward: $8.50 an hour with benifits after a year
    How to Accomplish: Talk to Tina at her taco stand in Strumfuquel. She'll only
    sell you the birthday cake special if it's your birthday. You can use the
    library card as ID but it has to have todays date on it. To find out the date
    pick up a newspaper from the newspaper stand outside the Haunted Crotch in 
    Strumfuquel. If you're library card does not display the correct date you can 
    change it at the Le Beaux Kuckelle library. Then return to Tina who will 
    begrudgingly sing you the birthday song. Remember it and sing it to the 
    secretary afterwards.
     
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Drug Test
    From: Secretary
    Reward: The comfy knowledge that your drug free
    How to Accomplish: In the southern most part of the factory you'll see a door
    to the infirmary, inside is the drug-testing machine. At this point you know 
    what to do.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Uniform
    From: Secretary
    Reward: Fitting in with the crew
    How to Accomplish: In the eastern end of the factory you'll see the breakroom 
    door. Enter and take the vest off of the corkboard. You'll need to collect 6 
    pieces of flair from the torn vests that the orque ninjas drop. Combine them
    in your inventory.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Storm the North Pole
    From: Army General
    Reward: Access to the north pole
    How to accomplish: Talk to the Army General.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Muffle The Mirth
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Stop Santa from knocking you out.
    How to accomplish: Hit levers 1 and 3 to find the exit.
    
    
    NEW MAIN QUEST: Secret Base
    From: Sandy
    Reward: Access to the secret base.
    How to accomplish: Take the mini thongolith to the thongolith researcher and 
    than use the mini outhouse out of your items menu.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    **SIDE QUESTS**
    
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Disgruntled Delivery
    From: Sandy
    Reward: Machine gun 
    How to accomplish: Deliver the package to the Army General up north in Le
    Beaux.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: The Plan
    From: Cowardly soldier
    Reward: Machine gun
    How to accomplish: Take the plans to the Army General in Le Beaux Kuckelle.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Melon Protection
    From: Outpost soldier (navy docks)
    Reward: Undeath grenade
    How to accomplish:  Buy the soldier a new helmet from Poque LaTere's Armory in
    Le Beaux Kuckelle.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Use an Outhouse
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Learning how to teleport?
    How to accomplish: Simply warp to the outpost soldiers via an outhouse. 
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Find the Taint
    From: Poque Latete
    Reward: Well, you get to meet a pirate. 
    How to accomplish: Deliver the package to Captain Taint, in Scurvyville.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Off To Farmer Blizbane
    From: Poque Latete
    Reward: Minor crit. Potion
    How to accomplish: Deliver the package to Farmer Blizbane, who lives north of
    Le Beaux Kuckelle.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: For the War Effort  
    From: General's assistant
    Reward: Spinning tomahawk
    How to accomplish: Collect 50 pieces of scrap metal. These are scattered about
    and drop from killing orques.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Marching Orders
    From: General's assistant
    Reward: Undeath sword
    How to accomplish: Deliver the marching orders to the captain at the navy docks
    (complete after the Dammit! quest).
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Odd Looking Chest
    From: Locksmith
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Examine the odd looking chest north of Le Beaux.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Vacuum Tubes
    From: Radio host
    Reward: Incendiary grenade
    How to accomplish: Destroy robots for the vacuum tubes at the Eisenbein 
    residence.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Lost Father
    From: Lucy Eisenbein
    Reward: Undeath grenade
    How to accomplish: You'll find Lucy's father past Tricore-7, stuck in a cage.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Mercy
    From: Town medic
    Reward: Fire axe 2: Hot Steele
    How to accomplish: Retrieve medical supplies from the Sanctuary.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Dammit!
    From: Storyline
    Reward: Undeath bazooka
    How to accomplish: Find the thieving orc south of the first broken wooden 
    bridge and kill him.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil for the Ship
    From: Navy captain
    Reward: Machine gun
    How to accomplish: Retrieve 10 oil barrels from the eisenbein house north of 
    Le Beaux. The captain will leave a note telling you he's at the dock near the 
    jungle in the east.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Photojournalism
    From: Radio host
    Reward: Minor healing potion
    How to accomplish: Use the camera to take pictures by the lights arouhd the 
    Destroyed City.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Rampaging Robots
    From: Farmer Blizbane
    Reward: Orb of brief invulnerability
    How to accomplish: Kill rampaging farm robots for Farmer Blizbane.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pesky Skeletons
    From: Farmer Blizbane
    Reward: Heck from heaven
    How to accomplish: Kill skeletons and bring their thigh bones to Farmer 
    Blizbane.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Manure Matters
    From: Strunken
    Reward: Help from heaven
    How to accomplish:  When you fight jungle donkey's in the Scurvy Jungle, 
    collect their dung and give it to Strunken.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Queen of the Lost Jungle
    From: Greem exterminator
    Reward: Calvary sword of super carving
    How to accomplish: Use the greem whistle on the jungle mating stone and 
    defeat the greem queen.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: On the Air
    From: Radio host
    Reward: Machine gun
    How to accomplish:  Fix the five radio towers scattered around Farmer 
    Blizbane's property.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Shoot the Recruits
    From: Outpost soldier (by field outhouse)
    Reward: Minor healing potion
    How to accomplish: Kill the giant pips in the snowy mountains and collect 
    their teeth.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Heart of Darkness
    From: Radio host
    Reward: Help from Heaven
    How to accomplish: <eet with Scoop the Reporter. You can find him in the 
    Jungle, near the south. (Or use the Jungle Outhouse). 
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Thighbone Delivery
    From: Farmer Blizbane
    Reward: Orb of invulnerability
    How to accomplish: Take the thighbones to the demon witch north west of the
    Sanctuary. 
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Save the Seamen
    From: Navy Captain
    Reward: Poison bazooka
    How to accomplish: Rescue the seamne from the jungle greem camp
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Scoop's Secret Story
    From: Scoop
    Reward: Minor crit potion
    How to accomplish: Take the story to the radio host in Le Beaux.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Jungle Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Very easy, like all the spelunker's quest. Go into the cave
    to get the crystal for him. 
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Queen of the High Plains
    From: Greem exterminator
    Reward: War hammer
    How to accomplish: Use the greem whistle on the high plains greem mating stone
    and kill the queen
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Embattlements go Boom
    From: Navy Captain
    Reward: Hunting sword
    How to accomplish: Use the C4 to destroy the four orque trooper embattlements
    that you have fought through already.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Rocky Path Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Get the crystal from the rocky path cave. 
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pirate's Best Friend
    From: Insecure pirate
    Reward: Major Stealth Potion
    How to accomplish: Finds some parrots on chicken island for the pirate. 
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Treasure Map
    From: Cpt. Taint
    Reward: Feeling heroic?
    How to accomplish: Find the captains mutinous pirate members:
    
    1. In Scurvyville Jungle
    2. East of Scoop, in the Jungle
    3. Past Hanna's house, by the UFO
    4. By the Crazy Husband Spelunker Cave
    5. On spider island
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pirate Without A Cause
    From: Treasureless pirate
    Reward: Grenade
    How to accomplish: Bring back a generic treasure for the tresureless pirate 
    from skeleton island. 
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pour Le Roi et Le Pays
    From: French pirate person 
    Reward: Epic chest of awesomeness
    How to accomplish: Plant the 10 french flags across the world.
    
    
    Find the "Stand de Drapequ"'s around the world.
    1. East of Scurvyville
    2. By the Sanctuary
    3. Fort discharge
    4. Sierra mountains (as far west as you can go)
    5. By the Oasis
    6. By Worten's
    7. Outside of  Worten's
    8. Spider Island
    9. Strumfuquel
    10. Dino graveyard.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Dino Droppings
    From: Strunken
    Reward: Poison club the second
    How to accomplish: Kill a tyrannoraptor for its dung. It is located in the 
    dino graveyard. 
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Snowy Mountain Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: A Silent Quest
    From: Frozen monk
    Reward: Shank's Mega-Bloody Motor-Saw
    How to accomplish: Kill the Taking Tree at the end of the Dungeon.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Feed the Salmonella Ghoul
    From: The Salmonella Ghoul
    Reward: Help from heaven
    How to accomplish: Lure a stoopid chicken from the Sanctuary to the Salmonella
    Ghoul. Yummy.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Rub It In
    From: Rich Cabin
    Reward: War Hammer
    How to accomplish: Give the magazine to Derek Oil, in his estate west of 
    Strumfuquel.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Crystal in the Dark
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Make a Wish
    From: The talking well by Hanna's place
    Reward: Minor Healing Potion
    How to accomplish: Rind wishing coins to give to the talking well. You can 
    give the well additional coins you find at anytime.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Heroic Remains
    From: Hanna
    Reward: Poison Club
    How to accomplish: Find the tomb of the unknown ghoul slayer west of the dark
    forest outhouse.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Do Bearalopes... In the Woods
    From: Hanna
    Reward: $240
    How to accomplish: Kill bearalopes to get their droppings. Geesh, this game 
    and droppings... You'll have to wait for the bearalopes to respawn to get all
    the droppings.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Red Alien/ Green Alien
    From: Hanna
    Reward: Minor Stealth Potion
    How to accomplish: Kill red aliens and collect their goo behind Hanna's place.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: A Safe Return
    From: Green alien
    Reward: Ray gun
    How to accomplish: Recover the space ship parts from the red aliens.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Magical Ward
    From: Hanna
    Reward: Command killer sword
    How to accomplish: Return to Farmer Blizbane
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Undead Commanders
    From: Farmer Blizbane
    Reward: $3960
    How to accomplish: Use your new sword to kill the undead commanders. 
    Finally, sweet vengence.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Father in a Cage
    From: Dr. Eisbein
    Reward: Super soldier spade
    How to accomplish: Kill the mark 6 robots to finD the key punchcard. The 
    robots are a little ways past Dr. Eisbein. 
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Tricore-7 Plans
    From: Dr. Eisbein
    Reward: Undeath grenade
    How to accomplish: Warp to Le Beaux and talk to Lucy.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Robot Scans
    From: Lucy Eisbein
    Reward: Minor Speed Potion
    How to accomplish: Scan a Mark-7 robot with the scanner Lucy gave to you. They
    can be found at Wortten's Factory.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Cantankerous Delivery
    From: Sandy
    Reward: Revolver
    How to Accomplish: Deliver the package to the sheriff of Strumfuquel
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Neither Rain Nor Sleight...
    From: Stage Coach Driver
    Reward: 3 major stealth potion
    How to Accomplish: Travel North past the ghosts and skeletons ( remember your 
    nature club for the ghosts) into the White Bandito's camp you'll find the 
    mailbags scattered about their camp.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Fancy Hats
    From: Damsel
    Reward: $11960
    How to Accomplish: In the same White Bandito camp as well as on the road 
    leading up to it you'll find the hats. You'll see them as the are hard to miss.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pretty, Pretty Hand
    From: Stage coach Driver
    Reward: Terrible Lizard boots
    How to Accomplish: Head back to the Bandito camp and kill the orque chief to 
    get his hand and take it back to the coach driver.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Ant Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key
    How to Accomplish: Just get the crystal. However, be careful of the lvl 12 
    ants inside.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: From One Law Man to Another
    From: Stage Coach Driver
    Reward: 3 Major Healing Potions.
    How to Accomplish: Just go to Strumfuquel and deliver it to the sheriff.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Rattler Snakeskin Boots
    From: Sheriff of Strumfuquel 
    Reward: 8 grenades
    How to Accomplish: Go back to the white rock orque camp and kill orques until 
    they drop the boots. 
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Going Home
    From: Sad Widow
    Reward: 10 undeath grenades
    How to Accomplish: Once you speak with her take her east towards the haunted 
    farm (the one north of the elevator), being careful not to get too far ahead.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: The Lost Husband 
    From: The Sad Widow
    Reward: Chest of the Golden Lion
    How to Accomplish: The Husband is further down the western area, to the 
    northwest of Worten's.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Trillion Dollar Bill
    From: Banker
    Reward: 5 ice grenades 
    How to Accomplish: Go to the Blue Basin Orque camp and kill the Orque chief 
    there.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Money Troubles
    From: Banker
    Reward: Fire resistance potion
    How to Accomplish: Deliver the theft report to Derrik Oil.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST- Queen of Greem Island
    From: Greem Exterminator
    Reward: Orb of wicked invulerability
    How to Accomplish: Once you have a ship travel to Greem Island, kill the queen
    greem there and take her mating gland.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: The Waiting Deputy
    From: Sheriff of Strumfuquel
    Reward: Awesome armor potion
    How to Accomplish: Once you've completed all the quests in the Blue Basin
    Bandito camp to the west the blockade they put up will go down. Just on the
    other side of it to the North is the deputy. Deliver the warrant and evict 
    those troublesome peace loving monks.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Sandy Snowbellies
    From: Prospector
    Reward: Plate Shoulders of Siding
    How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Sandy Desert and use the blasting 
    caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Blood Mountain Bacon
    From: Prospector
    Reward: 5 poison grenades
    How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Blood Mountains and use the blasting
    caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Dino Rashers
    From: Prospector
    Reward: Necklace of Use
    How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the dinosaur graveyard and use the 
    blasting caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Prickly Pork
    From: Prospector
    Reward: Gold Key
    How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Cactus Forest and use the blasting 
    caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: 37.8 Liter Hat
    From: The Sheriff of Strumfuquel
    Reward: Venomous crown
    How to Accomplish: As you walk don the tracks you'll come across another
    blockade. Just south of this blockade is the red orque camp kill their chief 
    and you'll get the hat.
    
      
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Tar Pit Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key
    How to Accomplish: Get the tar pit crystal from the nearby cave.
     
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Grave Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key 
    How to Accomplish: Get the grave crystal from the nearby cave.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Hand
    From: Derrik Oil
    Reward: Gold Key
    How to Accomplish: Return to the dino graveyard and kill some Raptors until 
    they drop the parts.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Wealthy Bastard
    From: Derrik Oil
    Reward: Awesome armor potion
    How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Proving His Worth
    From: Rich Cabin
    Reward: Poison grenades 
    How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Banking and Gouging 
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Promotional wristwatch
    How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Look who's Running Things
    From: Rich Cabin
    Reward: Calvery Sword of Mega Carving
    How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Financial Philistine
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Self winding pocketwatch
    How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Who's the Boss
    From: Rich Cabin
    Reward: Orb of undead might
    How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Nouveau Riche 
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Venomous boots
    How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Frozen Treats 
    From: Strunken
    Reward: Great Axe
    How to Accomplish: Get frozen manure from the frost giant island, north of the
    Island cave. You'll need the ship for this.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Fixin's
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Ice Bazooka
    How to Accomplish: Just head south from Derik to find them, they're all over 
    the tar pits. Fixing them will spawn oil monsters, so be ready.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Monsters
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Incendiary Grenade
    How to Accomplish: Kill oil monsters in the tar pits and collect their bits.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Big Oil Boss
    From: Derik Oil
    Reward: Awesome stealth potion
    How to Accomplish: Head to the oil cave in the eastern part of the tar pits. 
    Once inside use the scented oil Derik gave you to draw her out. Once "she" 
    comes out kill her, it's not very difficult. Gather her head and return to 
    Derik Oil (though I'm not sure the oil monsters have heads).
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Fancy Jewelry
    From: Damsel
    Reward: Desperadic Helm
    How to Accomplish: Head west along the tracks until you reach the blockade.
    From here head south into the Red Renegade Bandito camp, the jewelry will be 
    scattered about the camp.
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Stagecoach Wheels
    From: Stage Coach driver
    Reward: Venomous chest
    How to Accomplish: Kill orques in the Red Renegade orque camp and they will 
    drop the wheels.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Gunslinger Gloves
    From: Sheriff
    Reward: Boots of siding
    How to Accomplish: Go to the Blue Basin Bandito camp and kill their chief.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Worm!
    From: Big Game Hunter
    Reward: 250 Sub Machine gun (pffft)
    How to Accomplish: You'll find the queen south of where Lawrence is standing 
    just kill her and she'll drop the shell.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Silk Road
    From: Big Game Hunter
    Reward: 5 Grenades (double pffft)
    How to Accomplish: In the southeastern corner of the desert you'll find the
    spider amongst some skeletons, just kill it and return to the hunter with the
    spinnerete.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Royal Pip
    From: Big Game Hunter
    Reward: Ice bazooka 
    How to Accomplish: For this quest you'll have to travel to the blood mountains.
    Head west along the tracks until you see a small camp of orques. From here head
    south down the path. The first thing you'll see is a small group of pips, one 
    of which (a big white one) is the pip king. Kill him and collect his head.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Nice Rack
    From: Big Game Hunter
    Reward: 300 machine gun (sigh)
    How to Accomplish: For this quest you'll need to return to the Dark Forest. In
    the cave north of Rich Cabin you'll find the bearalope sire. Kill him and take
    his antlers to the hunter.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Just the Tip 
    From: Big Game Hunter
    Reward: Terrible Lizard Chestpiece
    How to Accomplish: You'll have to travel all the way back to the Destroyed City
    for this one. The tenticle monster is south of the Destroyed City and just 
    north of where the zappers are located. Once it pops up kill it collect it's 
    tip and return it to the hunter.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Enlisted Help
    From: Lawrence of the Desert
    Reward: Terrible lizard gloves
    How to Accomplish: Apparently recruite means kill because thats what you do. 
    Head south from Lawrence and you'll find a small camp filled with ghouls. Kill
    them to collect their fingers and return to lawrence. 
     
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Sandy Desert Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key
    How to Accomplish: Get the crystal from the nearby cave.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: The Most Dangerous Creature
    From: Hermit
    Reward: None (That's right, when you assume someone is giving you a quest when
    they're not they don't usually reward you).
    How to Accomplish: Kill the hideous stinker and bring it's head to the hermit. 
    You'll find it northwest of Worten's.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Cactus Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key
    How to Accomplish: Get the crystal from the nearby cave.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Dynamite Shuffle
    From: Engineer
    Reward: $14,200
    How to Accomplish: Your best bet here is to scout your way through the blood 
    mountains until you come to a bunch of people. Once you've discovered the 
    shack outhouse take it back to the red orques outhouse, get the dynamite, take
    the red orques outhouse to the shack outhouse, head noth to the tracks follow 
    them to the blockage and give the dynamite to the Conductor. But, be quick 
    about it as the dynamite has a short fuse.
    
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Spare Change
    From: Man Missing His Money
    Reward: $19,520
    How to Accomplish: Head back along the path you came from and kill the green 
    shirted orques there. Then head North to the small orque camp you saw earlier 
    and kill them. This should give you all the money you need.
     
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Pass the Pan
    From: Prospecter Dude
    Reward: $16,800
    How to Accomplish: The Monks are the ones that have his pan, and are North of 
    the engineer that is further west down the tracks. You'll need to complete the
    deputies quest in order to anger the monks so you can kill them and loot the 
    pans from their persons.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Stagecoach Jacking
    From: Stagecoach Driver
    Reward: Plate Chest of Siding
    How to Accomplish: Head further west down the tracks till you come to an 
    engineer. Once you do, begin walking south down the nearby path. This path 
    will lead you into the Blue Basin Orque camp. You'll see a stage coach sitting
    in the camp, you can't miss it. Interact with it to recover it. Then return it
    to the stage coach driver
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Now With Wings!
    From: Damsel
    Reward: Gloves of Siding
    How to Accomplish: When you enter the Blue Basin Orque camp you'll see the 
    feminine products littering the ground. Gather them up and return them to the 
    damsel.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Foreclosure
    From: Banker
    Reward: $32,400
    How to Accomplish: Post the foreclosure signs at each of the 9 strumfuquel 
    mortgage houses.
     
    PLACES TO FORECLOSE:
    
    1. Eisenbiens Residence- North of Beaux Kuckelle
    2. Ima and Strunken's Farm- North of Destroyed City
    3. Hanna Haybenstance's House- South of the Monistery
    4. Haunted Farm- East of Strumfuquel
    5. Strumfuquel House- North end of Strumfuquel
    6. Lawrences Hut- west of Big Game Hunter
    7. Railway Shack- Near the Shack outhouse
    8. Burnt Up House- Sierra Mountains south of Lewis Clark
    9. House in Le Beaux- West of the General in Le Beaux
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Acid Reflux 
    From: Engineer
    Reward: Venomous gloves
    How to Accomplish: Once he hands you the acid there is no time for anything 
    but running it down the tracks. So thats what you do run west down the tracks,
    ignoring the robots in your way, and give the acid to the conductor. The acid
    will start to take chunks out of your health, so use a health potion if you 
    need to, just to be safe.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Eviction Notice
    From: The Deputy
    Reward: $16,800
    How to Accomplish: Head east down the tracks until you see a rocky road to the
    north near the engineer platform. Follow this path and you'll soon come to a 
    temple plagued with peace loving monks. Yuck!! To the far right is a sign 
    upon which you can place the eviction notice. This of course will drive the
    peacful monks to acts of violent violence.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Crystal of Blood.
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold key
    How to Accomplish: Enter the cave to the west and retrieve the crystal.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Rio Loco
    From: Crazy Husband
    Reward: Shoulders of the Golden Lion
    How to Accomplish: Enter the cave and kill the queen, she'll drop the keepsake
    you need. Return to the Haunted Farm and give it to the sad widow.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: The Temple of Idol-ness
    From: Hermit
    Reward: Unsafe gloves
    OBJECTIVE- Head to the jungle and find an idol to return to the hermit.
    How to Accomplish: You may remember earlier that there was a lever you couldn't
    use in the jungle cave. Well you can go there now and use it. At first there 
    will only be three guards (which hardly seems "well guarded") but once you pull
    the lever a small army of them will come. Once you despatch the guards head 
    across the now bridged gap and get the idol. Return it to the hermit for your 
    reward. Have some justice ready to go and a health potion handy.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Intro to Existentialism
    From: Hermit
    Reward: None
    How to Accomplish: Leave. Go. Go AWAY. Leave the hermit ALONE.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Destroy the Tricore-7
    From: Lucy Eisenbein
    Reward: Free the enslaved robots
    How to Accomplish: Go to the Tricore-7 in the Dark Forest. Place the
    programmed crystal on the ground near the tricore-7. Then, kill mark 6 robots 
    in the area. The discharge from them will damage the Tricore-7. Make sure to 
    kill the healer bots as well.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: I'm Sick of Deliveries 
    From: Sandy
    Reward: Nothing
    How to accomplish: Take the package to the thongolith researcher in 
    Strumfuquel.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Gone With the Rain
    From: Lewis Clark
    Reward: Unsafe Helmet
    How to accomplish: You'll find the items scattered throughout the Sierra 
    Mountains, so just explore a bit. 
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Sierra Mountains Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Island Crystal
    From: Spelunker
    Reward: Gold treasure chest key
    How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done.
    
    
    NEW SIDE QUEST: Taint's Treasure
    From: Cpt. Taint
    Reward: Petty cash
    How to accomplish: Sail to X island and take out the mutinous pirate captain.
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                                    Runestones                   
    =====================================================================[DS04]===
    
    
    Here's a list of all of the game's runestones and how to use them, as well as
    where they can be found. 
    
    
    Flaming Cavalry
    
    Use a melee fire weapon with a Cavalry Sword.
    
    Found at: Found inside the Dark Forest cave, behind Rich Cabin's place.
    
    
    
    Flaming Tomahawk
    
    Use a melee fire weapon with a Tomahawk.
    
    Found at: Any weapons store for $1,000,000
    
    
    
    Ice Tomahawk
    
    Use a melee ice weapon with a Tomahawk.
    
    Found at: Any weapons store for $1,000,000
    
    
    
    Ice Jackhammer
    
    Use a melee ice weapon with a Jackhammer.
    
    Found at: You get this runestone after defeating Worten.
    
    
    
    Undeath Shovel
    
    Use a melee undeath weapon with a Soldier Spade.
    
    Found at: Kill the Stinker northwest of Worten's (This quest comes from the 
    Hermit at the Oasis).
    
    
    
    Undeath Railroad
    
    Use a melee undeath weapon with a Railroad Sledgehammer.
    
    Found at: Kill Plaid Pete for this runestone.
    
    
    
    Undeath Cavalry
    
    Use a melee undeath weapon with a Cavalry Sword.
    
    Found at: Kill the Big Poppa Dragon in the Snowy Mountain Cave.
    
    
    
    Nature Telsa Rod
    
    Use a melee nature weapon and a Telsa Rod.
    
    Found at: Find in a gold chest in the Snowy Mountain Cave.
    
    
    
    Poison Railroad
    
    Use a melee nature weapon and a Railroad Sledgehammer.
    
    Found at: You get this runestone after defeating Mr. Frangtrangle.
    
    
    
    Flaming Monocle
    
    Use a melee fire weapon and a Monocle.
    
    Found at: Complete the quest "Behind Enemy Lines" near the beginning of the 
    game.
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                                     Trophies                   
    =====================================================================[DS05]===
    
    
    Who doesn't like trophies? Here's all the trophies you can get in the game 
    and our comments on the best way to do it!
    
    (This is for the PS3, of course, although I imagine the 360 has the same 
    achievements).
    
    
    Orque Impostor (Bronze)  ~ Convince an Orque Guard you are an Orque.
    
    You will get this one by just playing through the game.
    
    
    Death of a Penguin (Bronze) ~ Kill the Evil Nun.
    
    Another one you will get by playing through the game. 
    
    
    Primp V.I.P (Bronze) ~ See all 20 of Madame Primp's Outfits.
    
    Make sure to visit Madame Primp and see all 20 of her costumes for this 
    trophy. You gotta do this BEFORE you open her treasure chest.
    
    
    Well Educated (Bronze) ~ Get an Engineering Degree
    
    Talk to the Conductor to the far west in the Sierra Mountains for a cool
    cut-scene and this trophy.
    
    
    Raise Your Mast (Bronze) ~ Go Sailing in a Pirate Ship
    
    You'll get this one once you get the boat. You'll do this automatically as 
    you play through the game's main missions.
    
    
    Konichiwa (Bronze) ~ Learn to speak Japanese
    
    After talking to the Japanese judge's at Worten's, the "Learn how to speak
    Japanese" book will be available in the library in Le Beaux. Check it out
    to get this trophy.
    
    
    Dispenser of Justice (Silver) ~ Kill 3000 enemies
    
    Well, I didn't get this one after playing through the whole game AND the DLC
    dungeon, so you may have to wander around the world killing enemies until you
    get this trophy.
    
    
    To Serve Man (Silver) ~ Kill Worten
    
    Another one you will get by playing through the game.
    
    
    A True Hero (Gold) ~ Reach Level 20
    
    The best place to level in the game has to be the DLC frozen dungeon east of 
    the Snowy Mountain outhouse. You can also find some high level enemies on the
    various Islands around the North Pole. 
    
    
    Mystic Transport (Bronze) ~ Discover all 44 teleporting outhouses.
    
    These are easy to find, but you'll have to play the entire game to get them
    all. There is one that isn't on the map, which is south of spider island.
    
    
    Ruin Christmas (Silver) ~ Kill Santa Claus
    
    Another one you will get by playing through the game.
    
    
    A Tale of Two Endings (Silver) ~ Watch both game endings.
    
    You'll know when you have to make this choice. You can than restart the game
    (hit continue from the main menu) and make the second choice to get the 
    trophey.
    
    
    Frozen Justice (Gold) ~ Kill the Taking Tree
    
    This is the end-boss of the DLC "Snowy Mountain" dungeon, just kill the 
    Taking Tree to get the trophey. See the Snowy Mountain dungeon section if you
    need help/tips.
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                                       FAQ                   
    =====================================================================[DS06]===
    
    
    Feel free to send any questions in to our email, just be civil and at least 
    try to use the walkthrough before you ask. Since we didn't list the contents
    of every chest, I really can't help you find where to get such-and-such sword,
    or what monster drops what items, so keep that in mind. 
    
    We'll post some FAQ's as soon as we get some. Hopefully you can find 
    everything you need in the guide. 
    
    
    ==============================================================================
                             Credits and other ramblings           
    =====================================================================[DS07]===
    
    
     o Guide Related:
    
    DomZ for his Ascii Art at the top. Check out his site at:
    
     - http://www.freewebs.com/domz_ninja/asciiart.htm
    
    Brandon Davis for the lawmen reward! Thanks man!
    
    
     o Personal:
    
    Bkstunt: My wife Lisa and daughter Sadie. Also to the makers of Deathspank, 
    you guys are hilarious. Can't wait to see what you make next! 
    
    Thnikman: My wife for putting up with my late nights, Bkstunt for his part in 
    the gig, and hothead for making such a glorious display of gamery.
    
    As I learned on my first walkthrough, copyrights are pretty silly for this 
    kind of thing, so please, if you want to use this walkthrough on your site, 
    simply ask us by emailing one of us above, and we'll more than likely say yes.
    
    
    ~FIN 

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