Geralt: Life treating you all right?
Thaler: Meh, bit like a potato beetle: I keep quiet, stay out of trouble, and live on f***in' potatoes.
Sigi Reuven: Geralt, how can I put this delicately... Bollocks. If you thought I'd fall for that tale you just pulled out of your arse, you don't know me one bit.
Geralt: All right, I lied... But only partly.
Sigi Reuven: Heard of beasts that are half-lion, half-eagle, maidens who are half-fish... But you'll never convince me there's such a thing as a half-truth.
Emhyr: Where is she?
Emhyr: Close, White Wolf, is what you are to decapitation.
Geralt: You smell wonderful.
Yennefer: Geralt -- we're at a funeral.
Geralt: You smell wonderful at this funeral.
Graden: I thought your mutations cleansed you of humanity, stripped you of emotions...
Geralt: You don't need mutations to strip men of their humanity. I've seen plenty of examples.
[Geralt finds a sleepy vampire in a sarcophagus.]
Vampire: Just five more minutes... Is it 1358 yet?
Vampire: Then f*** off.
Geralt: Find something else to laugh at. I dunno, catch some frogs and shove straws up their asses...?
Stablemaster: Huh. That one of your witcher games?
Geralt: Witcher version's different. Don't make me show you.
Geralt: Took me a long time to find you. Wasn't an easy road to travel. I'm angry and tired. Had to kill a lot of people along the way. Some of them tried to cheat me, some tried to lie. I didn't like it one bit. I feel like one more lie'd be the last bitter drop in a chalice full of sorrow. And then...then I'd do something I would later regret. Now you know why you can't lie to me?
Whoreson Junior: Yes...
Geralt: Make this boat yourself?
Lambert: Yeah. Something you don't like about it?
Geralt: Besides the water up to our ankles? Nothing.
Lambert: Quit whining... It'll make it across the lake.
Geralt: Provided we don't smash into something first. Barely see the tip of my nose. Fog's thick as curdled milk...
Lambert: Never took you for a poet.
Geralt: Oh, but I am one. Wanna hear a limerick?
Geralt: Lambert, Lambert -- what a prick.
Lambert: Not bad.
Geralt: Dogs more dangerous than wolves? Don't think so.
Mislav: It's the truth. Know why?
Geralt: No, but I guess you're about to tell me.
Mislav: Wolves hunt to fill their bellies. Wild dogs kill for sport.
Geralt: Just like humans.
Mislav: Aye, they've learned much from us. Why not cruelty, too?
Corinne Tilly: Know when a legend transforms into prophecy? When it gains believers.
Philippa Eilhart: Don't you think it's time you stopped interfering in Ciri's life?
Philippa Eilhart: But you do know we're not a pack of wolves you can just drive away from her with your sword.
Geralt: Sure you are, and yes, I can. If the need arises.
Geralt: Expected you earlier.
Keira Metz: I started off heading in the opposite direction, but then turned around.
Geralt: What made you change your mind?
Keira Metz: There are times when a woman should simply not explain her decision. That goes doubly for sorceresses.
Geralt: Tell me... You always been such a cynical bastard?
Lambert: No. I was adorable before Vesemir brought me to Kaer Morhen.
Geralt: Think it's that bad being a witcher?
Lambert: Guess I could've been someone worse... Just a shame I had no choice.
Geralt: It was our destiny...
Lambert: Destiny? Let me tell you about destiny. My dad was a drunk. He'd knock a few back, then beat me and Mom bloody. We prayed for his death, every night. One day our prayers were almost answered. Dad lost his way coming home from the tavern, walked smack into a nest of nekkers... But some witcher saved him. Know what he wanted in return? "Give me the first thing you see when you get home." My life... For the life of that prick? I say f*** that kinda destiny.
Geralt: You wouldn't happen to have a bone to pick with Dandelion, would you?
Dijkstra: Course I do.
Geralt: You serious?
Dijkstra: Dead serious... Dandelion published a sonnet recently. Second stanza -- the s*** uses paired couplets instead of an inserted rhyme! Surely you understand how deeply offended the poetry lover in me was. The bastard shan't get away with it!
Geralt: I was being serious.
Dijkstra: As am I when I say I have no time to worry about your gigolo boyfriend.
Geralt: Long ago, to isolate themselves from a world of beasts, humans began building cities. But since beasts prowl within stone walls as well as they do outside them, this did not allay human fears. The truth is walls guarantee no one's safety. The place where you lock yourself in and lock all else out -- that's not your home. Your home is sometimes a place you travel long and far to find.
Geralt: Just out of curiosity, why do they call you "Madman"?
Madman Lugos: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! ...That's why.