Let’s face it; bosses are a staple of videogames, so much that if you take them away you are mostly left with puzzle games and teaching/training tools. Maybe not even puzzle games are out, because you are fighting against the machine! Bosses exist for one and only one reason: Put the controllers in peril of being thrown against the TV, if the boss fight starts getting frustrating. But the concept of Boss fight, usually, involves a male character with super powers trying to take over the world (or a stage of the game). What about female bosses? Women (or female monsters) have always had a presence in videogames as bosses, but they usually pass unnoticed. Let’s give the spotlight to 10 of the female bosses who will lose no time in tearing you to pieces.

Final Bosses in Final Fantasy, for some reason, fare quite unfairly (Christ, so many F’s!). There are a lot of female bosses, specially in Final Fantasy VIII, but we haven’t had a Final Boss (real end of the game Final Boss) like Ultimecia before. Ultimecia, in the tradition of Final Fantasy bosses, has a fight divided in various sections, going from a fairly beautiful woman, to a freakish mutation of her and a monster, and finally transforming into a faceless freak with arms bigger than her body. This series of changes and mutations give her one of the most shape shifting personalities of the entire Final Fantasy franchise. But, why is so low in this list? Well, because at a point of the fight she sends your worst nightmare to defeat you. What a coward, running away, put up a fight woman!

It was either her or Bad Girl, but really, Bad Girl only beats some corpses with her bat and then cries like a brat only to bring you towards here so she can beat you to death. Also, don’t get me started in Speed Buster, whose boss fight is probably the most boring of the entire game. No. The best female boss in No More Heroes is, without a doubt, Holly “Machine gun leg” Summers. She demonstrates that being crippled is not a problem to beat Travis Touchdown to pieces. With her automatic mechanical limb and a good set of grenades she puts us in troubles, but then accepts defeat more bravely than many generals do. Also, if you want to see her death in its entire spectacle, watch it in the US version. The EU and Japan one looks like out of a Tex Avery cartoon.

I wouldn’t call misogyny here, but sheer happiness actually. The first time the Megaman series has a female boss amongst their 9 robot masters is brilliant. It also shows quite an interesting fact. In Megaman 9, these Robot Masters were designed by Doctor Light, instead of Doctor Willy. That being said, it makes Willy a bigger misogynist here! Why? Well, Dr. Willy never invented a female robot, while Dr. Light did: One more reason to hate Willy and pummel him down to the ground. Oh, and of course, Splash Woman is one hard boss throwing sparkling tridents at you and jumping every where. Shall is say, let’s decimate this lady in the water? Old school boss fight for the win.

First real creepy boss of this list, Lisa Trevor was one of the new things that Capcom added to their Resident Evil Remake. And how does she hold up against other bosses in the game? Well, let’s put it this way. In a fight between her and the Tyrant, the Tyrant will run away with his claws between his legs crying for his mommy. Lisa Trevor’s biggest and best strength is that you can’t kill her! She is invincible. No matter how many bullets you waste on her, she is still alive. There are only two ways to kill her (spoilers coming): Either shooting her down to a precipice in the tomb of her mother, or forcing her to commit suicide by showing her mother’s skull to her. And still, she surely survives the fall!

What is worse that one single boss? What about two bosses!? That is a nightmare. Koume and Kotate are sisters, and they attack you with their beams of ice and fire, without knowing that their worst adversary is not you but each other. Using your mirror shield you can defeat them in their first form, until they get enough of your magic reflecting shield and fuse between each other to create…an oddly attractive witch with too much cleavage and a diamond on her forehead. She is quite an easy boss as well, but it gives you the chance of attack in a very unique way: Defending yourself. Loading your shield three times with either an ice beam or a fire beam, and then blast it back at them. Result? Well, probably the funniest boss fight end sequence ever created. I never thought witches could go to heaven, specially evil ones.

This boss fight is…well, let’s face it, it’s terrible. Probably one of the most unfulfilling, decimating, frustrating and difficult boss fights ever put in a videogame. Let’s not criticize the programming, let’s just criticize the boss for a change, starting with the name: It’s, the Princess, OF DARKNESS!!! Her husband is The Devil!!! What do you expect!? Her level of evilness reaches the highest peak when she starts the fight by possessing the body of cute paper cut Princess Peach, transforming her from pink dressed innocent victim to black lipstick dark purple dress wearing she devil of hell!!! The Boss fight in itself is maddening too, but not impossible, though it can get frustrating after that 6 minutes long cut scene that you can’t skip. Noooooo!!!

Now this Boss is…weird. Yeah, The Concubine from the new Prince of Persia can be the weirdest Boss of them all. She has the body of a human corpse, a face that if you look at her you will just go insane (so ugly she is), double jointed legs, and a tail. Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention, you cannot stab her! A veil of pure darkness and corruption surrounds her, and as soon as you put your blade against her she will counter attack and kill you. The only way you can defeat her is using your glove, and you gotta be careful when using it. She also so fast you will find her behind you ready to kick your ass out of the stage. It’s so hard to defeat her, that there’s even a achievement/trophy if you manage to kill her without using your glove. Now that’s hard.

For some reason I have the theme for this boss fight stuck in my head, and it’s not arbitrary. Mother is, without a doubt, the biggest boss of the entire history of House of the Dead, and possibly the most revolting too. Who wants to see deflated wrinkly female breasts with pointy nipples really? That is disgusting, and don’t make me start with that giant head filled with electrodes and freaky tentacle long tongue. The boss fight itself is so twisted and sick it makes me want to “face palm” myself. Can you believe that, near the end of it, she starts birthing zombies? No, no, no, I am not kidding, she does that, and for some reason, it’s hilarious. One memorable female boss, but for all the wrong reasons really.

Everybody seems to forget Sniper Wolf. I mean, why? Everybody talks about Liquid, Ocelot, Vulcan Raven, Grey Fox, Psycho Mantis, but Sniper Wolf seems to be the sleeper of all the bosses in Metal Gear Solid. Her boss fight is quite an ingenious one, mostly because she is one boss you face twice! First time the only thing you can really do is put her to sleep, but the second time is the real deal. Is a fight of accuracy, to demonstrate who has the best precision with the sniper rifle and the one winning deserves the prize of keep living. Now most bosses die when the fight is over, or they melt in the floor (it depends on the game engine), but Sniper Wolf gives a speech about loneliness and love that can break your heart. And if that wasn’t enough, prepare that handkerchief for the whipping howling wolfs.

Yeah, you saw this one coming, didn’t you? But how dare you not seeing it? If Samus was the very first heroine to stumble upon our home consoles, Mother Brain was the first female boss to terrify our gamer senses. Taking into account how things have changed, with bosses more agile and more active, Mother Brain seems like a lazy boss that doesn’t move or puts up a fight. But don’t let this fool you, you know why? Mother Brain is the one plotting behind everything else! She is the Don of every videogame. She is the thinking mind behind every plan to take over the galaxy. If Ridley is the physical villain, the one who has no problems about smashing you against a wall, then Mother Brain is the one who told Ridley to do so. She is in charge of everything, from the meanest space pirate to the smallest glowing spark that has been sent to decimate Samus: An impotent and fearless boss that knows how to deliver pain and suffering. It’s even worse in Super Metroid, where Mother Brain stops taking hits like an immovable object and takes the shape of a giant walking brain with one terrifying eye. She’s a great boss fight that stands up, not just amongst female bosses, but bosses in general.

I tried to be fair, and list varied bosses, but it all comes to how unique they are and how troublesome can they be. To be fair, I only listed those bosses I fought against, but if I was given like another 10 spots, I was still having troubles fitting other bosses here. Shahdee from “Prince of Persia: Warrior Within”, Maleficent in “Kingdom Hearts”, Queen Goma from “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time”, Misty from “Pokémon”, Hel in “Too Human”, Matriarch Benecia in “Mass Effect”, Dark Zelda and Dark Peach in “Smash Bros Brawl”…and the list goes on and on.

List by james_corck (06/17/2009)

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