Almost every game has a weapons in it, because you need a way to kill enemies. But in some games, you'll come across weapons that are so ridiculous that you'll almost feel pity on the hopeless tools you'll be ripping through once you find them..... or not. Half the fun of these weapons is how the enemies will stand no chance against you once you find one, so without further adieu, the list! Note that there are major *SPOILERS* for Final Fantasy 7 and Resident Evil 4 on this list, so read with caution if you haven't played one or both.

Sephiroth's famous sword in FF7 is a weapon that you never get to use. The closest you'll see is an item called "Masamune" that you can earn in the Gold Saucer, though it serves no use other than as a collector's piece. For whatever reason, FF7's popularity has caused it to endure enormous scrutiny since its release. In the case of Sephiroth, the favorite criticism among naysayers is that Sephiroth has no real character. While this may or may not be true, Sephiroth has a grand style and aura about him that few other villains are able to replicate. And it translates into how the game explains his weapon of choice. In the early stages of the game, Sephiroth is hyped up as an infallible soldier whose strength is so unreal that only he is able to wield the masamune. For the most part, this is true. The first time the party sees the sword, the president of Shinra is impaled on it. Later during Cloud's flashbacks to his days of working with Seph, we see Sephiroth slicing enemies to bits with it like nothing. But the most famous of all masamune sightings is the end of disc 1, when Sephiroth skewers Aeris like a shrimp. Since Final Fantasy 7, in large part due to how awesome everyone thought Sephiroth and the masamune were, oversized swords have become a mainstay in the RPG genre. And though you never actually equip the masamune for yourself, it is a video game weapon and thus qualifies for the list.

After beating Resident Evil 4 for the first time, a little bonus mission called Assignment Ada is unlocked. Assignment Ada is a small event in which you control Ada through the first three areas of the Island in an effort to collect 5 Plaga Samples for Albert Wesker, thus proving beyond a doubt that Ada was in league with Wesker through the entire game. Once Assignment Ada is cleared, the Chicago Typewriter will be available for purchase from the Merchant for the bargain price of 1 million pesetas. Given how easy Assignment Ada is, it's as if Capcom *wanted* us to have a free ride through subsequent playthroughs. That's because once you buy the Chicago Typewriter, no enemy in the entire game will pose any challenge. This quasi-tommy gun deals 100 damage per shot at an automatic firing rate. To put that in better perspective, the basic handgun that you started your first playthrough with does 1 damage per shot. Virtually every enemy in the entire game will die in one Typewriter hit, and bosses won't take much longer. Typewriter-fueled replays through Resident Evil 4 can be as short as 3 hours long. The best example of the raw power of the Chicago Typewriter comes against Salazar's Right Hand. Unless you freeze him with nitrogen and blow him up with a rocket launcher afterwards, he's almost impossible to kill on a normal playthrough due to his 800+ health. With the CT, it won't even take 10 bullets to kill him.

A ton of lists have mentioned Turok 2's Cerebral Bore, and for good reason. It is THE most repulsive weapon in the first person shooter genre. By now, any regular readers of these list know what the weapon does. When you equip it, a scope appears on the screen. If an enemy whose head makes a good target shows up, the scope will lock onto its head and begin flashing red. The Bore then gets fired. Unless the enemy is smart enough to dive underwater (and it won't be), the bore will inevitably lock onto the enemy's skull and begin its work. It sucks out all of the brain matter from the poor bastard's skull before ultimately blowing up. Even with the now-primitive N64 graphics, the Bore's effects on the poor suckers they attach themselves to is sick. However, the Bore is not without its fair share of weaknesses. For starters, it's a horrid weapon to use against groups of enemies due to the lag after each shot, as well as it only killing one enemy at a time. You'll also not encounter the Bore until the latter half of the game, and you'll always have a very limited ammo supply for it. But against singular enemies, almost no weapon in any FPS title matches the raw power of the Bore. Besides, for aesthetics purposes, no weapon list is complete without the Bore on it :)

The Hurly Gloves aren't overpowered statistically; rather, they demonstrate how overpowered Bowser *himself* is. Every fan of Bowser secretly wishes that Bowser would get the better of Mario one of these days, and we actually got our wish during the intro movie of Super Princess Peach. But a decade earlier, Super Mario RPG gave us Bowser fans all we could ask for. In the beginning of SMRPG, Bowser's Keep gets taken over. Bowser has no choice but to assist Mario once he learns that Mario plans on kicking the invaders of Bowser's Keep out of the Mushroom Kingdom. Bowser joins the party rather late and has a limited array of weapons, but one weapon in particular stands out from all others in game: the Hurly Gloves. When Hurly Gloves are used in battle, Bowser picks up Mario, plants a Mario Doll in his place and proceeds to launch Mario himself at the enemies a couple times. Other weapons and attacks in the game may do more damage, but none of them are funnier to watch. Honestly, is there anything better than Bowser using MARIO as a weapon during impromptu teamwork? Bowser isn't lightning in a bottle and an earthquake in a can for nothing! Bowser and Mario have since regained their stance of being mortal enemies, but they were the best of teammates for one glorious moment.

As everyone who has ever played a Mega Man game knows, Mega Man gets the boss's power in some way after it dies. Boss attacks can be used against one another for a boss weakness loop that appears in every game. But imagine a Mega Man game where you could literally use one weapon against almost every enemy and boss for the entire game. The Metal Blade in Mega Man 2 was so god-awful overpowered that future Mega Man games had to make a conscious effort to tone down the damage output if you used the "wrong" weapon against a boss. Almost all of the robot masters in MM2 took a lot of damage from the Metal Blade, most famously Metal Man himself. While fighting Metal Man during the robot master rematch section of the Wily stages, one Metal Blade was all it took to off Metal Man. For the others, it didn't exactly take much more of an effort. It isn't until the Wily bosses that the Metal Blade becomes less viable, though the sheer power of the weapon extends past simple boss weakness. Blades are unbelievably cheap to use. You can fire well over 100 of them before blade energy runs out, and enough energy recovery items exist so that running out of Metal Blade use is impossible. And in perhaps the biggest display of overpowering to end them all, the Metal Blade fires in eight directions and can go through most walls. There is literally no enemy in the game that can avoid the Blades unless they're behind a thick wall or have immunity. Thankfully, the madness ends by the end of the game where you have to use other methods to kill the final few bosses.

To appreciate how amazing the Yoshitsuna is in Disgaea, one must first realize how difficult a Yoshitsuna is to get a hold of in the first place. In Disgaea, there is what's known as the Item World. Very rare items (legendaries) have 100 floors to them. To make a long story short, if you go all the way down to the 100th floor, an Item God exists that will hold a legendary item of the next rank up. The game is nice enough to let you take a break after every 10 floors in the item world, but going all the way down to the 100th level of a powerful item is very difficult due to how strong the enemies become. Now, the highest rank in any weapon type is 40. The Yoshitsuna is the Rank 40 sword, and it is not found through any conventional means. No enemy will ever carry it. No bonus gauge will ever release it. The only way to get a Yoshi is to go to the 100th level of the Rank 39 sword, a Cosmic Blade. Legendary Cosmic Blades are found in one of two ways: one, you go through the item world a bunch of times and pray that it appears either on an enemy or in a bonus gauge; or two, you enter the map where you fight Marjoly a few hundred times until one of the Majins is carrying a Legendary Amano Hahakiri, which is the Rank 38 sword. At the bottom of an Amano Hahakiri, the Item God MAY be carrying a Legendary Cosmic Blade. Guaranteed Item God setups only happen in rank 39 items, so the best you can hope for is to escape from the Amano at level 99 and reset a few hundred times until you get what you want. Many a Disgaea player have horror stories about how long it takes to acquire a Legendary Cosmic Blade, which single-handedly convinced NIA to put better weapons and armor on their enemies in Disgaea 2. Eventually, after a ton of hours are poured into the game, you'll be strong enough to go to the bottom of a Legendary Cosmic blade and steal a Yoshitsuna from the Item God there. And by the way, you'll need either a few thousand levels on a Thief or a captured high-level monster if you'll want any chance of stealing these weapons at will. The light at the end of the tunnel is that the Yoshitsuna is worth the effort. It is by FAR the most powerful weapon in the game, adding 1000 to all non-attack stats, 4000 to attack, 2 move and 20 jump. At level ONE. A Yoshitsuna leveled to 100 is about the most overpowered weapon you'll ever see in a strategy RPG, and as an added bonus it can attack enemies from 5 panels away. This eliminates those annoying counters, but by the time you have a level 100 Yoshi it likely doesn't matter. You would literally have to lose on purpose in order to die after finding one of these things. In fact, you would have to be a saint to even let most enemies get a single attack in.

Turok 2 makes it's second appearance on the list, but with a weapon that no fan of the game seems to talk about. When Turok 2 weapons come up, everyone always talks about the Cerebral Bore, Nuke or Scorpion Missile Launcher. Why the Shredder gets no love is beyond me, because it's easily the best weapon in that entire game, perhaps even in all FPS games period. For lack of a better term, the Shredder is an upgraded shotgun that, um.... shreds through enemies like nothing else because the shots bounce off of walls once the shotgun is upgraded. Normal shells will bounce off of walls and enemies into a million little lasers that go all over the place for a little bit. Those annoying rooms filled with a ton of small enemies become jokes with one or two normal shredder shots. Explosive shells enable the shredder to take care of just about everything else. When fired, a giant laser rips trough everything in its path. Pretty much any normal enemy dies in one or two direct shots (complete with trademark post-death Turok gore, and the shredder causes plenty of it), but the true beauty of the shredder comes with firing an explosive shell off of a wall. If done just right, all you'll see is this giant laser bouncing off of walls at light speed and just ripping through every enemy in the room. Few things in Turok 2 are better than an entire room of enemies having their legs all torn off by one bullet. The shredder the best weapon to use in that game with auto-aim turned off, because missing the enemy actually works better than hitting them straight on. And on top of everything else, every boss fight in the game, including the Primagen, becomes a joke if you're accurate with this thing.

Everyone has trouble with RE4 Mercenaries when they first start, mostly because Leon sucks against most of the stronger enemies. But thankfully, and without any work at all, there is a SWEET way to get revenge on those high-powered mercenary jackasses once you unlock Jack Krauser. During the main game of RE4, the fight between Leon and Krauser is perhaps the longest and most difficult battle in the entire game. Once Leon reaches the end of the struggle, a one on one fight to the death begins against Krauser, with a time limit to boot. The catch is that Krauser had prior accepted Las Plagas into his body, allowing him to turn his arm into an angel wing of razor-sharp death. If Krauser manages to land his leg sweep-wing stab combo, it's game over for one Leon Kennedy. The beauty of all this is that Jack Krauser is one of the five characters in Mercenaries, and you'll be able to transform his arm while using him. It might not seem like such a big deal at first, but it won't take long for you to notice that Krauser's arm one-hit-kills EVERYTHING in ANY level in Mercenaries. And not only that, but it's collision detection is broken as all hell. Giant groups of enemies facing normal Mercs all get sliced in half at a whim when Krauser shows up. It's quite a sight, especially when you carve through the Bella Sisters, Garrador, J.J. and Salvador X in one shot. If only Leon or Ada could pull something like that off...

Few other weapons in all of gaming scream out "Alright jackasses, game over" to the enemies more than the Crissaegrim does in Symphony of the Night. Now in fairness, you'd have to go well out of your way to find one without aid of a walkthrough. It's only found via one enemy's rare item drop, and the drop rate on it is unbelievably low. Unless you're actively trying to fill every area in the Librarian's Bestiary while playing, finding the Crissaegrim by accident is almost impossible. The only viable way to get a Crissagerim in any acceptable amount of time is to boost your luck stat like nothing else and then start killing Schmoos in the Inverted Library. When you finally see the Crissaegrim drop and equip it, you'll experience why it's so hidden. Alucard doesn't really swing the sword; rather, four little sword-like energy beams pop out at blinding speed and rip through everything in front of Alucard. Given how fast Alucard can attack with it, virtually no enemy in the entire game will be able to touch him after you find one. If you're insane enough to farm two of these swords, you'll be able to kill any enemy you choose without even looking at the screen. Alucard can attack so fast with two Crissaegrims that the framerates of the game can't fully keep up, and enemies will actually take less damage than they should. Not that it really matters, given that one hit from this thing is enough to take out most non-bosses --- and you get four with each swing. Dracula's worst nightmare ceased being sunlight and garlic the moment Alucard picked up his first Crissaegrim.

If you're playing a multiplayer game of Perfect Dark against anyone that knows how to use a Farsight and they find one first, just quit. You can't win. That's because the Farsight is an alien sniper rifle that can see and shoot through walls, and can hit you anywhere, from any spot on the map. It only takes one shot to kill you (unless you have a shield, in which takes it'll take a STAGGERING two hits... oh the horror), and its secondary mode is an auto-lockon feature that makes finding hapless saps on the other side of the map a breeze. All it really takes to win a match with a Farsight is to camp by the Farsight ammo spawn. If there's only one, it's almost impossible to lose unless you have awful aim. There are only three viable counters. One is a Laptop Gun, but deploying the Laptop Gun as a sentry turret requires you to live long enough to find a Laptop, then to get close enough to throw it onto a favorable spot. Two is cloaking, which is the one counter that reliably works because of a cloaked character not showing up on radar. The one problem with this is that you still have to kill the one with the Farsight while cloaked, and the invisibility effect on the Cloaking Device/RCP-120 doesn't last forever. Most people are also smart enough to look at your screen to see where you are in case you get close, and the Farsight is just as powerful while used normally, so you're normally stuck trying to kill from a distance. Furthermore, cloaking stops once you start firing a weapon. Lastly, there's the Farsight itself, though this relies on the map having more than one spawn point for it. These multiplayer fights always turn into one or two people camping by the Farsight spawns, and everyone else running around like ants in a sad attempt to counter. That's because the Farsight is damn near unbeatable, hence why no other weapon before or since is better.

Weapons come in all shapes and sizes, and have been around since the beginning of video games. Some weapons however stand head and shoulders above the rest in either raw power or how well we remember them after seeing them. I'm sure few if any people reading this will agree with the list, but that's half the fun in writing them :)

List by UltimaterializerX (02/14/2007)

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