Review by Black Star
Reviewed: 02/25/02 | Updated: 02/25/02
The Forgotten Child.
C'mon, now--It really wasn't that bad. I owned one of these babies myself. I only had one game: Mario Tennis. I spent hours playing that game. Of course, I withdrew my head with an almost definate permenant amount of eye damage, but damnit, it was worth it(?). It was a really innovative system for its time. Nintendo was still in its fledgeling years of kinda-3D graphics display. You people honestly expect way too much of them.
Graphics: 7/10 - I'd give them a 10, if they hadn't put everything in red, and if they hadn't given my spine serious injury by making me stare into those God Forsaken blinders.
Sound: 8/10 - For a little peice of eyewear, the sound was really pretty good. It was pretty clear, the music was entertaining(even though most of the time you wouldn't listen to it) and it matched the scenery (at least in Mario Tennis).
Controller: 9/10 - This thing looks a lot like the Gamecube controller. If only Nintendo would look back to their old instead of their new, the N64 controller might've been...a little less...harmful to the eye.
Blinder things: -1000/10 -ARGH!! I HATED THOSE! They made my face all sweaty and made my eyes vulerable to natural sunlight! As if they weren't already, but, hey...they also gave the base of my neck a considerable rearranging to get a good view of the screen...
Portability: 5/10 - There was NO FREAKIN' WAY you could play this thing in the car. Or anywhere else. You'd always have to wait til you got there to play it, and that's what you brought your Gameboy for, right?
Undeniable Eye damage factor: If you have sensitive eyes, don't play this. If you are taking medication for your cateracts, don't play this. If you are pregnant or nursing, don't play this. Only if you are a true gamer and have broken at least one bone playing any game should you brave this machine.
Permenant Crick in the neck factor: 1000/10 - I STILL have a crick from that damn thing. Take my advice: don't sit on the floor and play this unless you're a midget or Pretzel Girl.
As far as the Virtual Boy itself goes, it's more of a back breaker than an enjoyable experience. Like a Bowflex. But we're not here to complain about the hardware, we're here to waste a few hours of our short lives. Aren't we? ...Aren't we?!
Rating: 3.5 - Good
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