Review by Duke24m

"Ubisoft: You Murderer!"

I've had my Wii for a couple months now. I've played the hell out of Wii Sports, and played a couple other games. I watched Red Steel before the Wii launched. I was mildly impressed. What did I expect? Every game preview makes a game look awesome... given the right circumstances.

I finally decide to go to my local movie/game rental store and rent Red Steel. I go home, put it in my Wii...

I sit there for a while...


The menu complicates things. You have to drag menu icons to this big billboard screen thing in the middle. I thought to myself, why? Why do this? It only complicates things and prevents you from playing the game sooner (as if you want to play this game anyway...). I suggest setting the sword fight sensitivity to high because if you use my technique below, you probably won't lose ever.

Not really much to say about the beginning. The game starts you off looking at fish. That's right. Fish. Sure, it's to get use to the Wiimote sensitivity, but come on.. looking at fish? We all know how to look around in video games. We're not cavemen. More games need in-game tutorials like Half-Life 2 has. You learn as you go, not force fed to you all at once so you're choking on how bad this game actually is. As soon as you're stupid in-game girlfriend stops constantly changing her mind on what kind of fish she likes, a cut scene comes up. A cut scene that looks like paper cutouts moving across the screen. Oh come on. They couldn't use the in-game graphics to make a cut scene? That's just describes pathetic right there.

After you go through a few hallways, the action picks up. People bust in, start lighting the place up, and you have to single handedly take everyone down in your path. Like every other FPS game hasn't used the same cliche style of game play ever!


Anyway, after blasting your way through numerous enemies, you encounter your first sword fight. Let me describe the sword fight for you: You might as well be fighting a wooden dummy. For every sword fight, ALL you have to do is swing the Wiimote like a mad man and you'll win every time. EVERY TIME. Screw the fancy moves, just swing the dang thing. After you win your first sword fight, you can either end his life or let him live. There's no real point in doing this. At least I didn't see any, so just waste the sucker and get on your way.

Lets move on to the enemy AI. How shall I put this? They're a load of crap. The voice acting is HORRIBLE (the asian characters have horrid voice acting as well. They don't even sound asian), every enemy sounds exactly the same (even the black enemy thugs sound like white business men), and they call YOU a murderer (frigging hypocrites). Sometimes the enemies will stand there like an idiot pointing their gun at the wall. Other times, they'll shoot you with impeccable accuracy. They really slacked on the AI here.

Before I get into the controls, a thing that REALLY bugs me is you can't kill every person you see. Only ones that turn your cross-hair red. I want to kill civilians in my way! At least give me some kind of freedom here... stupid linear piece of crap.

The controls are pretty bad as well. The aiming glitches out on you all the time, you move your hand all the way to the left to turn left, it looks down or it glitches out on you, or doesn't even respond. In order to pick up a gun, you have to stand over it and make a thrusting motion with the nunchuck. Sometimes when you're in a gun fight, the idiot doesn't bother to pick the gun up. So what do you have to do? Stand up, make sure you're directly under the gun, but guess what? There's no way to know you're directly under the gun just by looking down because you CAN'T look directly at the floor! You have to look at a tiny little icon that shows the weapon, but sometimes it doesn't pick up the dang gun. So you'll end up making constant motions with the nunchuck to pick up the gun and before you pick it up, you're dead. Ugh, this game sucks.

The only thing that I actually liked was that you can basically make any vehicle explode. As if that wasn't used a million times already as well. It gives you an edge when you can't shoot the tip of a person's head because you end up shooting a concrete pillow or something else that bullets could easily pass through. Another overused thing is that everything you can destroy is made of glass. God... Seriously. Could they put a bit more effort in this launch title? Voice acting blows, controls suck, story is cliche, the graphics stink... I know what you're wondering: Is there anything about this game you actually like? Yes. The fact I'm returning this game to the rental store and never setting eyes on it again.

This game should be named: Red Steel: This Belongs in a Red Steel Garbage Can.

...okay, that was kind of fruity, but you get the picture.

Reviewer's Rating:   1.5 - Bad

Originally Posted: 03/07/07

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