Review by FOSIBU

"Too Human, Ten years for this?"

Ok so I have had gamefly for a little while and I always keep my game for about 4 days and get all the achievements for it. I got Too Human 12 hours ago and already put it in my mailbox. Its just horrible. I wish they would have given up after the 9th year.

The graphics are sad at best. The lip syncing makes me feel like its another language. The monsters all look stiff and almost never change. I dont think I really saw any blood at all now that I think about it. The video sequences look derelict in comparison to the today's, out of sequence, graphics. The zombies looked more like moving bags of sand. The animations of every attack and special effect were almost exactly the same.

The sound on this game is pretty ridiculous. The voices all sound poorly acted out along with some serious lack of interest. Im not positive but I think that the sound of the weapon hitting an opponent is exactly the same with every weapon and attack.

This only gets a 9/10 if youre into a struggle. In the four different levels there are, I died 89 times. Now I dont consider myself amazing at this game but I was definitely owning at times. Being a melee class is pretty much the worse thing you can do considering that all the difficult "leader" monsters are impossible to get close to. Monsters literally come by the dozens and after youre done with the 20-60 monsters in the area, you get to fight that many more in about one minute of walking. Not to mention when you do die you have to watch a scene of a valkyrie take you do val halla. Yes it looks cool but it gets old after the fourth or fifth time, let alone the 80th. The bosses have an INSANE amount of health. It takes about 5 minutes of straight shooting just to get a limb off and usually you have to knock off the arms, legs, torso, and head. Sometimes there are more.

This right analog stick way of attacking is the first thing I will address as a completely mundane and stupid way of attacking. Almost every game out uses the right analog for camera. If you are ranged you cant really pick your target because you cant scroll over. You pretty much end up shooting whatever you target, which in some situations is very very aggravating. You can only change your view to straight in front of you with left bumper and even then sometimes it just over rides your command for another view. You can change the distance but thats about it, you cant turn unless you use the left bumper.

This game is extremely short. There are only four chapters and they arent really all that long. My first playthrough with a new character only took ten hours. I could only imagine how fast I could have done another considering I knew what to do and I get to start with my already leveled and geared character.

Honestly, this story is ridiculously dumb. Out of all the four chapters and the whole story, there is only one major twist. Even that twist is pretty damn predictable if your IQ is above five. The first three missions are practically pointless really. I didnt even know there was a story until the middle of the third mission.

I have never wanted to return a game so fast and so bad. I figured that after being a ps1 title, then being pushed back to a gamecube title, and now being pushed into a xbox 360 title that it would be good but I was wrong. It has the gauntlet legends feel to it but its not as good and is much more difficult. I mean come on, theres an achievement for dying 100 times. If you see this game, for the love of god burn it.

Reviewer's Rating:   1.5 - Bad

Originally Posted: 10/14/09

Game Release: Too Human (US, 08/19/08)

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