Review by DerkaJeehod

"Grand Theft Auto or Suck Barrow Bicycle"

If you have ever been so bored that you wished there was something more lame for you to do than just sit around all day... Grand Suck Auto is the game for you! The repetitive occurrences in the game such as, but not limited to - stupid and pointless phone calls, awful plot lines, random characters that you are sent out to kill for no reason, pointless cut scenes, and getting run over all... the... TIME - are enough to make you want to personally call the game designers to see what they were thinking when they came up with some of these ideas. You are constantly receiving calls from people you don't care about asking if you want to go bowling or something, IN A VIDEO GAME!!! You will be in the middle of an "intense" mission flying through the air in your helicopter and you will get a call from cousin asking you if you want to get a couple of beers. Stupid? I think so...


Gameplay 4/10
Everything from actually stealing a random car (hence Grand Theft Auto) to shooting everybody in a five mile radius of a random block, the control system is simply awkward. Auto Aim with the "L" trigger is the most pointless mechanism in the game. You will be trying to shoot someone who is frantically running away from you and you will lock onto everything but said person you are trying to kill. From the very first moment that you hop in a car and drive away from the seen of the crime, you will notice that the driving mechanics are awful for a franchise that prides itself with a name like grand theft AUTO (as in automobile). The angles make the car seem like its in a constant state of "Left Turn". You never really get to look at the vehicle from the perfect and standard 6 O'clock position. Many missions revolve around being the "driver", most of the time this entails that you will go some pretty far distances, when you fail the mission you get to waste your time again and start from the beginning in your slow vehicle. A checkpoint system would have been greatly appreciated in some of the missions.

Music 8/10

I was actually fairly impressed with the music selections of the game. Everything from some classic 80's tunes, to modern day reggeaton. When you get into a car, you can pretty easily change the station with your d-pad until you find something pleasing.

Graphics 8/10

For a game with such a large platform, I am surprised to say that the graphics flow very evenly. You can even see Nikko's (who you play as) jacket sway sometimes as you make him sprint. Every so often though, you will run across the occasional man walking halfway in the wall of a building or a floating police officer or something, these things can be expected though.

Storyline 2/10

This is possibly the most annoying plot out of any GTA ever created. Apparently you are an ex military man from ------ (not to ruin anything for you) who has come to Liberty City to see your cousin. Because of your past in the military and your annoying cousin who blabs to everyone about you, you get hired by many powerful men to do their dirty work. Well you and I know that that's not the entire reason he has come Liberty City or else there wouldn't be a complete and convincing game. It wasn't until I logged about 18 hours or so that I finally got the whole picture. To me, that is just way to long to wait in order to understand what the game is actually about. There aren't even subtle hints leading up to your discovery, just one awful cut scene haha!

Game 4/10

Although the Graphics and the Music are very tolerable and in fact fairly pleasant, I must admit that the two main ingredients - Gameplay and Plot - for a good game are less than awesome (possibly an understatement). I recommend that you at least rent it or wait until it becomes a best seller to buy it because even though I didn't really like it, it still is a Grand Theft Auto.

Reviewer's Rating:   2.0 - Poor

Originally Posted: 06/16/08

Game Release: Grand Theft Auto IV (US, 04/29/08)

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