Review by sebastianscott
"Good graphics. In a bland and boring setting."
Let's roll with this shoddy Grand Theft Auto 4 review!
I having never played any of the other GTA's, didn't really care for the series, hell, I didn't even know that there was a new one out until my brother bought it for me. I popped it in thinking "Sweet, Time to blow up some people with a tank." 60 hours later, just finished the game, and sorely disappointed. Why you ask, because the game just reeks of failure. There's nothing that I have seen in the other GTA games, Rockstar pretty much removed everything cool in the game to try and make it more "realistic", which ruined the whole thing for me. One of the biggest things that annoyed me(how is this realistic anyways?) about this game was the Friendship thing. Your "friends" (aka your Ex - Partners in Crime) call you about every 10 seconds, and whenever you say no to going out to drink, bowl, eat, go to strip clubs, or play darts (I think I covered all of them) your friendship level drops. I mean what the hell, just because I said NO to you ONCE instantly means I hate you? Ya, if you think like that I'm defiantly not going to hang with you anymore if you think like that (but then again, your character just doesn't seem to care about anyone's character or moral bindings, or any sort of thing that makes them human, just money). Any who, besides that and the awful driving there's nothing noteworthy terrible about this game, well maybe there is, but I just want to cover the Story already.
Story: 6/10 : Okay. Lets just say it has slightly more story then a sports or racing game. Your Neko Bellic, an immigrant from Europe (illegal at that) who comes to America at the advice of his cousin Roman Bellic who tells him lies of him having large amount of money and so forth (he does own a Taxi Depot so he does have ~some~ money.) Neko also came here to look for someone, and kill him, but this is brought up so rarely that you'll more then likely forget about it. Well, pretty much right after he takes his foot off the boat he has to kill someone, and it he doesn't even care about it. He pretty much went "I didn't want to kill anyone here!" /kills people anyways, pointing to the fact that he has very little in the department of Morals. Any who, he starts to meet people that do less then legal jobs, and they ask him to pretty much kill everything, for a price of course, which Neko gladly accepts, ignoring the fact that he's killing loads of people along the way for most of the time, for less then $6000. Pretty much all these missions are the same, yes there's 1-2 big gun fights, but its mainly "Go point A Go point B kill Guy at point B or follow guy who's running from point B", it's oodles of fun the first time, but it make you want to go cut yourself after the 20th. Most of the time you're thinking that these random people have some connection to the plot in some way, but 9/10th of the missions are stand alone. You could pick up this game at any moment, and more then likely be able to tell what's going on. There's maybe 3-4 missions that deal anything with Neko's whole "revenge" plot, but so far in-between that as stated above, you'll likely forget about it and go along with the missions that are pretty much all the same, and are all meaningless. Story sucks, but its more then some games so 6/10.
Controls: 2/10: Dear god, these are just awful. The main problem with the controls, is when you need to run, you must press the A button non-stop. If you don't you'll just walk incredibly slow, which will get you no where in a fight. Other then that the controls are fine, besides the targeting system which sometimes won't target what you want it too, and the horrid driving (its nearly impossible to drive well in this game, if this is realistic driving like every claims it is, driving would require a masters degree when you go over the speed of 65. Any who 2/10
Multiplayer: 8/10: this was decent, it had a few game types of everything and is kind of fun. It was no Halo or Call Of Duty, but it wasn't unplayable. I'd give a batch of cookies to whoever made this 8/10. Decent
Weapons: 5/10: Um, their weapons? They are sort of divided into 2 groups the "Poor" weapons and the good weapons. If you have a Poor weapon, it will be replaced by a good weapon, if you choose to pick it up. Vice-Versa though I think because the Molotov's are poorer then the Grenades, but your able to pick them up without any hassle. The biggest gun in game is the RPG and it makes stuff go boom. That's pretty much it. All the other weapons besides the Knife/Bat and the Molotov/Grenade are pretty much faster versions of the pistol.
Graphics: 7/10: The graphics are great, wonderful, really good, wouldn't change them at all, but why a 7/10, if their that good? Because its all grays and browns. Sure there's a few parks and everything, but it's mainly just a drab, city, that looks that has buildings and vehicles that look the same. The cars look kind of good, but most of them look the same.
Extras: 0/10: Ya know, how other GTA games had tanks, and airplanes and cool stuff like that to keep you occupied? Well, this has a military helicopter for killing 200 hard to find small semi-glowy birds, iust a helicopter, nothing else. You get an achievement for killing the 200 birds, but does that really matter that much? I would have to say that a helicopter that you can't even SHOOT right is a pretty bad prize for killing 200 small birds. One of the worst extras in the history of man 0/10 score.
Overall, this is a semi-good game. If it didn't have the GTA label slapped onto it, this game wouldn't have the great reviews, and I doubt it would have sold as well as it did. Fanboy-ism is a great thing for Rockstar huh? 4/10, Poor - Game is Unremarkable and Flawed.
Reviewer's Rating: 2.0 - Poor
Originally Posted: 08/05/09
Game Release: Grand Theft Auto IV (US, 04/29/08)
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